Does anybody know where I put that goddamn computer cable?

Does anybody know where I put that goddamn computer cable?I looked over there! I looked over here. I looked over hill and dell. I even looked under that thing!!! Where is that damn computer cable? Do you know?

I KNEW IT!!!!!

Babysitting...

My toddler niece has got to be... she's....ummmm... The kid is a monster. There is no other way to describe her. You can't contain her. You can't reason with her. You can't stop her. And, she will continue to be a monster until you are dead! DEAD! DEAD! (Speaking of, she just hit me!). As with most children, she can't amuse herself. So, she spends her time doing what she isn't supposed to be doing (like hitting me, pushing buttons on my keyboard, and trying to grab the mouse from my hand) to get attention. Thing is, I have been doing some important paper work and can't give her the constant attention she craves. Now she is to my left trying to bang on my sister's lap-top. So, yeah, it is about boundaries. You have to set them boundaries and you have to be the asshole to do it. You have to fight against the "cute" and realize that this is a child. They need boundaries for learning purposes. You have to be the asshole. How else will she learn? So, the girl tests them over and over and over again. Just now, she stared at me and continued to try and bang on the other lap-top. I looked at her, gave her a stern warning, and she just stared at me and continued to test and test and test and test and test and test and test and test and, yup, test. SO, I stood up as I glared. As soon as I did that, she ran to the safety of the living-room. We've been playing these "games" now for two hours. I've got nothing done (except come here and try to mold this adventure into a good read. I sound rather perturbed instead... DAMN!) Hang on, now she is in a cabinet she isn't supposed to be... Now, she is back in time out because she lost this bout of the "stare down" game. SHE'S A MONSTER I TELL YOU! Other then that, life in the gameroom continues to mosey along. My adventures outside have been few and far between making it hard to find fodder to lampoon or discuss. Memorial Day weekend will be no different. Hi dee do dee the family life for me? I guess it is better then no life? If I don't get a chance, please have a safe and wonderful start to the summer season. YEE HA! It's her nap time! I get to put her behind "bars!" Who ever invented the crib? SSSSAAAAALLLLLLUUUUUTTTTTEEEE!

Bills! Bills! Bills!

Everybody wants my bills for their bills because "they" claim that I bought stuff that needed bills... THE NERVE!


I hate this time of month! HATE IT! Now I am broke. *Sniff*

This process repeats and repeats and repeats.

How are you all doing? Can I have $10?

Traffic Blows...up!

Today, and I believe the oddest damn thing, but there were FOUR car fires today. I was heading into the Shitty and there they were... three cars burning away (but, not near each other. One was here and the other was over there. The third one was WAY up yonder)! And, on the way back from the shitty there was one more. Odd. I wonder if there is something in the drinking water. Oh, better yet, I guess there was bad CARma! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAAAA!!!! Ummm, yeah, I think I am going to bed...

Armed and Dangerous!

