Delusions. . .

I actually thought about it for real.... I asked myself, "Joe, what would it take to actually take over the world?" James Bond movies make it seem almost easy. These movie megalomaniacs have all these minions (How do they get those? Is it because there is a good dental plan?) at their disposal, and enough money to build some sort of device they can use to hold the world hostage. After thinking about it for awhile, I decided that it's not that easy. There are issues to consider. For example, if I make Canada a nature preserve, where do I place all the misplaced Canadians? Anyway, to make a long story short, I decided to place my want to rule the world on the back burner and instead focus on determining possibilities. I should also think on smaller scales in order to build up to larger scales like taking over the world. This is how I came up with the following:

TEN THINGS I WOULD DO IF I SUDDENLY BECAME FILTHY RICH!
(I love these list things all of a sudden).

1. Travel the United States and collect a whole bunch of bumper stickers: "I've Been to Wall Drug!"

2. Ramon (or is it Ramen) noodles! Ramon noodles! Ramon noodles! I would never eat them again! EVER!!!!

3. Buy a popcorn factory then eat all the popcorn I can until I puke.

4. Buy a container of Tic Tacs... the orange flavor.

5. Buy Wisconsin... liberate central Illinois from the evil clutches of cheese sauce with real cheese.

6. Play ski ball until my hearts content.

7. DO NOTHING!!! Why should I do something? I am filthy rich, suckers!

8. Real estate! Real estate! Real estate! ... Buy some or something.

9. Buy some random street... and name it after me.

And, finally,

10. Buy Canada!

I know what you are thinking... "Joe, how can you be such a bastard? What about helping family and friends?" Good question. I will get back to you on that! :)

Prost!