WANT TO HEAR A STORY??? (Part one).
Want To Hear A Story?
There are things in life that I have already accepted or have just begun to accept…
First, I realized that I am not physically attractive. What can you say? I was born with Neanderthal genes. I don’t blame my relatives. I’m just a freak. I move on.
Second, nothing ever…ever…ever comes easy. There is always a struggle… ALWAYS, and I am not often times successful with my plans. However, no plan is a good plan without a contingency plan. I am always planning and re-planning. CONSTANTLY!
Third, I will never get what I want… This goes with my second point above.
Finally, I have… what was called by friends, relatives, and myself as “THE JOE FACTOR”…. It’s that dark cloud that follows me… causes some pretty bad luck. There was a time where I left earlier than most for appointments in order to compensate for hitting every single, damn, fucking red-light. I am … how should… it… Friends notice my bad luck, folks. If people notice the constant bullshit that surrounds me, then I know that there is something to this “Joe Factor”…. The thing about the “Joe Factor” is it comes in massive waves, like the wave I am currently surfboarding… Then, for a couple months, I don’t have any luck… It’s what I call “Status Quo.” So, either I have bad luck or not luck at all. That’s the “Joe Factor.” The “Joe Factor” is pretty much at the heart and foundation of the following tale… sit back, relax, maybe grab a cold one, and enjoy the bullshit that is my life… I call this story:
I didn’t see it coming… I wish I did, but my guess is if I did see it coming, then I probably wouldn’t have had as much fun as I did because I would’ve known about my new “freakishness,” and therefore already living my new found, forced upon me, pious lifestyle. I’m adjusting, but I still find that I have hang-ups… and feelings of “THIS IS UTTER BULLSHIT! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!” when I discover new foods I can’t eat, or get phone calls from friends that have been drinking having a great time, and I am stuck … at home… on the couch… sober… seeing the world as it truly is…unable to hide behind that fake curtain that alcohol (and smoking) were able to provide for me…. This week has been chaotic…. And I have NOTHIING… NOTHING to help dull the pain. All I have is my stubbornness… and mission to move forward at all costs no matter what…. You know what? I’ve avoided making plans in order to avoid drinking situations…. I am not ready for that. This week, I’ve wanted to quit my job, pack up me shit, and move out of the armpit of Central Illinois. I want a fresh start… and just… you see… basically, I am having adjustment issues. I’ve had them since I returned to central Illinois… and, it’s been hard. Yeah, I know, life is hard… I don’t want to hear it… Yeah.. yeah… lucky… lucky… I feel like I am in a prison now… being punished for GOD knows what… AND, the feelings of loneliness that have suddenly surfaced because of all of this mess known as my “health” issue… It doesn’t help.. Oh, starting to digress… focusing…focusing…
Yes, I really can’t drink anymore because of health issues and genetic factors. But, before I knew this, I had purchased tickets to a beer fest in Racine, WI. I’d been to that one last year. I threw a restaurant beeper into Lake Michigan while attending… Good times… Good times. Anyway, I had planned to just eat the $30.00 I spent on the ticket, and just not go. Seriously, why torture myself and be around drunkards when I can only take an occasional sip? After some thought, I told my friends that I would be the Designated Driver. I wanted to be a good sport. I also decided to make this my final, last beer fest… I called it “an end to an era” adventure… A good-bye, closure type thing, at least to this aspect of my life… While the door is not fully closed to my “beer” hobby… as I will keep it open a crack… my drinking days are pretty much over. … sniff.. So, last Friday night, I trekked Northwards to Chicagoland to be a “good sport.” It was raining. I learned on that drive that I still have smoke residue on my windshield… and it was causing fogging issues… that got old real quick… I made it to Chicago without incident…..
Saturday morning was rather bleak looking the moment I woke up. I could sense from the meager light from the window that it was raining outside. I turned off the alarm, and had my first thought of the day. “Shit! This beer fest could really, really suck instead of sucking with this rain. FUCK!” That thought sets our tone.
I showered and prepared to go have my hair cut. I never found a hair cutting specialist around here, where I live. I am up North often enough, so I decided to just keep that hair cutter type person. It began pouring as I left the front door. It poured rain as I drove. It poured rain as I ran into the barber shop. It stopped as soon as I took a seat in the barber’s chair. I like this shop because it has a female barber working along two males. It’s an oddity, therefore I like it. It’s like having a Female bassist in a rock band… unique and cool. She gets to be the lucky barber this time that cuts me hair. We chat about our weekend plans. “I’m going to Racine for a beer fest,” I say. Soon we are talking about beer. She mentions the weather. “It must of rained really hard,” she said. “Several roads on the way to work started to flood. In fact, the parking lot here was flooded.” We both look out the window. “It looks pretty good now,” she said. I think it was that moment it began to rain again. Her job is done. I paid her and I left…. Only to halt at the curb as I looked at my car…in the pouring rain… sitting in the parking lot…which began flooding…again… My car was sitting in a about a half-foot of water. “Damn!” I scowl. I take my shoes off and wade out to the island that was my car. Yes, I was wet, but my car moved out of the lake that was the parking lot just fine. “I need rain-gear,” I say to myself. It was off to Meijer I went. …
Emergency Vehicles passed me on Lake Street. I didn’t think much of it until I rounded that bend and looked ahead of me. Water began pouring into the street from some nearby water reservoir. The Emergency Vehicles began to situation themselves on the roadway to prevent traffic from going further. Luckily I got through, but those behind me weren’t so lucky. “I will have to find another way back to my sister’s house,” I say to myself. Meijer was empty. I could hear the pouring rain pelting the roof. It was then I wondered if the adventure to Racine, Wisconsin was really a good idea….