I admit it. I own a gun. I have a .22 caliber rifle for use up at the summer home. I haven't shot anything with it other then a couple of beer cans full of sand that had it coming. After 50 shots, I finally nailed both the little bastards. I never thought of myself as being a gun owner. In general I hate the idea of arming oneself, but it was necessary for reasons that I won't bore you with. Okay, I have the gun for critter population control. We have a problem with critters and damage to our summer home. I had to make a choice, and after at least $10,000 damage to the building, not to mention damage to automobiles, the choice was clear. I honestly try not to use the damn gun if I can avoid it. And for you animal activists out there, I almost apologize for my choice. But, I do have a story I could tell, but this isn't the blog for such a tale. This blog is of another type of weapon. "What?" you ask. "What are you talking about?" I am not talking of my .22 caliber rifle that is hardly used and safely hidden, secured, and locked up away from the prying hands of children. No, I am talking about another type of weapon more lethal then any .22 caliber rifle.... Squirt guns.... I don't know what possessed me to buy them. I was just going into Walgreens for some Arizona Ice Tea (I love the peach flavored one) and ended up buying an arsenal of squirt guns to be used for summer "fun." I bought a pack of smaller ones and two "It can shoot 25 feet!" larger ones with "grip pumping action!" I think I was doped up on Arizona Ice tea to actually think this was a good idea. That had to be it! Why else would I set, not only myself, but the entire family up to an onslaught of cold water death? "Well, Joe, based on your blog entries, you are just plain crazy! That's why you did it. Don't blame Arizona Ice Tea. That's is such a nice tasty brand of ice tea goodness." Keep your opinions to yourself, because it had to be the tea. Anyway, I thought the weapons had been secured in the garage, and to be used on a nice warm summer day by the kids. I was wrong. My nephew discovered them in the garage and decided it would be a good idea to sneak the "25 foot" shooter out of the garage and fill it up with water in the back. I was unaware. Neither was my sister. We had been outside with the toddler niece enjoying the chilled, but great sunny day. After chasing the little one around a lot, we decided to settle her down and have a beer on the front stoop. The neighbor from across the street came over to join us. We were conversing, have a good time, when all of sudden, from behind came a sharp stream of "grip pumping action" that nailed us all. My nephew stood giggling and my neighbor decided to retaliate. Next thing you know all the guns came out and the war began..... The baby niece decided she doesn't like squirt guns. I don't blame her. Who likes getting hit in the head with a stream of properly aimed water? We tried to teach her to shoot a little gun I bought specifically for her use. She just couldn't figure out how to work the thing. She would just point it and sometimes shoot herself (cus held it backward); that is if she could actually squeeze the trigger. I held her close and helped her aim and fire. She liked that... BUT, Sadly, after three squirts, the thing was empty. We were sitting ducks.... After a barrage of cold water leading to tears on her part, we safely secured her to the stoop while the battle raged in the front yard. And, yes, I pulled a nasty and sucker squirted her... I am a bad, bad uncle. The battle finally ended when I realized, "DANG! I'm COLD!" Okay, that's not true. The battle ended when I remembered that I had a half drunk bottle of Heninken sitting. There are priorities. As things died down, I found myself drenched. Not one part of my body had escaped the lethal blows of water. I couldn't see because my glasses were spotted. My ball cap was dripping from the rim. I was once again cold and wet through and through and began reliving the pains I suffered last weekend up North. My sister had to go inside to get a jacket as she trembled with wet (she wasn't as wounded). My neighbor ran home to complete his outside tasks uncomfortably, and my toddler niece is now extremly afraid of water and anything that resembles a water gun. But, we did nail the nephew good. Needless to say, I will probably be sick, we've probably lost a neighbor friend, the toddler will cower in fear at any mention water, and my sister will complain of being in pain because she took a nasty spill trying to avoid a barrage of water... What was I thinking when I picked that shit up at Walgreens?

Another Classic Joe Blog Moment ....

My time is precious lately, so I thought I would just post another one of my favorite blog entries from a previous life. This little, ultra cynical gem was written in Februrary of 2005. It seemed to be a favorite amongst certain friends. One such friend called to ask the Niece and Nephew to play the mentioned duet. I, still to this day, do not find that funny.... Enjoy!

