"I comes to see a jump, and I aims to see a jump!"

says Yosemite Sam to Bugs Bunny at gunpoint. Together they climb a very high ladder to a platform on a stage. Below is a tub full of water. Sure enough, dear old Bugs keeps tricking Sam into making the jump himself several times. During this time of year... my SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) time, I often think of that very Looney Toons cartoon because it brings a smile to my face every time I think about it. Particularly that moment where you see Sam fall as the orchestra provides a whistle sound, and then his unceremonious climb back upwards for revenge (again followed by an orchestral trumping sound). And, it happens again and again and again and again. Damn, I crack up just thinking about it. I grew up on the Looney Toons. I think I watched the Bugs Bunny and Road Runner Show every Saturday. It was on for an hour, and that was the best hour every weekend. It's really hard to describe the comedy of those cartoon shorts, that is if you don't have a frame of reference. But, I have to tell you, most of those shorts were brilliant. Sure, there was physical comedy, but much of the dialog was pretty much adult. For example, Sylvester the Cat joined a 12-step program to refrain from eating birds. He says, "Eating Birds is strictly for the birds!" How many kids know what a twelve step program is.... Well, maybe nowadays too many... But, anyway. That particular episode in my opinion was fairly adult. How about lines like the following from the great Robin Hood episode and the hero played by Daffy Duck: "I am going to get him with my trusty quarter staff!" Then aside to the camera, "Actually, it's a buck and a quarter quarter staff, but he doesn't need to know that!" BRILLIANT!!! Which follows is a losing battle, then unto some trees that Daffy fails to navigate by swinging from them. And, maybe that is why I still love the Looney Toons and have been collecting the Golden Collections every year since they have been offered. Kids today have no idea how wonderful these cartoons are! Or, the quality that the artists strove for with each episode. FANTASTIC!!! The shit that is on television now, it's awful. I shared a moment with my nieces and nephew where we watched the Emperor's New School. GADS!!! What a mess! It wasn't funny. The jokes were forced. The writing was awful. The characters remained uninteresting. Disney needs some schooling (though, I have a few favorite old Disney shorts... "Apple core!" "Who wants some more?" "Him!".... "Now, put it in the bag...boom! Boom!" or something like that.) I guess my point is simple, Looney Toons just rock. Well, the old cartoons rock.

Sadly, I have noticed that my exposure to the physical comedy of Looney Toons has warped my sensibilities. I have found things that shouldn't be funny to be truly hilarious. For that I feel guilty. In fact, I still find these things funny as I think about them, and now I feel really guilty. The other month, I was at a staff meeting. We met in a large room with these wonderful plate-glass windows that, if you were really, really tall, could look ou and pretty much see everything around. They are great windows for extremely tall people. As I was sitting there zoning out (I hate meetings), a bird smacked one of the gianormous windows leaving a splotch of bird juice as it fell to its untimely death. And, there was that sound... that sound that ... it ... "BLAM!" BLAM! and then splotch! A sane person, like several around me, gasped in grief for the animal. Not me. I laughed. I laughed hard. I laughed at the sound. I laughed at the splotch. I laughed at the sound and the splotch. I was cold, heartless, and sadly have a grand old time at the expense of a dumb creature who knows nothing of the windows. This I blame on Looney Toons. How often did I see an animal ram into some object leaving a splotch? How many times did I laugh at that? And, the other day. I was driving a friend around town. He'd never really been in this part of central Illinois and decided to visit from the North. As any good host would do, I bored him with an auto tour. "This place? I buy smokes here! And that sign? It's next to a great liquor store. I go there often. And, that place has some other great liquor deals!" I showed him the important things. Anyway, as we drove along, a pigeon landed right in the middle of the street, about 30 feet in front of my moving vehicle. Most birds fly away as a car approaches. It is the normal response. Not this bird. It stopped. It looked at my oncoming vehicle. It turned to face my vehicle. It then didn't move, that is until I had to drive over it (busy street. I learned that to avoid auto accidents, don't try to avoid animals.....). Suddenly, from under the car, I heard... BLAM! and, I am sure there was a splotch. I said, "What the fuck?" My friend said, "You hit the bird!" I said, "I know! I can't believe it." We starred at each other for a few seconds. Then we laughed. Then we laughed again. Then we just laughed. Seriously, it wasn't funny. Still we laughed. "That was fucked up," I said. "Did you hear that sound?" "Dude, I bet there is a dead bird hanging from your car's underside!" We laughed again. I blame our reaction on Looney Toons. Animals or characters getting hit by moving vehicles is a common occurrence in those Toons.

Because of Looney Toons, I have some great memories. I have had exposure to some great comedy. But, also because of Looney Toons I am a warped individual who is evil.
BRILLIANT!!! Thanks, Bugs! Later!