A REPEAT!!!

Some of you might remember this posting. To some, this might be new. It was one of my worst and better moments in a not to recent past.

The original was posted in two parts. I have changed some answers.

I refrain from using the original title. It was posted in October 2005.

1. First name? Toughy... Toughy. Ummmmmm…heh…ummmmm… J…R… Well, my name is Bob... I mean, er.. Joe. My name is Joe. Shoot. First question in and I almost made my first fuck up...
2. Were you named after anyone? My name is Joe... I could be named after anybody with the name "Joseph" ... Actually, the answer is, and I think, my mom wanted me to have the first name "Joseph" because the nickname is "Joe" and "Joe" sounds like random noises so I will think everybody is calling my name. I guess she wanted me to have a swelled head or be tortured everyday because people keep using my name over and over and over!!!!!
3. Do you wish on stars? I usaully wish on the ground. The stars are so far away and WAY up there! It would cost billions in research and development to get me to one to wish on it. But, when I do wish, I wish in bed, late at night, watching television. Then sometimes I wish in the kitchen... Maybe in the living room. But, all those things are essentially on the ground. I wish on the ground.
4. When did you last cry? I’ve been crying for months!!! When is this shit going to end??? You know, I have a job interview today.

5. Do you like your hand writing? Only when I want it too. When it writes on its own, I get so pissed off. Cus, like, it's my hand! It should obey me! And, often, my hand writes nasty things about me. Bad, hand! BAD!!
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? I like meat lunches, actually. Ummm... ... ... This question is very prejudice to those vegans and vegetarians. Do the PETA people know about this one? Do they know people are assuming other people eat lunch meat? I like turkey, ham, roast beef, and others.
7. What is your birth date? I was there, but I don't remember. They tell me its in January sometime... I hate my birthday. .. Fuck you, Birthday! I like to disappear on my birthday. I sometimes spend it watching movies. Last year I saw three of them. It was a good day, especially when I got home and had a chocolate bock from Sam Addams! Thanks, Sam! I hate my birthday. (Are we done yet?? Fuck, only question 8!!!!) I this year I only saw one movie. I didn’t like it, so I won’t comment on it. Bad, Movie! BAD! Actually, it was boring. Boring, Movie! Boring!
8. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Would I play with myself? Is that what you are asking? Ummm.. NO! Actually, I don't know if I could be my own friend. I think I would be jealous of my big brains and my sharp wit and my AWESOME personality.... ummm... yeah... The truth is, I would hate me. I hate me now. So, why would that change when I am another person. Not only would I hate me as the other person, I would hate me... That's like hating two people instead of just hating one. I hope I am never another person. That's just a lot of hate.
9. Do you have a journal? Why do you ask? You want to read it? Fuck you! Those are my private thoughts and I might hurt your feelings... For example, like this one... "People who read my blog must be plain... " Let’s just skip this one. :)
10. Do you use sarcasm? Do I? You tell me.
11. What are your nicknames? I have some, I think. They call me.... ummmm...They call me "Joe" to my face. Behind my back, I am sure there are plenty of words I am called....
12. Would you bungee jump? I don't think so. I hear that's expensive. I am cheap. And, besides rubber things don't belong on the feet, if you catch my meaning! WOO HOO! Didn't see that one coming, now did you?
13. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. That is just such a useless and all time consuming step. Fuck that! IT is the American way to be cost cutting....
14. Do you think that you are strong? Yes.... Ouch, I hurt myself on the keyboard hitting a key. Somebody, quick... medic... stat!
15. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Golly... Ummm... I like ummmm... I really like the fruit flavored sherbets. But, when I have Ice Cream, I eat what's in the freezer.
17. Red or Pink? Duck!
18. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I don't have the time nor the space to adequately answer this question. I like cheese and cake and beer.
19 Who do you miss most? My ex-girlfriend. In fact, I ran into her the other day. Then I backed up and ran into her again! I miss her sometimes! (Thanks, J. Rush).