It began yesterday. The sound wafted through the air and landed in my ears. They bled. They bled for hours afterwards. I can still hear the sound echo. I can still feel the pain. She didn't care. She laughed about it. She knew what she was doing. It was a game to her. Some sick, perverted game. I hate kids. I hate kids who have recorders. I hate kids who have recorders and play "hot cross buns" over and over... Yes, my niece got her fucking piece of shit recorder (an over glorified whistle no better then a kazoo) and immediately started practicing. And, yes, the first song, as I knew it would be, was "Hot Cross Buns." I had this discussion in my niece's presence about that fucking, goddamn song. She knew beforehand about my absolute HATRED for it. Especially when it came from a recorder! So, like the little monster that she can be (pretty damn nasty at times too. I am amazed at how nasty she can be! She's TEN!), she made sure I was within ear shot of that damn recorder thing. She knew I couldn't do anything about it. Hot cross buns! Hot cross buns... OHHHH, my blood is boiling just thinking about it! The funny thing is, my niece thinks the recorder is the absolute shit. She has this idea that the recorder trumps the trumpet. My nephew plays the trumpet. In her mind, there is no difference. We have been giving attention to the boy and his trumpet because that is kind of a big deal. That, and he is part of the school band (the niece goes flute next year). So, you know, we've been to his concerts and listen to him play downstairs (near my room. There are times, when he plays, he sounds like he's killing something). The niece is overly jealous. She thinks this recorder thing evens those odds... Her constant tooting of that damn thing is her way of saying, "Now you have to give me attention. I have an instrument!" And she carries the thing around and she constantly talks about it. "Look! I can break it down in two parts!" (The sibling rivalry thing going on around here is really getting to me too. It can be intense.) Not to sound like an ass, but fuck it, I am. The recorder is a fucking whistle you give 4th graders to play hot cross buns on so they can annoy every single adult in the vicinity. She doesn't see it that way. I think she has some bizarre memory of us huddling around the boy when he got his recorder in the fourth grade and gave him hugs and kisses. Guess what? I hated it then too!!! HATED IT!!! In fact it was more like, "Umm, boy? Could you practice that elsewhere? Could you practice that when I am not home?" Now, it's back and being shoved into my cynical face! Some cruel cosmic joke played by dead recorder players to make my life miserable! I think the niece is upset at me because I favor the trumpet over the recorder. In her mind, that means I favor boy over her. She doesn't understand that Miles Davis wasn't a professional recorder player. I don't nor have ever heard of any! Yet, it is a no win situation around here. I have to endure the whistle. I have to make it like I actually care about the Niece's playing of it. "That's good. That's good. You keep it up, Niece. You play. You sound wonderful," I must say through gritted teeth. It's lies! LIES! Of course, it is possible she'll be good at it. However, deep down, I want to take the damn thing and make it four pieces instead of two and then shove those pieces into people I really hate. Thus begins, this day TRUMPET/RECORDER WARS.... The niece is going to demand attention and she is going to make it brutal for us all until she gets it. Stupid recorder! I can see it now. When boy practices his trumpet, girl is going to make it hell for him. "I need to practice!" she'll scream! "Get out of here!" and then starts the yelling and the shoving and the screaming all in the name of attention seeking!!! Yee ha....I can't wait! Why the fucking recorder of all the damn things? Furthermore, it is only a matter of time before boy says to girl (or vice versa), "Let's Duet on Hot Cross Buns!" It is then, at that moment, I know I have entered hell. Later.

WORD!!!

My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Bookmaster Juice.
What's yours?
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Peace out!

NORTH!!!

I have noticed a trend among Chicagoans, and I am no exception. We have a summer migratory pattern towards the North. Some go south around Lake Michigan and then head north to well Michigan. Me, like several others, we just go North to Cheeseland. That's where I was this weekend along with several others who I like to call "boat toting bastards." These people forget they have boats on their car's asses and almost hit me as they change lanes to pass my, I guess very slow, 75 - 80 mph. Ahh Wisconsin! Yes, there I was, in the middle of the woods, being quite cold and wet. I often look forward to opening up the summer home. Not this time. Not only was the placed robbed for a thrid straight year (they didn't take much. One item was a nightlight of all the damn things. Asked why I didn't go fill out a police report, I merely said, "I didn't want to deal with the embarrassment of saying to an officer, "They took my nightlight!), but I was alone... and that means, I did the work. I volunteered because of a family emergency, but damnit! That place is hard work. There I was, cold and wet as I said, raking, mowing, cleaning, and doing general fixing of winter damage. I don't think I would've minded as much if I wasn't cold and wet... The rain poured down and down and down... and the temperature followed suit. There is nothing worse then being in the woods with a downward trend going on. But, Wisconsin! I love it (when not cold and wet). The trees! The fresh air! The beer! The cheese curds! The cheap steak (which I didn't buy because I was on a budget. I ate two sandwiches all weekend, and get this! I drank only one beer! I just drank water! WATER! No yeast, malts, or hops in it! I think that is against the law in Wisconsin isn't it?) The state rocks! I can't wait to get back up there (sans rain) to continue the enjoyment of the great outdoors. There is something just damn cool about hearing an owl as you stand in the trees with a rake while you hope that it is just an owl because what animal would be afraid of a rake. Let's face it, rakes are not a type of tool that instills fear in would be attacking, hungry animals. Maybe a deer would be afraid of a rake. They don't seem to be afraid of cars anymore telling from the evidence all over the roadways. I think somebody should tell the deer that they should maybe start being afraid again, especially of those "boat toting bastards." Cars kill! Rakes? Not very scary. You know what is scary? That bug I saw dead on the floor. That thing was scary. I have no idea what it was. Now, it's garbage. Speaking of bugs, I think my cabin is actually the long lost bug burial ground. There is a sure fair amount of dead bugs all over upon returning after returning for the season. I think Lady Bug X says to Lady Bug Y, "Hey, time to go die! Joe's Cabin? The infamous dead bug burial ground?" "Sure," says Lady Bug Y. "I want to die!" Thus, they go, and die ... ALL OVER! Nothing like opening a cabin loaded with stagnat dead lady bug air! And they do stink! And, the little bastards bite! Did you know that? They bite hard! But, in an hour or so of obsessive vacumming (after buying a new one cus the old one was stolen), the dead bug problem was no more. Those robbers stole my saws, too! MY SAWS!!! In the end, it was a successful trip. The cabin is ladybugless, I survived the "boat toting bastards," I am dry and warm, and the place is ready for fun.... Ahh Wisconsin! Come, come with me and migrate North!

A REPEAT!!!

Some of you might remember this posting. To some, this might be new. It was one of my worst and better moments in a not to recent past.

The original was posted in two parts. I have changed some answers.

I refrain from using the original title. It was posted in October 2005.

1. First name? Toughy... Toughy. Ummmmmm…heh…ummmmm… J…R… Well, my name is Bob... I mean, er.. Joe. My name is Joe. Shoot. First question in and I almost made my first fuck up...
2. Were you named after anyone? My name is Joe... I could be named after anybody with the name "Joseph" ... Actually, the answer is, and I think, my mom wanted me to have the first name "Joseph" because the nickname is "Joe" and "Joe" sounds like random noises so I will think everybody is calling my name. I guess she wanted me to have a swelled head or be tortured everyday because people keep using my name over and over and over!!!!!
3. Do you wish on stars? I usaully wish on the ground. The stars are so far away and WAY up there! It would cost billions in research and development to get me to one to wish on it. But, when I do wish, I wish in bed, late at night, watching television. Then sometimes I wish in the kitchen... Maybe in the living room. But, all those things are essentially on the ground. I wish on the ground.
4. When did you last cry? I’ve been crying for months!!! When is this shit going to end??? You know, I have a job interview today.

5. Do you like your hand writing? Only when I want it too. When it writes on its own, I get so pissed off. Cus, like, it's my hand! It should obey me! And, often, my hand writes nasty things about me. Bad, hand! BAD!!
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? I like meat lunches, actually. Ummm... ... ... This question is very prejudice to those vegans and vegetarians. Do the PETA people know about this one? Do they know people are assuming other people eat lunch meat? I like turkey, ham, roast beef, and others.
7. What is your birth date? I was there, but I don't remember. They tell me its in January sometime... I hate my birthday. .. Fuck you, Birthday! I like to disappear on my birthday. I sometimes spend it watching movies. Last year I saw three of them. It was a good day, especially when I got home and had a chocolate bock from Sam Addams! Thanks, Sam! I hate my birthday. (Are we done yet?? Fuck, only question 8!!!!) I this year I only saw one movie. I didn’t like it, so I won’t comment on it. Bad, Movie! BAD! Actually, it was boring. Boring, Movie! Boring!
8. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Would I play with myself? Is that what you are asking? Ummm.. NO! Actually, I don't know if I could be my own friend. I think I would be jealous of my big brains and my sharp wit and my AWESOME personality.... ummm... yeah... The truth is, I would hate me. I hate me now. So, why would that change when I am another person. Not only would I hate me as the other person, I would hate me... That's like hating two people instead of just hating one. I hope I am never another person. That's just a lot of hate.
9. Do you have a journal? Why do you ask? You want to read it? Fuck you! Those are my private thoughts and I might hurt your feelings... For example, like this one... "People who read my blog must be plain... " Let’s just skip this one. :)
10. Do you use sarcasm? Do I? You tell me.
11. What are your nicknames? I have some, I think. They call me.... ummmm...They call me "Joe" to my face. Behind my back, I am sure there are plenty of words I am called....
12. Would you bungee jump? I don't think so. I hear that's expensive. I am cheap. And, besides rubber things don't belong on the feet, if you catch my meaning! WOO HOO! Didn't see that one coming, now did you?
13. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. That is just such a useless and all time consuming step. Fuck that! IT is the American way to be cost cutting....
14. Do you think that you are strong? Yes.... Ouch, I hurt myself on the keyboard hitting a key. Somebody, quick... medic... stat!
15. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Golly... Ummm... I like ummmm... I really like the fruit flavored sherbets. But, when I have Ice Cream, I eat what's in the freezer.
17. Red or Pink? Duck!
18. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I don't have the time nor the space to adequately answer this question. I like cheese and cake and beer.
19 Who do you miss most? My ex-girlfriend. In fact, I ran into her the other day. Then I backed up and ran into her again! I miss her sometimes! (Thanks, J. Rush).
