It's Tuesday...

My printer has malfunctioned. I can see the icon on my desk bar blinking at me... "HEY IDIOT!" it is screaming. "MECHANISM JAM!!!.... MECHANISM JAM, DUMBASS!!!" ... I have ignored it for two days. "FIX ME OR ... OR SO HELP ME I WILL...UMMMMM...BLINK A LOT!" And, it has. I like honesty in computer peripherals. I like honesty period. I wish more people would be honest with me. But, humans like game playing. I think it is something that is pre-conditioned and begins to appear even in babies. I have had the luxury of watching my baby niece grow-up. She'll be two soon, which is hard to believe. AND, she is the biggest nag. "JOE!" she'll scream. "JJJJJJJJJOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEE!!!" I have to reply, "What!?" Because that's the game we play. Then she'll say, "Goo baggle geesh yuma cookies." That's when she's eating a cookie. For the most part there usually isn't a word I recognize. She does point a lot. My roll, as she talks, is to make comments. "Yes, Emmie, I do feel that Watergate was blown way out of proportion, but you must understand the time period and the overall circumstances." Then she'll gibber some more. "I know, Emmie. Time travel is possible in a future direction if we can travel close to the speed of light. Very impressive." ... This goes on for a couple minutes until I have to go do something. It begins again. "JOE!!! JJJJJJJOOOOOEEEEEE!!!" I have to say, "What!?!" and she begins again. This is a process mind you. I have to play for at least 5 minutes. I guess she likes it when I talk to her. And, she likes talking back. I have come to rue the day where she learned my name. We, as a large group, went to the Berghoff Restaurant before it closed. Like usual, I was the last to arrive (worked to my advantage. I didn't have to wait out in the cold weather like the rest of the group). As I approached, I heard: "JOE!" And, there, bundled up in some huge ass kid jacket, was my niece screaming to everybody in line that I was coming. That made my day. So, I played with her. We walked up and down the street. Since that moment, she really doesn't stop using my name.... I hear it...at night...."JOE!!! Blah goo gaa dwsis sis cup." My sister told me the other day she awoke screaming my name. I guess she wanted to chat. She probably had some great insight she wanted to share. She's loaded with them. Anyway, the point is, it's a game. Everything I do with her becomes a game. "Em, don't touch that." She'll look at you. She'll give a sinister grin as she sneaks closer to the object in question. "Em... Don't...." And, she place one solitary finger on the object and then stare at you... Games... So, yeah, it begins early in life. It doesn't change much over time. The games get more complex. People play ruthlessly. And, some games just become down right nasty. I try not to play them, but I am easily suckered into playing. Maybe it is that competitive attitude within me that I try to ignore. I want to win, I guess. I have to learn there are some games not worth playing, especially if it means sadness on my part. Because I hate game playing, I focus on honesty. I do the, "This is what I am going to do" and then do it. I also say what I am going to do, so that there are no questions. All I want is that back in return... Simple and open honesty. I can't say I don't lie, but that would be a lie. I do try not to lie. I feel there is no point in that at all.... I really don't know what I am getting at, other then lately I have been trying to understand the human condition. Around here? In the game room? Around me is a whole lotta shit going on, and all I can do is watch and I just see bad things and it irks me. Why? Because the wrong people keep winning all the time. I had this conversation with a friend last night. She was upset because the people who keep shitting on her get all the acclaim. They smell like a bed of roses. Shit don't stick. It's the same way here. I do something wrong and hell hath no fury. What? I can't make a mistake? My mistake is soooo small in comparison, but I am the bad person... This guy over here??? He walked away from his daughter, but it is okay because he is confused. HUH???? WHA???? I have other examples I could share. I don't want to get personal. I am tired of losing because I try to live my life justly, rightly, and honestly.... They say good guys finish last. Well, not true... Most good guys just don't finish. It's hard when one is faced with the most fucked up logic day in and day out. Okay, done with the soapbox... I have laundry to do. Smile, folks! That's what I try to do...I try, mind you.... And, don't ever, never, ever ...ever...EVER let the opposing forces bring you down...ever... Stand your ground. Stand tall. Be proud. You have an ally in me. Oh, and ummm... Babies can have dramatic insight. And, some can show you their eyes, nose, mouth, toes, shoes, and belly. Also, they can tell you who everybody is and tell you what sounds animals make. So, listen to them. LISTEN...