TO BE CONTINUED…
There are things in life that I have already accepted or have just begun to accept…
First, I realized that I am not physically attractive. What can you say? I was born with Neanderthal genes. I don’t blame my relatives. I’m just a freak. I move on.
Second, nothing ever…ever…ever comes easy. There is always a struggle… ALWAYS, and I am not often times successful with my plans. However, no plan is a good plan without a contingency plan. I am always planning and re-planning. CONSTANTLY!
Third, I will never get what I want… This goes with my second point above.
Finally, I have… what was called by friends, relatives, and myself as “THE JOE FACTOR”…. It’s that dark cloud that follows me… causes some pretty bad luck. There was a time where I left earlier than most for appointments in order to compensate for hitting every single, damn, fucking red-light. I am … how should… it… Friends notice my bad luck, folks. If people notice the constant bullshit that surrounds me, then I know that there is something to this “Joe Factor”…. The thing about the “Joe Factor” is it comes in massive waves, like the wave I am currently surfboarding… Then, for a couple months, I don’t have any luck… It’s what I call “Status Quo.” So, either I have bad luck or not luck at all. That’s the “Joe Factor.” The “Joe Factor” is pretty much at the heart and foundation of the following tale… sit back, relax, maybe grab a cold one, and enjoy the bullshit that is my life… I call this story:
SATURDAY!
I didn’t see it coming… I wish I did, but my guess is if I did see it coming, then I probably wouldn’t have had as much fun as I did because I would’ve known about my new “freakishness,” and therefore already living my new found, forced upon me, pious lifestyle. I’m adjusting, but I still find that I have hang-ups… and feelings of “THIS IS UTTER BULLSHIT! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!” when I discover new foods I can’t eat, or get phone calls from friends that have been drinking having a great time, and I am stuck … at home… on the couch… sober… seeing the world as it truly is…unable to hide behind that fake curtain that alcohol (and smoking) were able to provide for me…. This week has been chaotic…. And I have NOTHIING… NOTHING to help dull the pain. All I have is my stubbornness… and mission to move forward at all costs no matter what…. You know what? I’ve avoided making plans in order to avoid drinking situations…. I am not ready for that. This week, I’ve wanted to quit my job, pack up me shit, and move out of the armpit of Central Illinois. I want a fresh start… and just… you see… basically, I am having adjustment issues. I’ve had them since I returned to central Illinois… and, it’s been hard. Yeah, I know, life is hard… I don’t want to hear it… Yeah.. yeah… lucky… lucky… I feel like I am in a prison now… being punished for GOD knows what… AND, the feelings of loneliness that have suddenly surfaced because of all of this mess known as my “health” issue… It doesn’t help.. Oh, starting to digress… focusing…focusing…
Yes, I really can’t drink anymore because of health issues and genetic factors. But, before I knew this, I had purchased tickets to a beer fest in Racine, WI. I’d been to that one last year. I threw a restaurant beeper into Lake Michigan while attending… Good times… Good times. Anyway, I had planned to just eat the $30.00 I spent on the ticket, and just not go. Seriously, why torture myself and be around drunkards when I can only take an occasional sip? After some thought, I told my friends that I would be the Designated Driver. I wanted to be a good sport. I also decided to make this my final, last beer fest… I called it “an end to an era” adventure… A good-bye, closure type thing, at least to this aspect of my life… While the door is not fully closed to my “beer” hobby… as I will keep it open a crack… my drinking days are pretty much over. … sniff.. So, last Friday night, I trekked Northwards to Chicagoland to be a “good sport.” It was raining. I learned on that drive that I still have smoke residue on my windshield… and it was causing fogging issues… that got old real quick… I made it to Chicago without incident…..
Saturday morning was rather bleak looking the moment I woke up. I could sense from the meager light from the window that it was raining outside. I turned off the alarm, and had my first thought of the day. “Shit! This beer fest could really, really suck instead of sucking with this rain. FUCK!” That thought sets our tone.
I showered and prepared to go have my hair cut. I never found a hair cutting specialist around here, where I live. I am up North often enough, so I decided to just keep that hair cutter type person. It began pouring as I left the front door. It poured rain as I drove. It poured rain as I ran into the barber shop. It stopped as soon as I took a seat in the barber’s chair. I like this shop because it has a female barber working along two males. It’s an oddity, therefore I like it. It’s like having a Female bassist in a rock band… unique and cool. She gets to be the lucky barber this time that cuts me hair. We chat about our weekend plans. “I’m going to Racine for a beer fest,” I say. Soon we are talking about beer. She mentions the weather. “It must of rained really hard,” she said. “Several roads on the way to work started to flood. In fact, the parking lot here was flooded.” We both look out the window. “It looks pretty good now,” she said. I think it was that moment it began to rain again. Her job is done. I paid her and I left…. Only to halt at the curb as I looked at my car…in the pouring rain… sitting in the parking lot…which began flooding…again… My car was sitting in a about a half-foot of water. “Damn!” I scowl. I take my shoes off and wade out to the island that was my car. Yes, I was wet, but my car moved out of the lake that was the parking lot just fine. “I need rain-gear,” I say to myself. It was off to Meijer I went. …
Emergency Vehicles passed me on Lake Street. I didn’t think much of it until I rounded that bend and looked ahead of me. Water began pouring into the street from some nearby water reservoir. The Emergency Vehicles began to situation themselves on the roadway to prevent traffic from going further. Luckily I got through, but those behind me weren’t so lucky. “I will have to find another way back to my sister’s house,” I say to myself. Meijer was empty. I could hear the pouring rain pelting the roof. It was then I wondered if the adventure to Racine, Wisconsin was really a good idea….
TO BE CONTINUED…
posted by "Just" Joe at 8:22 PM
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