A dreadful thought...

occurred to me today. I was talking with a few people at a local bar. The former Pope came up. It was then I realized what a loss! The joke, "What do you call a Polack in a $5,000 hat?" is no longer usable!!!! What a damn shame.

I weeped.

Aside from poorly thought out humor, I thought I would share some insight into the wonderful world of my head. I often don't like to visit there. It's, in the immortal words of Monty Python, " a silly place." Silly indeed.

But, I often ask, "How in the world do I explain myself?

I can't! That's the beauty of it all. I can't explain me! Of course, I have used "Just Joe." Ahhh, the joys of living in my head. It's like a blender. SWISH!!! Everything goes around at blinding puree speeds. I get dizzy just being me. Just to much to consider and too many decisions to make. What will the next chapter of my life hold? I don't care! That's another beauty! Letting the wind blow! Where it stops? Who knows! At present, I have decided to "Cast My Fate to the Wind" as Vince Guaraldi would say. Of course, he didn't say it. He musically represented it. The jazz world lost a great musician the day he died. I take a moment... Okay, anyway, yes... wind... fate.. me... cast.. yes, I have decided to cast my fate to the wind (he writes as he hears the first piano chords to a great musical song).

I have never really been at this type of crossroad in my life. It is really a scary prospect. And, I ask myself this question, "Now what?" Seriously, now what? What do I do? I have completed some long-term goals. I remember when it all started years ago on a cot in my niece's bedroom. I remember sitting there thinking to myself, "How do I get off this cot?" Never had I been so humbled. What a humiliating position to be in. But, that was then. At this present juncture, this is the first time I have been able to ask, "Joe, what is it that you want?" I pause. The voice again began, "Joe, seriously, forget about what others want, but what do you want?" I have finally been put in a position to to actually make a decision or decisions that I can make that are for me! ME!!! I can be self-fish. Over the holidays, I just sat there. That's when Vince spoke to me. I was shuffling music on my iPod when I heard him speak. The first few chords filled my ears... "Cast Your Fate to the Wind"... "Cast Your Fate to the Wind"... "Cast Your Fate to the Wind".... Actually, it was more of a dooo daaaa dooo daaaa dooo daaaa middle plunk... higher plunk... lower plunk....then more and more plunks in musical rhythm. Well you get the picture. "You're right, Vince!" And, casting I shall. Time to hoist the sails and see where the wind blows. Of course the winds are blowing rather hard at the window, but I am dealing with metaphor. Anyway, ... nah, I think I am done. Of course, when one chooses to cast fate, hard decisions have to be made. But, man, am I ready!

Thanks, Vince.

And, thank you wind.

and, thank the Academy.