The Four Horsemen

Incidents at work today brought me shame. There really was no reason for the dismal failure. Half a brain cell is all they needed. ONLY HALF A BRAIN CELL... This incident got me to thinking. We're doomed. I mean we are really doomed. We are headed for the Armageddon. It's over. I have come to believe that the end of the world is nigh. The apathy people show toward their work makes me shudder in fear for the future. For brief moments this afternoon, I wanted to move to Canada. Let me stress "brief moments." They passed quickly. Seriously, Canada? I am sure that things aren't that good there, mainly because there are so many Canadians walking around our country, in disguise... . If they want to leave their country to come here, this trend for failure must be universal. After my thought of a Canadian excursion was shot down by other thoughts, I thought of a list a friend of mine started to compile to prove that we are only a few moments short of the Apocalypse. This was a few years back. I can hardly remember what he had on there. I laughed at it. I added a couple items to his list, and sadly I can't remember what those were either. I think one item was "Leaf Blowers"... Anyway, I thought I would quickly write down ten items that prove that we are doomed. They aren't well thought out because of time constraints, but here we go...

10 QUICK Not Well Thought out Signs We Are Doomed by Joe

1. Leaf Blowers

2. References to "McDreamy" and "McSteamy" resulting from a hackneyed television show staring shitty talent. "Gray's Anatomy"? PUHLEEZE!!!

3. A new study has revealed that a mother's overuse of the cellphone (from baby in the womb to baby being seven) causes behavioral issues in the child.

4. Cell phones in general and the belief that we must constantly be in communication with each other, and people faking it in order to look popular. That's just fucked up. This is a perfect off shoot from those fake beepers people used to wear to look important. That... THAT WAS DUMB!

5. Internet TEXT language is starting to become a viable form of communication in most formal settings. "I Luv U...LOL!!!" AND, now people are beginning to talk that way. "Hey, Joe! You suck! ROFL." Sigh

6. Cheese sauce

7. The new socially acceptable trend to make segments of the population evil because they don't believe in what you believe or do what you do. For example, Republicans, Smokers, Fat People, People who aren't very green, Priests, In Chicago - people who drink bottled water, SUV drivers, Rich People, Church goers, and sadly the list does go on.

8. The idea that if you drink wine, you are better then everybody else.

9. People who feel the need to bring ferrets and pythons to outdoor events in order to look cool. Who the fuck do they think they are kidding?

10. Our culture's over obsession with the Hollywood elite. If I hear one more thing about Bradjalina or Brittany Spears... Or Paris Hilton... I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD!!!

10a. People who commit acts of evil or do things wrong suddenly become rich and famous... in other words, our culture's need to reward bad behavior - Example: Kobe Bryant, The Runaway Bride, Paris Hilton.

Yup, we're doomed. However, I feel that maybe I am too negative. So, here is another attempt at optimistic thoughts that maybe it isn't as bad as it seems:

10 QUICK Signs That Things Will Be Okay by Joe

1. Leaf Blowers

2. Moon Pies

3. Real Cheese

4. Led Zeppelin

5. Knock! Knock! Jokes

6. ummmm.... ummm..... Me? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA... anyway, ummmm... Flowers? Sure, pretty flowers (gag).

7. Gunniess... and other fine beers everywhere!

8. Simple acts of kindness

9. Conversation Hearts

10. That old lady that talks about sex on that one cable channel.

So, there you have it... my quickly written lists. Now, you decide how it's going... Doomed? Not doomed? Cheese sauce sucks ass and doesn't belong on any food? Real Cheese rocks? Leaf Blowers? Is there anything more futile or is it a convenience device that makes life simpler? Joe is an ass? Doesn't matter... The point is, let's just go drink this off.

Prost!