Small Victory...

I haven't had much success on so many fronts over the last few months. Literally, I am loser. No matter what, I am left with my head in my hands shaking vigorously wondering when it will all end. I have been unlucky in love. Unlucky in my profession. Unlucky in the sports teams I choose. Unlucky in so many ways. Today, though, I had an uncharastically small victory. Not one to lift my spirits beyond shit level, but one that says, "Heh... Can you believe that!" ... I took this extremely difficult history course the last quarter. I found it difficult. It was a challenge. I had to read 8 bibles on 8 eras of American History in basically 8 weeks. They were bibles, I shit you not. It was basically one book a week, several papers, and lots of discussion. I wasn't in the right state of mind with this class. It was a real challenge, because of some personal reasons. Hell, it would've been a challenge with a good state of mind... But, let's say, the chips were down. My goal was to raise my G.P.A. above the 3.9 mark. I had a 4.0, but had a setback a couple years back. My baby niece came home, and... well... because of all of that, I slipped. That fucking grade really did a number on the G.P.A. Anyway, I vowed to get my GPA close to the 4.0 mark, and I did that with a small victory. I actually got an "A" in that graduate class. "This class is as hard, if not harder then the courses I took at Northwestern," said the professor. I did it. I know, you don't really care. But, for me? This is something. It shows me that when the chips are down, I can still B.S. my way through acadamia. Actually, it says that I can meet horrific challenges head on and win. I haven't had many of these moral victory type things. I keep moving forward you know. I hope to have more of these smaller victories. I guess I had one yesterday when a kid said, "You're cool." I had another when my baby neice came home and did a happy dance when she saw me. "Joe!" she screamed. "Joe" and she pointed at my direction. Well, I know this isn't at all funny, but I wanted to share. I am actually proud of myself. I may have that 3.95 yet! I never thought, in my wildest dreams, I could do this well in acadamia. If you knew me as that snot nosed college kid.... If I could find that kid... If could... Water under the bridge. I think that oughta do it today. Oh, I picked up a shit load of Kurt Vonnegut books. Anybody read any of those? I read Slaughterhouse Five... I figured I read his others. That's my new thing lately, reading. I have read more books in the past few months then I have in a long time. They say it helps with writing. We'll see.