20. Do you want everyone you sent this to, to send it back? God, no! NO!!!! NO!!!! Really, what kind of bullshit question is this? What does this one reveal? "Oh, dear, I don't want anybody to send this back to me so that I have confirmation that I must be a loser!" Who's going to think that! Shit. Okay, I did. Shut up! Leave me alone... or continue.
21. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? Gee, I wonder what this tells you about me! What a mystery? Does Joe even wear clothing!!!????? Shit.... Right now? I am Naked! I say Naked just to be shocking!!! SHOCKING!!!! Are you shocked? Nope... Naked while holding a pen? Find that shocking? Only if it is a red pen? IT IS A RED PEN!!! Now, go away or on to the next question...I am actually wearing a black suit, white shirt, and yellow tie. The shoes are black. My soul is black. The world around me is purple. I have an interview.
22. What are you listening to right now? Yelling, screaming, fighting, blood, death, destruction... you know, the usual stuff.
23. Last thing you ate? An Altoid. They are curiously strong.
24. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? FLESH!!!! (Like you didn't see this one coming!!! Oh boy! Half way!)
25. What is the weather like right now? Dark. .... ... Dark... Ummm... not toasty. Not toasty at all.
26. Last person you talked to on the phone? Matt! Hi, Matt! It was Matt. He wanted to chat. We chatted. :)
27. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? If they are breathing or not.
28. Do you like the person who sent you this?
29. Favorite drink? Come on!!! BEER of course!!!!! (Are we almost done yet??)
30. Favorite sport? Baseball and scaring little children. BOO! I win!
31. Hair color? Brown on the dark side with a hint of evil.
32. Eye color? Hazel…And, when doing witchcraft or committing evil??? Hazel.
33. Do you wear contacts? No. I am a purist. I wear glasses, which I often lose. Maybe I should get contacts. I wouldn't lose them... No, I would. I am just that talented. I need new eyes. They are bent at the moment. I sat on them not too long ago. And, then my niece got at them and went to town.
34. Favorite food? The ones that I can eat! The ones that make me sick? I don't like those.
35. Last movie you watched? Some stupid shit on Lifetime. I had little choice. It was either sit in my room all pathetic... OR, sit with the kids and watch Disney Shit... or be upstairs where the beer is. It's easy to choose where to sit.
36. Favorite day of the year? February 30 .. That is a good day.
37. Scary Movies or Happy Ending? Credits! They usually end films, don't they?
38. Summer or winter? FALL!!!
39.Hugs or kisses? Beer!!! And, when conflicted with two choices such as "Hugs or Kisses", I choose the one that will save more lives. The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few. But, in terms of Hugs and Kisses, I say let them both die a very miserable and horrible death.
40. What is your favorite dessert? Sahara! I mean, I like pie. (10! 10 more to go!!! Bored? Yeah, me too.. The two stupidest questions are next).
41. Who is most likely to respond? Like nobody, cus I ain't mailing it.
42. Who is least likely to respond? Nobody, cus, like I ain't mailing it. (See, dumb! Dumb and stupid!)
43. Living arrangements? I will arrange my own living, thank you.
44. What books are you reading? Actually, I am reading like 200,000,000 titles at the moment...cus, I am in a library! Snarf!!!
45. What's on your mouse pad? My mouse and my ... Wait!?! What the hell is that??? Oh shit! It's growing! It's coming after me!!! Help me! Help me! aaaaahhhhhhhh...... !.
46. What did you watch on TV last night? Shows and little baby hand prints. Now, those are hilarious! Little baby hand prints. They are little and from a baby! Fucking funny as hell, and indication I need to clean the TV screen.
47. Favorite smells? Jesus... I ... Yeah, sure... I will leave it at "Jesus"... I like smelling our savior. (Countdown begins now for the end... 10...9...8...7...)
48. Favorite sounds? Hello darkness my old friend... I've come to talk with you again... People hearing with out listening... People speaking without talking.. ummm lyric..lyric...lyric...muffled sounds.. muffle the lyric... The sounds of silence!!!
49. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Led Zeppelin, Bee-yotch!!! (Shouldn't it be "Elvis" instead of Rolling Stones? Who wrote this shit? Anyway, two more... TWO MORE)
50. What's the furthest you've been from home? I was over hill and dell... And, then I went up the stairs... and there I saw... What was the question again? (Last one, ready?)
51. Do you have a special talent? I waste time really, really well! ... All done, folks.. Oh, one last question not on the list that should've been...

BONUS QUESTION.....
52. White Sox? SUCK!

