Nostalgia...

"In the days of my youth
I was told what it was to be a man,
Now I've reached the age
I've tried to do all those things the best I can.
No matter how I try,
I find my way to do the same old jam."

Led Zeppelin...

Two words that meant salvation to a young middle school child looking for something... something beyond the realm of his life.

I owe much to that band. I think if I could choose two words that descrbed my adolescence it would be "Led Zeppelin." I don't know why I even mention it, other then this nostalgic kick I've been on lately. Who was I? Where did I come from? What has brought me here to this moment? Led Zeppelin came barreling into my mind, and I have been humming certain songs. Well, actually most of them. I don't think Zeppelin had a bad one in the bunch. Wait, there is "Down by the Sea Side" ... not a favorite. I abhor "All of My Love", but anway, I think my nostalgic kick was sparked from a conversation I had with somebody from work who once again mentioned my lack of dating. Like it really matters in the grand scheme of things. I said, "I will tell you why I haven't asked anybody out" There are people who are just two curious for their own good, and I am not one who enjoys people prying. I prefer privacy above all else. When I find myself in a situation where I really don't feel like chatting about certain topics. like my love life (of lack thereof), I look for the humorous way out. I said to her, "I keep thinking about this song from my past.... Two guys are sitting around when the conversation begins like this...

Get a load of that chick!"
"Dude -- you gotta ask her out."
"Weellll, I dunno..."
"Look. The worst she can say, is 'No'!"
"Hey! You're right!"
"I'm always right!"
"The worst she can say... is 'No'!"

"Idunnoifyou'vebeennoticingmebutI'vebeennoticingyouand
Iwaswonderingif
you'd like to go out with me!"

Then the girl sings the following:

Oh my God, you little geek!
Get away before I freak! You ugly, stupid, zitfaced scum,
I'm a babe and you are not. You asked me out; you MUST be dumb.
You can't handle what I've got! Well you can beg until you're blue,
I'm too hot, too hot for you.. But you're not even fit to lick my shoe.
I'm too hot, too hot for you.

Ha ha ha! Don't make me laugh!
I want a whole man, not a half. I've got a bitchin' bod and a killer face,
You wet your pants, I'm so sure. I'm God's gift to the male race.
Too bad wimp-itis has no cure. I'm the queen of babes supreme,
I'm too hot, too hot for you. But you'll only see me in your dreams.
I'm too hot, too hot for you.

After all it was said and done, the rejected guy goes back to his friend:

"Well? What'd she say??"
"Well, she didn't say no..."

"I keep hearing that song," I said, "whenever I may have summoned enough courage... I am that guy!" She smiled, and then we had a laugh over it. Personal crisis averted. Privacy left intact. BUT, I began to think about where I had heard that song. Suddenly, as I sat in my living-room trying desperately to find who did that song (Barry and the Bookbinders) and where I had heard it, I found my thoughts in the past when I was a child, about aged 11ish maybe? Things were bad in the Joe household as we had suffered a dramatic change in our lives. As a result, I looked for escapism. You'd be surprised. 11 year-olds can look for escapism. I found, late at night, on the radio (The Loop) Sunday nights, the Dr. Demento Show. He is a disk jockey that plays novelty and funny songs. While people were fast asleep waiting for Monday, I had a small transistor radio craddled to my ear so I could hear humor. One of those was the song above..... Thus the mind of one Joe,began to warp and a young humorist (or so I think) was born. I can see that kid as clear as day. I can hear those songs as if I just heard them. It's hard to describe the experience, but from there sprang a relentless search into all things funny. Of course, Dr. Demento inadvertently turned me onto Led Zeppelin. As I got older, I wanted more musical expression. You can only hear so much novelty shit before you get bored. Dr. D's show, as I mentioned before, was on the Loop. Therefore, my radio dial never really left 97.9. I would turn it on sometimes on other evenings besides Sunday, and wouldn't you know it, The Loop would get the Led out every night at 10. It was three Zep songs in a row... I was hooked. I can't really say who the hero was... Dr. D, who made me laugh, or the Loop for playing both Led Zeppelin, thus jump starting my adolescence, and Dr. D's show... I guess it doesn't matter. They have both left an indelible mark on my persona and made me what I am today... A lunatic with a love for Classic Rock. Later.