Miss Me?

I am not sure exactly why...

BUT, I think it is because if it doesn’t, then there could be chaos. If you don’t understand what I am talking about, I don’t blame you. Neither do I.... These past few sentences are merely a trick I use to get into a writing mode. I use this trick often to jump start a creative process. I don’t have any ideas...so, I need the jump start. Oh, I have wonderful ideas when I am NO WHERE NEAR THIS COMPUTER!!! Oh, the things I have written in my head would have dazzled you! Would have compelled you! Would have cause jubilation, mirth, merriment, and forced you to pee in your pants because they are soooo damn funny. When I have these thoughts, I laugh outloud and say, "I need to get that down! I need that idea out there! That joke is just too good!" After my daily adventure or mis-adventure (you know, it depends), I turn on the computer. I get excited... I open up the blog window... I sit at the computer (this should’ve come before the "blog window" part and after "turn on the computer part" ...fyi) and... well, nothing. No thoughts. No compulsion...no dazzlement...no jubilation...no mirth... no merriment... and I bet you don’t have to pee. Stumped... Ideas gone forever on some backwards road or living-room sofa. Nothing! Ideas vanished.... And, I sit staring at the blog window hoping for some of that inspiration... Instead, like for example, like right now, I hear a car alarm going off below and think, "That is a really loud sound. I hope it isn’t my car going off like that." Worth mentioning? Is that funny? Is that even a bit interesting? No... It isn’t going to be written down. Well... you know... It isn’t worth mentioning... okay, so I mentioned it. Big deal! You caught me. I was trying to be clever.. .yeah...yeah... not clever. I know... I know... But, that’s the point of all these words written in no apparent order or written for understanding... I am not clever... anymore... GONE! Out the window! I now need to use clever writing devices so I can get words out in a blog that happens to be this long now. I have come to the point where I need jump starts to express myself. It never used to be like this. Prior to the last few weeks, I could come up with things off the cuff...without any moments hesitation. It becomes April, and I am a creative zombie. "Killlll jjjjoooyyyyy!" I say in a zombie like voice. "Killllll jjjjooooyyyyyy!"" and, then I might say, "brains!" However, I am not sure how that would work into all of this non-creative mess. "Brains!" doesn’t work, other then, to stress the point that I have turned, or my brain has turned, into a zombie like artifice that isn’t creative nor clever. It’s a tangled mess from a mind that has recently started to fail me. I guess I am in need of a new brain. I need a fresh, crisp, new brain. I need one that won’t forget the great diatribes I have in my car. OR, maybe I should start writing in my car... the place where I have most of my revelations. My car... a Chevy Malibu that I inherited from my grandfather when he couldn’t drive it anymore. Yes, the Joemobile... a dirty mess that needs a good cleaning. Living in an apartment really prevents that. I need a hose... a very large, industrial vacuum... a cord for said vacuum, and time. Then, maybe I can find said car and have even better moments of brain related greatness! Oh chariot, my car! I’ve lived in you for hours and hours thus far! I think in your seat...which is very neat... How I love thee, Chevy! Gray mess...needs oil.

Anyway, I think I shall go out... Pretty upset that today’s excitement was buying that bag of gummy candy. Sad... so sad.