HO! HO! HO!

This is a Christmas one! Let's play!

1. Rather get kissed under the mistletoe or in the snow?
I would kill for any condition. Why quibble?

2. Santa or Rudolph?
The Grinch, cus he’s a sly one that Mister Grinch. And if I had three words that would describe him, it would be stink, stank, stunk.

3. Stocking or presents?
I actually need some white stockings, but don’t you dare get that for me as a present. Socks… BORING!

4. Egg nog or Hot cider? Beer.

5. Angel or star? Ostrich.


6. Decorating the tree, or putting lights on the outside? I do both, actually. I’ve been doing lights since I was twelve.


7. Warm cozy fires or sleigh rides? Apple cobbler. And, that, my friends, is nonsensical.


8. Family time or friend time? Time for the lambada! That is also nonsensical. WOO HOO! Two in a row!


9. Expensive presents or presents that come from the heart?

I don’t really need bits of heart. What a sick question.

10. Snow ball fight or snowman?
Snowballs on a snowman… and, that’s rather crude, don’t you think? Sick! Sick! Sick!

11. Coal or present? I once got coal as a present. I laughed. My nephew, taking after his old uncle. Poor kid.


12. Open presents quick or slow?
Slow. I like to watch others first.

13. Diamonds or rubies? Both! Again, why quibble? I mean seriously.

14. Caroling or Christmas stories? I can’t answer this question based on the fact that I can’t think of anything funny. Ummmm…. Christmas… ummmm… damn. DAMN!


15. Snowy days or ice days?
I’ve traveled in both, and they both suck ass.

16. Red or Green? Periwinkle! More nonsense from yours truly!


17. Best present received?
When I was a teen, my sister bought me the Led Zeppelin box set on CD…. I still have it and often listen… “Since the days of my youth, I as told what it means to be a man!!! Ever since that day, I’ve been trying to do the best I can!” Sorry, getting the Led out.

18. What’s the number one thing you want for Christmas? My two front teeth. That’s all I want for Christmas.


19. If you were going out with someone, what would you want them to get you?
Nothing. I’d want nothing. In fact, I’d rather give. I am serious on this one.

20. Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe? No. No, I can’t recall a time where this happened. Sad, really. These questions are depressing. Why? Why must people ask?


21. How early do you get up on Christmas morning? Whenever I feel like it. We do our thing X-mas Eve. It’s a Eastern European thing, and many people have been reminding me about my heritage lately. You know who you are!?!?!?


22. Age you stopped believing in Santa?
What? He’s not real!?! Shit! Then… ummm… Wha? He’s not real? Is that what you are saying, Mr. Game? Oh dear! OH DEAR! I have some shopping to do!

23. Do you send thank you notes?
Nope. I believe I talked about my great communication skills earlier in a post made days ago.

24. Do you think Christmas Eve is the best night of the year?
No, but I think it is damn nice. I like New Years Eve. It’s a time of promise.

25. Is winter your favorite season?
No. I like the fall.

26. Do you like the movie the Grinch?
The Cartoon, oh yes… The movie? Mr. Howard, we need to speak.

27. Are you going anywhere cool this Christmas? Well, if you consider the couch and my ass in it cool? Then, yes, I am.


28. What is your favorite part of Christmas? The music and the lights.

29. Wrapping paper or gift bags? I like wrapping paper, but the old gift bag… I can use those to hide bodies.

30. Real tree or artificial? I don’t really care. I have no preference, other then, trees are trees are trees and both need X-mas lights that I need to do. I’ve been doing them since I was twelve. WRING UP THE LIGHTS!

31. When do you put up the tree? My sister’s answer was pretty cool – she wrote: “I do not. I make my brother do it so it's usually whenever the stupid Illini aren't playing and he's sober. This year, it was Thanksgiving Day.”

32. When do you take the tree down? Hmmm… tree down… Ummmm, after Christmas, I guess. Before Christmas really defeats the purpose of a Christmas tree, doesn’t it?

33. Do you like eggnog? One glass a year is all I drink.

34. Favorite gift received as a child? Let me think… I loved all things Legos, Star Wars, and GI-Joe… But, I did get these 12” superhero figures that I loved. There is a picture of me holding them somewhere. Their legs broke… sniff.

35. Do you have a Nativity scene? I have a nifty scene… picture this….

36. Hardest person to buy for? My dad has everything, so yeah, he’s tough. So is my other sister. She’s tough to buy for on occasion.

37. Easiest person to buy for? ME! I always buy me what I want! How do I know?

38. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? My ex-girlfriend bought me a sweater. Sure, I know what you are thinking, “Joe, that sounds nice!” Wait! Hold on… I told her this story that for like a gazillion years in a row I got sweaters for X-mas. I wear them sometimes… Lately, I have, but I needed to make things in my wardrobe less orange and blue. Anyway, my number one gift would be a sweater every year. And, I don’t really wear them. So, I told her this story. That Christmas, she got me a sweater. …. Erggg… Does anybody listen to me?

39. Mail or email Christmas cards? Me, the great communicator? I think you know the answer to this one.

40 Favorite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Story! You’ll shoot your eye out!

41. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Usually around Thanksgiving or a week before. I am a point-click shopper.

42. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Nope. Well, I did buy myself something, and then forgot about it and found it and gave it to me again. Does that really count?

43. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Whatever I can get my grubby hands on!

44. Clear lights or colored on the tree? I like color lights inside and white lights outside. But, not too many. I believe to make X-mas lights work, simplicity is the way to go.

45.Favorite Christmas song? It’s the Holiday season!! Well, whopp-dee-do.. Who gives a fuck… something … something… Are those the words?

46. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Let’s see… Travel. I travel to the store. I buy some spirits. Then I travel back home to the couch and “admire” the spirits. Travel at Christmas can be fun! ;)

47. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? I don’t know them personally… But, let me see if I can… You know Dodder and Fodder and Blodder and Shiznit… Cupodill and Synder and Hollybirdtree…. Right? Oh, how can I forget Sam!

49. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? We do the Eve thing, cus night time is cool… That, and why wait one more day? Seriously!

50. Most annoying thing about this time of year? I guess it would be the fact that all that work, and it’s done in 24 hours. That’s bullshit!