-----

PART II:
1. WHAT TIME DO YOU GET UP IN THE MORNING? The first time was around 3:30am…That was the time I removed myself from the couch in front of the TV and moved my ass to my futon bed here in the crypt… The second time was around 5:30am to turn off my bedroom light, turn off my private tv, and then take a pee to which after I went back to my bed and found myself very awake... fuck! The final time was at 9:06 am… and moved my ass back to the couch in front of the TV.
2. IF YOU COULD HAVE LUNCH WITH ONE FAMOUS PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE? Famous person? I...I... how about that woman that was in that one movie? She acted good? She won an Oscar? You know who I am talking about? Her! She! That person! Yeah, her! She's awesome. I'd love to have lunch with her.
3. GOLD OR SILVER? Platinum
4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA? Who the hell calls it "Cinema" these days? Who the fuck wrote this question? A Brit? What the fuck? How about "What was the last film you saw at the movies?" Or "Theater?" ... Cinema? Jesus fucking Christ!?!?!? Cinema... Dear lord... Stupid ass shit trying to be all smart and shit... How many people actually know what a Cinema is? Seriously Cinema? "Let's go to the cinema, shall we?" "Oh, please! Goody! Goody! I do so want to go to the cinema!" (he says using a British Accent!).... Ummm... What was the question?
5. FAVORITE TV SHOWS? The one I am watching now is kinda good…And there is the one where the characters do all this wacky stuff and get in all these outrageous situations.… It is hilarious!
6. WHAT ARE YOU READING?
These questions at the moment.
7. WHAT'S YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE ALBUM/MUSIC? Why do you want to know? Trying to nail me for piracy? Is that your plan? Fuck you! FUCK YOU! ... Oh, ummm, Kind of Blue – Miles Davis... This Album is ... is perfection. JAZZ, BABY! YEAH!
And, the Shrek Movie Soundtrack – not a favorite at all.. But, my neice and nephew's favorite and it’s being played over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over ….
8. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? Cat hair… Been eating it three meals a day for the last several years. Every where I go around here, cat hair! Damn cats. There are three of them, currently, in my present location. One of them is trying to kill me, I swear to God!
9. WHAT WOULD YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH? The Shrek Soundtrack.
10. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?Yes, and I can touch other things with my tongue too!!
11. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME? It’s the name after my first name and right before my last name.
12. BEACH, CITY OR COUNTRY? Doesn't matter... I want to rule them all!!!!!
13. FAVORITE ICE CREAM? (I have answered this one before, but I liked my archived answer and I wanted to share) Usually, I like it not melted… but, that seems to be the biggest problem… By the time I get into my ice cream, I find that most of it has melted… then it becomes ice cream sauce… So, my favorite Ice Cream Sauce is.. umm jeesh… ummm… golly, I like my ice cream sauce mixed in with Hot Fudge which is a sauce… so then it becomes a thicker sauce… Because, Ice Cream is cold, the fudge becomes cold, so it isn’t hot fudge anymore… So, I like ice cream/fudge sauce… ummm… Vanilla… because it makes a nice sauce.
14. BUTTERED, PLAIN OR SALTED POPCORN? I want all of them... NOW!
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? That one (he writes pointing over yonder).
16. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CAR? Anyone that works and gets me from point A to point B... And, I am partial to both K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider and the General Lee from the Dukes of Hazzard... And the one parked in front of the house? I don't like that one. That one has GOT to go!
17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SANDWICH FILLING?Cat
18. TRUE LOVE?? Beer, Music, Movies, and Comedy. Oh, you mean women? I think she’s around here somewhere? Let me go check behind the couch… Nope, not there… okay, let me go check behind the refrigerator? Nope… not there either… Hmmm…. Not in the trunk of the car… not in couch cushions… not… Nope, nope, nope… I guess she’s not around… so, ummm… well… did I mention I liked Vanilla ice cream sauce? How about toast? Have I mentioned my interest in toast? This question has GOT to be the biggest bullshit question in the bunch... True Love? Fuck!
19. CHARACTERISTICS YOU DESPISE IN A PERSON? Breathing… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Gosh, Joe.. that was a good one, you damn cynic.
20. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE FLOWERS? Let’s see… I like the Dandelion… Why? Cause, well, no reason. I am lying... I hate the Dandelion! I dispise the fucking weed! They must go! So, favorite flower would have to be the cactus! Is that a flower? Well, it should be!
21. IF YOU HAD A BIG LOTTERY WIN, HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE YOU TO TELL PEOPLE? Who cares? I mean, shit, you aren't getting any of it, so fuck off! You....you, swarmy bastard! Get your begging ass out of here before I call the police!
22. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM? The INSIGHT you might get with this answer! What does the color of the bathroom mean? If it is blue, does it mean I like to ... umm... This question is just dumb. I am skipping it. Move on... nothing to read here! Besides, I use a jar.
23. HOW MANY KEYS ARE ON YOUR KEY RING? Why? Plan on stealing them and breaking into my home/car? Want to know how much guess work you need inorder to succeed in your sadistic plot? I ain’t telling!
24. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETIRE? In a state of supreme bliss!
25. CAN YOU JUGGLE? IF SO, HOW MANY AT A TIME?? Why is this even asked? I ... does juggling or the ability of being able to juggle mean something? Is it important? Well, if it is important, then yes... I can juggle and three items. So, there!
26. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? I don’t have a favorite day, but my favorite time of the day occurs around 3:30am when I move my ass to bed from in front of the Television and then around 9:06am when I move back to the couch in front of the television.
27. RED OR WHITE WINE? Beer... And, I, on occassion drink both red and white wine... I am fucking cultured, beyotch!
28. WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? I aged one year.
29. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD? I take it you are wanting an organ? You can't have mine! EVER! On second thought, you can have my tonsils. I hear they aren't very useful. I have them in a jar somewhere... let me see where I put them... Ahhh, here they are! Now go away before I taunt you a second time! Later!