I Fought the Fridge and the Fridge Won...
I actually had plans this Friday evening, but cancelled due to conflicts. Actually, this is cool. I really didn't feel like going out considering I had been out last night until the wee hours of the morn. Two nights in a row of activity of that magnitude wears me out, considering I will be out all day tomorrow as well. That, AND, I think I needed an evening with me, a killer cat, a not so killer cat, and an old cat along with nothing but the sounds of silence... No "Joe! JJJJJOOOOOOOEEEEE!" to contend with. I decided to also clean the fridge. Man! I have no idea what half that stuff was in there. Something grabbed my left arm, twisted me over, threw me against the crisper and started to pound me with what looked like a bottle of ketchup. I quickly grabbed what used to be celery...I think. I then threw it at the offending thing as hard as I could. My weapon of choice just sorta....ummm... It didn't do anything except wilt on contact. Before I knew it, I think some sort of leftover pasta dish made a mad dash for the door. I couldn't do anything, because I was pinned against the crisper. I cried out for the strength to break free..... I cried out again.... Third cry is the charm.... But, it was the eighth cry that brought on the strength and I easily defeated the creature with a big brick of cheese that happened to be handy. I don't know where that cheese came from. It might have crawled to me upon hearing my cries of desperation. In that fridge? Anything is possible. Quickly, I jumped up, slipped on some water I had spilled, impaled my foot on a kitchen chair, stabbed myself with the knife I grabbed, and then ran after the pasta. You just can't allow pasta to just run free. It's... It's wrong! ...I am frustrated to report that I am still looking for it. It escaped down an air vent before I could stab it with petrified jello (The knife? I don't want to talk about that). Now, I hear growling through the vents at the moment....ummm... Mother! *Gulp*
After several such battles with other fridge creatures, I finally subduded the beasts to a garbage bag. I closed the garbage bag. I jumped on the garbage bag. Finally, after what seemed like days, the bag stopped moving.
I quickly armed myself with a sponge, hot water with soap, a dry rag, and began the process of liberating the fridge. It took me a good hour. I like to be thorough. I also had to contend with new and interesting civilizations. Extermination is a hard job. It really is. So, yeah, I spent the evening with the fridge and will soon continue with a good book. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Be safe! Take care! Viva la... something.
After several such battles with other fridge creatures, I finally subduded the beasts to a garbage bag. I closed the garbage bag. I jumped on the garbage bag. Finally, after what seemed like days, the bag stopped moving.
I quickly armed myself with a sponge, hot water with soap, a dry rag, and began the process of liberating the fridge. It took me a good hour. I like to be thorough. I also had to contend with new and interesting civilizations. Extermination is a hard job. It really is. So, yeah, I spent the evening with the fridge and will soon continue with a good book. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Be safe! Take care! Viva la... something.
posted by "Just" Joe at 9:07 PM
6 Comments:
This, my friends, has got to be one of the stupidest blogs I have ever written.. I don't think it works... Well, you win some, you lose some.. SO, I leave you with this Jazz Standard before I part:
Blues in the Night (Mercer)
My mama done tol´ me,
When I was in knee pants,
My mama done tol´ me,
Son! A woman´ll sweet talk
And give ya the big eye;
But when the sweet talkin´s done,
A woman´s a two face
A worrisome thing
Who´ll leave ya t´sing
The blues in the night
Now the rain´s a fallin´,
Hear the train a collin´
Whoo-ee (my mama done tol´ me)
Hear dat lonesome whistle
Blowin´ cross the trestle,
Whoo-ee (my mama done tol´ me)
A whoo-ee-duh-whoo-ee, ol´ clickety clack´s
A echoin´ back th´ blues in the night
The evenin´ breeze´ll start the trees to cryin´
And the moon´ll hide its light
When you get the blues in the night
Take my word, the mockin´ bird´ll
Sing the saddest kind o´ song
He knows things are wrong and he´s right
From Natchez to Mobile,
From Memphis to St. Joe,
Wherever the four winds blow,
I been in some big towns,
An´ heard me some big talk,
But there is one thing I know
A woman´s a two face,
A worrisome thing
Who´ll leave ya t´sing the blues in the night
My mama was right, there´s blues in the night
I can't sleep again.... I've been sitting here, in the dark, for four hours alone with my thoughts. ERGGGGGGG.....
Hey, I didn't think the blog was stupid. Odd, yes, stupid no. I've seen your refrigerator. Many of the events described could have happened... When your sister gets back, she will get the pleasure of filling the 'frig back up again.
I could live with odd.
I actually liked it, because I had a similar experience with dust bunnies. They grow awfully fast. maybe I should have come over and watched you clean the fridge.
I could've used back-up! Some sister you are!
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