Sugarless Peeps?

I can't believe they made sugarless Peeps!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!!?


Okay, so, I went into a bathroom yesterday. There were three urinals. I was being followed in by other dudes which prompted me to take the middle one. Based on male bathroom etiquette I should've gone to the left or the right. I took the middle. WHY? Because, well, dudes don't like to pee next to other dudes. I wanted to see what would happen and be an ass. The two guys went into the stalls. I snickered. Asshole 1... guys ...0.

A Classic Joke I've heard a thousand times and never fails to amuse...

An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the
pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but
serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone..

An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three
more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders
and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town
is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers.



Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?"



"Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies. "You see, I have two brothers, and one went to America, and the other to Australia.

We promised each other that we would always order an
extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family
bond."



The bartender and the whole town were pleased with this answer, and soon the Man WhoOrders Three Beers became a local celebrity and source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.

Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender
pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening.
He orders only two beers. The word flies around town.
Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.

The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here, me
first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your
brother. You know-the two beers and all.



The man ponders this for a moment, then replies," You'll be happy to
hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I,
meself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent."