Just a Good Story: Best of Part III

One more "best of." I then promise to come up with something original, if I can. This one is an amusing story, at least I think so. I just wanted to share it again....It's a good example of the stupid shit that happens to me on a routine basis. I hope you all have a wonderful day.

It is from last June.

"Jerry's dead, Baby. Jerry's dead...."

Every once in awhile, we like to stick our foots in our mouth. I always eat mine. I love my foot. YUM! With my foot and my pride, I am well nourished. The foot? Let's face it, the damn things ARE tasty. Such was the case with a bar drinking binge last Friday night. My friends and I decided to drink. We do that on occasion. It was around 4:00pm when I started drinking heavily. By 8:00pm, I was a little tad buzzed, well, maybe more like pissed. So, at the bar around 8:00 pm a group of people walk in and stand around in a large circle and begin talking about and toasting Jerry. Being drunk, my group was a tad inquisitive about the goings on. Why the hell would anybody stand in a large circle and toast people during peak drinking hours with me and my group nearby while we had been drinking the special a whole lot? Wouldn’t you want to know what was going on? Surely this would perk curiosity. And, it did. So, somebody in our group asks, "What's going on?" Somebody says, "I hear it is a retirement party." ... I go up to the bar for another round and ask the bartender, "Hey, what's going on?" I don’t like making guesses. If anybody should know, the bartender should, right? He should! That’s his job! The bartender mumbled something (or I was a little drunk to give to shits what he said… I am sure that is more it) which I interpreted as some University Administration party that was possibly toasting a retirement for this Jerry guy they kept mentioning. So, perhaps the retirement story is a bit true. But, everybody looked rather young. But, that doesn’t matter. I deferred to the wisdom of the bartender. So, I return to the group with the full beers (yeah!) and announce my findings. Shortly after my arrival, the circle group toasts Jerry! "To Jerry!" they yell. We are not once to miss an opportunity to toast joined. "To Jerry!" we yell! And, we continue to harass this "Jerry" guy for a few more toasts and retorts that we did...Well, we sort of went on our own. The circle of Jerry Folks? They were done toasting it appears. They were finished. We, being drunk, decided to beat the dead horse over and over and over and over for hours, days, minutes! Dead horses are so much fun to beat. This lady in the circle group turns to us and says, "Jerry passed away!" ...And, she wasn’t very nice about it either? Can you believe that? Well, I, for one, being of Roman Catholic origin, was a bit, well, I was like, "OH!!! I am so sorry!" ...AND, the Catholic guilt raged. And, I was embarrassed and sad. Poor Jerry... So, what did we do? We made even more Jerry Jokes the rest of the night. Catholic guilt be damned! I didn't feel really bad until I heard he was a young guy who unexpectedly passed away. And, several members of the school community were a tad upset... which is understandable. OOPS! I didn’t find out until I read the school newspaper a few days later. Anyway, to you, Jerry! TO YOU! Anyway, folks, I think I shall stop here a little more often not that I finished up my beginning... So expect some more Joe wit and banter and odes to Jerry! Here's to you, Jerry! *Gulp*