Lima Bean!!!

Puts the "Fun" in Funny...

Oh, I wish that my subject were true... But, I can’t say that. My antics are legendary in my own mind. But, at least I am legend somewhere, I guess. We can’t always have it the way we want it. We can’t always get what we want... But, as the Stones say, "You can always get what you need." As far as I am concerned, the Stones were on some acid trip when they coined that little gem of wisdom. Get what you need? What the hell? I swear, Jagger... If I ever meet you, I sure as hell will give you what you need. A few choice words from this fellow.... That will show him! Get what you "need"... Who the hell are you kidding!?!?!

Okay, don’t know where that came from. I never really thought about his lyrics until this moment in time. I throw it out to people as some flippant response to their "oh woah is me’s" It sounds good. Makes people happy. I sound cool because I know a Stones lyric. There are times where I just don’t have the wisdom. I can only listen and nod. It comes in handy for lack of responses. Maybe that is something I can do... and that is come up with better, more from the heart, responses. There are times Dylan, the Stones, Led Zeppelin... Pink Floyd... they just don’t work. It needs to come from the heart... I want it to come from the heart....

Needs... Needs... Needs... What are my needs? What do I need? Jagger says I can always get what I need. Perhaps he is right. However, we must know what we need in order to get what we need. On some level he is right. I need to go to sleep. In a few minutes I will get that need when my head hits that pillow....I hope. Most nights I actually lay there for an enternity wondering if some ghost people will suck me into the closet and I can only talk through the television (oh, wow... a Poltergiest reference. How lame! That’s where you KNOW I’ve used up any witicism... especially since I am attacking, for no reason, a pretty fucking good Stones song... Joe... Joe... Joe... SHAME!!!) I also need $20 so I can eat lunch for the week. I will go to the cash station in the morning and get that need. So, yeah, perhaps Jagger is right. I actually WANT $40... I don’t have $40... I just need $20. I can get what I need. I also want a water bed, but I have my bed, which is all that I need. So, yeah, on that level, I guess Jagger has a point.

But, on metaphysical levels, I am not sure what it is I need. I guess I just want what we all want... happiness, stablity, comfort. Three simple needs, I think. I have none of it! So, fuck you Jagger!!! Wait, there are times I am very happy. Like yesterday, for example, I was happy to be driving with the iPod up and down I-55. It’s an opportunity to just listen to my library of music and have remeberances that each song represents... For example, I heard a Jewel song. I had the following rememberance: "What the hell is that doing on my iPod? Jewel???? I don’t remember ever getting that song! What the hell was I thinking???" Yes, a wonderful reminescene of my days of youth. Then I heard the following: "Hmmm... ’The Homecoming Queen has Got a Gun’." (an 80’s novelty classic)... and I suddenly remembered the following: "I don’t remember high school. But, I am sure, the homecomig queen in my day would probably have wanted us all dead, too." Another trip down memory lane, I tell you. I felt so ALIVE!!!! I jest of course, I really do use the music to jar loose any sort of memory that may be associated... I use that stuff for fodder to be used at later dates, like when somebody needs some inspiration! But, I also like the time to be one with my thoughts and just ponder. I had a numerlogy done the other week, and it actually said, "You are a thinker... an intellectual. You need private time for exploration and thought." I was like, "WOW!!! Thanks for telling me something I already knew! You psychic folks are fantastic! I am so enlightened!!" But, yeah, I was happy... the stable part? Not so much. The comfort part... working on it. But, it’s been a struggle, and I don’t think I am getting what I need. So, yeah, Fuck You, Jagger!

Heh... Boy oh boy do I wield the bullshit like nobody’s business... Sometimes, like the above, I like to put some things down just so I can look at it and say, "Wow! That came from your head? Dude! That... well... you’re full of shit, buddy, but there are some funny parts." I love to throw out the cynical just to amuse myself... I hope you’re amused, too... But seriously, deep down, I’m a warm, gushy Lima bean!

Prost!