Joe's Weekend Wrap-up...
The journey back, though boring as usual, caught me a little off guard. I didn't realize how much the Dan Ryan construction was going to suck things up. I had to actually wait in a traffic jam on an early Sunday afternoon in an attempt to return to the Chicagoland Area. All I wanted to do was get on to I-294 from 80... Eventually this happened... BUT, not as quickly or as efficiently as I had hoped, and I had other concerns as well, which should become evident upon further reading... In hindsight, I should've taken the local roads... This didn't occur to me because, being in the area of Chicagoland I am located, the Dan Ryan really doesn't affect me. I was wrong! It did. Fuck you, IDOT.
Anyway, here is what I learned this weekend:
1) Something is wrong with the brakes on my car or something in the front wheel region. I need to go to a mechanic. It sounds like metal on metal... and... well... I bet $2000 in repairs, because I am that lucky.
2) 14% Dopplebocks, though good to drink, fuck you right from the first sip. This shit I had? It packed a wallop so hard, I ... I was in a daze for a couple hours. I talked to the piano guy, Paul at the Blind Pig, as if I had known him since I was two. Paul seemed annoyed. BUT, Not after that nice tip I left him.. Now, this beer had a very interesting blurb on the menu. It is brewed once a year on the same date (December 6th) and aged for one year before serving. Being a bock, I knew it would have a caramel flavor on the semi-sweet side... Boy, was it good. The flavor was constant throughout... The Alcohol??? The beer is quoted on the label: "One of the strongest beers in the world." I guess there is some truth in advertising. Would I have it again? Hell yeah! It also says, "The world's most extrodinary beer." For those not in marketing and advertising, that is called "puffery" and is a legal statement... Don't ask for details. This isn't class.***
3) Baggy clothing make people look bigger. This pretty much makes 90% of my wardrobe utter crap! Just add one more thing to the "Joe is socially unacceptable" list.... Errrgggg! It also appears that hoody sweatshirts tend to make people look this way... Those are really the only type I wear. So FUCK to that! I can't win in anything I do! :' (
4) Asian people have no trouble showering with each other. I won't get into details, but it made for an interesting story to listen too.
5) Artists have a tendency to work in wine shops. That man who served me? A musical artist. So, this place served lunch. I figure, what the hell! I can be trendy! I entered the wine boutique and I had some lunch. I must say, they made a damn fine Reuben. I also had my self a Bemish Dry Irish Stout (Yeah, I know...beer in a wine shop. Well, that is me). It really complimented the Reuben. AND, Wine in a box, it appears, is more becoming socially acceptable. So, for you fans of ... What's that brand? Ummmm... That brand that is in box (Franzia and some others from what I can tell), don't fret. You aren't a loser! As for the artist bartender guy? He was guitarist with his own record company. He has one CD and 15 songs that are almost ready. We were chit chatting and shit... He like my jokes. That's one!
6) I have many objects in my wardrobe that are orange based...I thought this bizarre behavior of mine, to buy things from my alma mater, started to make me look like quite the dork... BUT, no worries... "It's never boring in orange!" At least that's what I thought my friends said. Actually, she said something else..She actually said, "It's never boring in college"... I thought she said orange... College rhymes with orange doesn't it? But, no matter... As far as I am concerned, it is never boring in orange! That's my new mantra! So, fuck you and your opinions... It's never boring in orange... NEVER! Sometimes... Well, no! It's not! ORANGE = COOL = JOE... Yeah, so yeah!
7) Brakes are very important to cars.
8) Cats love plants. Cats eat plants. Cats make messes with plants.
9) Never take me into a beer store... That is at least going to cost me $60 I don't have. I did find a bottle of Sam Adams Chocolate Bock... That is some good stuff. I plan to drink it the moment I figure out what the hell I am going to do the rest of my life.
10) Midas is not open on Sunday's which means that the brakes on my car have to wait... I am not going anywhere... Brakes... Cars... important.
11) I thought I woke up at 9:30am this morning... Surprise! It was actually 10:30am! That really screwed up my day! You have no idea! I have determined that I don't like Daylight Savings Time... and it is sneaky to sneak up on my like that. Bastard!
12) Grocery stores rarely sell Combos... So, if you have a taste for pretzels wrapped around processed cheese food? You are going to have to get that at a gas station.
I almost forgot these!!! How could I be so foolish! I even wrote the next two down on my note coaster (note coaster: beer sampling notes) so I wouldn't ever forget it:
13) willfulness is not attractive... Again, yet another reason I am socially unacceptable. I am extremely willful... Yup! Stubborn! I am very, very, very stubborn.
14) When I am drunk, I should just shut-up!
This one I learned this morning at breakfast:
15) When I am sober, I should just shut-up!
And finally,
16) Don't eat Combos and then taste wine.. DON'T! Trust me on that.
I learned many lessons this weekend... I feel so much more wise and better about myself?
*** The once strongest beer in the world is back ! Brewed only once a year on December 6. Samichlaus is aged for 10 months before bottling. This beer is perhaps the rarest in the world. Samichlaus may be aged for many years to come. Older vintages become more complex with a creamy warming finish. Serve with hardy robust dishes and desserts, particulary with chocolates, or as an after dinner drink by itself.
2 Comments:
The walk from Midas Muffler this morning was rather brutal... Another wonderful start to another week.... Heh..
Ahh... It gets better... I guess when they say brakes are only good for 50,000, they aren't kidding. 50,000 miles, almost on the nose and the system is hosed!!!! *Sigh* The good news, he gave me a deal on tires. The bad news? I still need to go to the dealership for a tune and a recall part.
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