Laundry...

You had serious, now its time for drivel! A Joe Stream O'Conciousness Rant! Ready? Set! GO!

I hate doing laundry. I can't think of anything more annoying then laundry... well, that's not true, but still laundry is annoying. So, like all the things I find annoying, I try to avoid them. Laundry is no exception. That means, I let my clothes pile up in various corners of my room and closets. Yes, that's right. The Rockies are a very nice, tall range of mountians. They ain't got nothing on the Joe Range. BUT, I ran out of clothing, which means this week I decided to climb the Joe Range... Because it's there? NO! I needed underwear (Snarf!!)... So, yeah, this week's project was to finally dismantle the moutain range that is my laundry and clean it... AND, that is such a pain in the ass. First, I have this annoying tendency to forget to check my pockets. I lost my cellphone headset... They are so right! Electronic gadgets break after you wash them. The fucker is shorted and sitting here useless next to me.. So, I learned that doing laundry breaks stuff. That's annoying, don't you think! I also washed some money. That's good. So, yes, doing laundry makes you rich. I guess that's the really only good thing. I also washed serveral beer bottle caps, a necklace, a ring, some matches, a lighter... Hey, why do lighters still work but electronic gadgets don't? That's just crap! Anyway, I washed other things other then laundry. So, I learned that doing laundry makes you wash other things which increases labor! That's sucks ass... Laundry is extremely labor intensive in the first place. Anyway, so I am doing laundry. I finally put the final load in the machine just now (foot hills, maybe? Yeah, I put in the foot hills). This is day three! The dryer here does anything but dry. It takes days, weeks, eons, to dry anything. In fact, on some items, its just best to let it air dry. So, laundry makes things messier. Anyway, the dryer just spins the clothing. I think the clothing, when spun enough times, actually decide to just let the moisture go. "Shit," says the sweatshirt, "I don't think that asshole is gonna let us out of here if we continue to hold this moisture. He's just going to let us spin and spin and spin." "Jesus, Sweatshirt! I think you're on to something!" says the Jeans. Finally, after enough spinning the t-shirt says, "I've had it! Out moisture! OUT!" Why do the T-shirts dry quicker? I think because they give up sooner. After all, they are just T-shirts. What is a T-shirt compared to jeans anyway. So, finally, after spinning and spinng, all the clothing finally decide to release the moisture into the dryer somewhere... That takes about three extra long spin cycles. It's like torture for them. I can hear the current load screaming. So, laundry is clothing torture. Where was I? Oh, yeah, the dryer takes forever and the clothing have developed speech all of sudden. They speak "clothing!" ... So, yeah, I hate laundry. I hate doing it! And, what sucks most? The folding! Folding takes forfuckingever! And, still, when its folded, you still have to put it away! It's like an endless battle, doing laundry! Laundry is an endless amount of steps. Seriously, when you are done with laundry, you are already creating another mountain range because of what you are wearing as you do laundry! Laundry ...laundry... Laundry sucks. And, it is even more so for me, because I am sooo fucking lazy! I let it pile up and I shoot myself in the foot all the time because I hate doing laundry so I let it collect. What's that I hear? Great! Something that is not supposed to be in the dryer is bouncing around in there. I wonder what I lost now. Sigh... Laundry... Another term for HELL!