20. Do you want everyone you sent this to, to send it back? God, no! NO!!!! NO!!!! Really, what kind of bullshit question is this? What does this one reveal? "Oh, dear, I don't want anybody to send this back to me so that I have confirmation that I must be a loser!" Who's going to think that! Shit. Okay, I did. Shut up! Leave me alone... or continue.
21. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? Gee, I wonder what this tells you about me! What a mystery? Does Joe even wear clothing!!!????? Shit.... Right now? I am Naked! I say Naked just to be shocking!!! SHOCKING!!!! Are you shocked? Nope... Naked while holding a pen? Find that shocking? Only if it is a red pen? IT IS A RED PEN!!! Now, go away or on to the next question...I am actually wearing a black suit, white shirt, and yellow tie. The shoes are black. My soul is black. The world around me is purple. I have an interview.
22. What are you listening to right now? Yelling, screaming, fighting, blood, death, destruction... you know, the usual stuff.
23. Last thing you ate? An Altoid. They are curiously strong.
24. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? FLESH!!!! (Like you didn't see this one coming!!! Oh boy! Half way!)
25. What is the weather like right now? Dark. .... ... Dark... Ummm... not toasty. Not toasty at all.
26. Last person you talked to on the phone? Matt! Hi, Matt! It was Matt. He wanted to chat. We chatted. :)
27. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? If they are breathing or not.
28. Do you like the person who sent you this?
29. Favorite drink? Come on!!! BEER of course!!!!! (Are we almost done yet??)
30. Favorite sport? Baseball and scaring little children. BOO! I win!
31. Hair color? Brown on the dark side with a hint of evil.
32. Eye color? Hazel…And, when doing witchcraft or committing evil??? Hazel.
33. Do you wear contacts? No. I am a purist. I wear glasses, which I often lose. Maybe I should get contacts. I wouldn't lose them... No, I would. I am just that talented. I need new eyes. They are bent at the moment. I sat on them not too long ago. And, then my niece got at them and went to town.
34. Favorite food? The ones that I can eat! The ones that make me sick? I don't like those.
35. Last movie you watched? Some stupid shit on Lifetime. I had little choice. It was either sit in my room all pathetic... OR, sit with the kids and watch Disney Shit... or be upstairs where the beer is. It's easy to choose where to sit.
36. Favorite day of the year? February 30 .. That is a good day.
37. Scary Movies or Happy Ending? Credits! They usually end films, don't they?
38. Summer or winter? FALL!!!
39.Hugs or kisses? Beer!!! And, when conflicted with two choices such as "Hugs or Kisses", I choose the one that will save more lives. The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few. But, in terms of Hugs and Kisses, I say let them both die a very miserable and horrible death.
40. What is your favorite dessert? Sahara! I mean, I like pie. (10! 10 more to go!!! Bored? Yeah, me too.. The two stupidest questions are next).
41. Who is most likely to respond? Like nobody, cus I ain't mailing it.
42. Who is least likely to respond? Nobody, cus, like I ain't mailing it. (See, dumb! Dumb and stupid!)
43. Living arrangements? I will arrange my own living, thank you.
44. What books are you reading? Actually, I am reading like 200,000,000 titles at the moment...cus, I am in a library! Snarf!!!
45. What's on your mouse pad? My mouse and my ... Wait!?! What the hell is that??? Oh shit! It's growing! It's coming after me!!! Help me! Help me! aaaaahhhhhhhh...... !.
46. What did you watch on TV last night? Shows and little baby hand prints. Now, those are hilarious! Little baby hand prints. They are little and from a baby! Fucking funny as hell, and indication I need to clean the TV screen.
47. Favorite smells? Jesus... I ... Yeah, sure... I will leave it at "Jesus"... I like smelling our savior. (Countdown begins now for the end... 10...9...8...7...)
48. Favorite sounds? Hello darkness my old friend... I've come to talk with you again... People hearing with out listening... People speaking without talking.. ummm lyric..lyric...lyric...muffled sounds.. muffle the lyric... The sounds of silence!!!
49. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Led Zeppelin, Bee-yotch!!! (Shouldn't it be "Elvis" instead of Rolling Stones? Who wrote this shit? Anyway, two more... TWO MORE)
50. What's the furthest you've been from home? I was over hill and dell... And, then I went up the stairs... and there I saw... What was the question again? (Last one, ready?)
51. Do you have a special talent? I waste time really, really well! ... All done, folks.. Oh, one last question not on the list that should've been...

BONUS QUESTION.....
52. White Sox? SUCK!

-----

PART II:
1. WHAT TIME DO YOU GET UP IN THE MORNING? The first time was around 3:30am…That was the time I removed myself from the couch in front of the TV and moved my ass to my futon bed here in the crypt… The second time was around 5:30am to turn off my bedroom light, turn off my private tv, and then take a pee to which after I went back to my bed and found myself very awake... fuck! The final time was at 9:06 am… and moved my ass back to the couch in front of the TV.
2. IF YOU COULD HAVE LUNCH WITH ONE FAMOUS PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE? Famous person? I...I... how about that woman that was in that one movie? She acted good? She won an Oscar? You know who I am talking about? Her! She! That person! Yeah, her! She's awesome. I'd love to have lunch with her.
3. GOLD OR SILVER? Platinum
4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA? Who the hell calls it "Cinema" these days? Who the fuck wrote this question? A Brit? What the fuck? How about "What was the last film you saw at the movies?" Or "Theater?" ... Cinema? Jesus fucking Christ!?!?!? Cinema... Dear lord... Stupid ass shit trying to be all smart and shit... How many people actually know what a Cinema is? Seriously Cinema? "Let's go to the cinema, shall we?" "Oh, please! Goody! Goody! I do so want to go to the cinema!" (he says using a British Accent!).... Ummm... What was the question?
5. FAVORITE TV SHOWS? The one I am watching now is kinda good…And there is the one where the characters do all this wacky stuff and get in all these outrageous situations.… It is hilarious!
6. WHAT ARE YOU READING?
These questions at the moment.
7. WHAT'S YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE ALBUM/MUSIC? Why do you want to know? Trying to nail me for piracy? Is that your plan? Fuck you! FUCK YOU! ... Oh, ummm, Kind of Blue – Miles Davis... This Album is ... is perfection. JAZZ, BABY! YEAH!
And, the Shrek Movie Soundtrack – not a favorite at all.. But, my neice and nephew's favorite and it’s being played over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over ….
8. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? Cat hair… Been eating it three meals a day for the last several years. Every where I go around here, cat hair! Damn cats. There are three of them, currently, in my present location. One of them is trying to kill me, I swear to God!
9. WHAT WOULD YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH? The Shrek Soundtrack.
10. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?Yes, and I can touch other things with my tongue too!!
11. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME? It’s the name after my first name and right before my last name.
12. BEACH, CITY OR COUNTRY? Doesn't matter... I want to rule them all!!!!!
13. FAVORITE ICE CREAM? (I have answered this one before, but I liked my archived answer and I wanted to share) Usually, I like it not melted… but, that seems to be the biggest problem… By the time I get into my ice cream, I find that most of it has melted… then it becomes ice cream sauce… So, my favorite Ice Cream Sauce is.. umm jeesh… ummm… golly, I like my ice cream sauce mixed in with Hot Fudge which is a sauce… so then it becomes a thicker sauce… Because, Ice Cream is cold, the fudge becomes cold, so it isn’t hot fudge anymore… So, I like ice cream/fudge sauce… ummm… Vanilla… because it makes a nice sauce.
14. BUTTERED, PLAIN OR SALTED POPCORN? I want all of them... NOW!
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? That one (he writes pointing over yonder).
16. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CAR? Anyone that works and gets me from point A to point B... And, I am partial to both K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider and the General Lee from the Dukes of Hazzard... And the one parked in front of the house? I don't like that one. That one has GOT to go!
17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SANDWICH FILLING?Cat
18. TRUE LOVE?? Beer, Music, Movies, and Comedy. Oh, you mean women? I think she’s around here somewhere? Let me go check behind the couch… Nope, not there… okay, let me go check behind the refrigerator? Nope… not there either… Hmmm…. Not in the trunk of the car… not in couch cushions… not… Nope, nope, nope… I guess she’s not around… so, ummm… well… did I mention I liked Vanilla ice cream sauce? How about toast? Have I mentioned my interest in toast? This question has GOT to be the biggest bullshit question in the bunch... True Love? Fuck!
19. CHARACTERISTICS YOU DESPISE IN A PERSON? Breathing… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Gosh, Joe.. that was a good one, you damn cynic.
20. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE FLOWERS? Let’s see… I like the Dandelion… Why? Cause, well, no reason. I am lying... I hate the Dandelion! I dispise the fucking weed! They must go! So, favorite flower would have to be the cactus! Is that a flower? Well, it should be!
21. IF YOU HAD A BIG LOTTERY WIN, HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE YOU TO TELL PEOPLE? Who cares? I mean, shit, you aren't getting any of it, so fuck off! You....you, swarmy bastard! Get your begging ass out of here before I call the police!
22. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM? The INSIGHT you might get with this answer! What does the color of the bathroom mean? If it is blue, does it mean I like to ... umm... This question is just dumb. I am skipping it. Move on... nothing to read here! Besides, I use a jar.
23. HOW MANY KEYS ARE ON YOUR KEY RING? Why? Plan on stealing them and breaking into my home/car? Want to know how much guess work you need inorder to succeed in your sadistic plot? I ain’t telling!
24. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETIRE? In a state of supreme bliss!
25. CAN YOU JUGGLE? IF SO, HOW MANY AT A TIME?? Why is this even asked? I ... does juggling or the ability of being able to juggle mean something? Is it important? Well, if it is important, then yes... I can juggle and three items. So, there!
26. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? I don’t have a favorite day, but my favorite time of the day occurs around 3:30am when I move my ass to bed from in front of the Television and then around 9:06am when I move back to the couch in front of the television.
27. RED OR WHITE WINE? Beer... And, I, on occassion drink both red and white wine... I am fucking cultured, beyotch!
28. WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? I aged one year.
29. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD? I take it you are wanting an organ? You can't have mine! EVER! On second thought, you can have my tonsils. I hear they aren't very useful. I have them in a jar somewhere... let me see where I put them... Ahhh, here they are! Now go away before I taunt you a second time! Later!

Things are going to be really hectic....

I just wanted to drop by and leave a quick message. Things are starting to really shake up here in the gameroom. Not to get into any details, but my mental energies are going to be needed elsewhere. I just wanted to inform the readership (that is if there is a readership) that I will be posting intermittantly over the next several weeks (basically as time allows and if I feel humoursly up to it). For this, I am very sorry, however some things can't be helped. Anyway, if I don't get a chance I want to wish you and yours a wonderful summer season. Until the next posting, whenever that is, I wish everyone the best. Later!