Going to Climb that Pyramid!!!

Let's sit back, and see where this goes.... Ready? Wait! Hang on! I have to go grab that beer... BRB....

OOOOHHHHH --- DARK BIER... That's what it is called. Dark Bier. It's dark. It's beer. It is one of those styles that can't really catergorized, in the sense that, well, it is an ale. However, it can't be classified as as stout, nor a porter. It does have those qaulities. What is is, is simply wholesome beer goodness, and a unique genre unto itself. Anyway, I digress...

This morning I had an ephiphany. I call it an ephiphany simply because it was a random, wierd thought that I woke up with. In other words, it wasn't my usual "FUCK!" and a slamming of the snooze button. It was a thought that had meaning. It was a thought that wasn't part of my morning rituals (hitting the snooze several times with the thought of "FUCK!"). It was a thought that I took as a sign from above, simply because it came from out of nowhere...left field...random recesses of my very dark brain (like dark bier, a genre unto itself). I don't know how my brian works, but it has given me meaning... a purpose! I have a new mission!

Jesus Christ! Ghandi! Mother Therese! .... We've heard of these people, haven't we? They are the types of folk that have changed the world, mainly because they have achieved something that many people have never thought possible (I know a short bus driver that claims that she has achieved this and said so...More on that later). They have shaped, moved, and have done great things, simply because they have climbed the pyramid. "What?" you ask. "What the fuck are you talking about, Joe?"

Back in the days of my young scrapper ness, I was almost a product of public education. That was, until, I was a teenager, and my father decided that if I was to make anything of myself, I would complete my young years of education at a Catholic High School (There is a Springfield link! Did you know the monks that run SCI - Benedictine University are the same monks that run Benedictine University up in Lisle, IL... and the very same monks that ran my high school Benet Academy - accross the street? AND, the same monks that were started by a bunch of Czechs that my Mother's side got to know on a regular friendly terms simply because they were Czech? Yup! I have connections with the Benedictine monks! --- Just so you know, I call Benedictine University -- BU.. pronounced "Boo!"). During my sophomore year at Benet Academy, I had to take a year of religion class on morality. Yeah, it was fun.... real fun... sigh.... I WANT THAT TIME BACK!!!! Anyway, during a lesson I was introduced to a renowned psycholigist by the name of Abe Maslow who wrote about something very interesting to me, that, as it seems, is the only thing I managed to retain from Catholic Morality class. Wikipedia describes it as follows: "Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a theory in psychology that Abraham Maslow proposed in his 1943 paper A Theory of Human Motivation,^[1] which he subsequently extended to include his observations of humans' innate curiosity." Yes, Maslow's hierarchy of needs... which, forms a pyramid, mainly because fewer and fewer poeple make it to the top.

You can find a nice image of it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs.svg

... So, one begins trying to achieve Physiological ---> Safety ---> Love Belonging ---> Esteem ---> SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

(WOO HOO!!! I AM GOING TO THE GREAT LAKES BEER FEST IN SEPTEMBER!!!! ... My ticket has been confirmed!!!)

What do Jesus, Ghandi, and Mother Therese have in common? They are self-actualized... or at least that's what that article we read in Religion class said... These people achieved the top of Maslow's pyramid and then did great things... super things... things like make water into wine, free a third world nation from British oppressors, and help out the sick while never getting sick herself!

Self-actualization, baby!

This morning, when I woke up, I didn't mutter "FUCK!"... I actually muttered...no, I said outloud in my head: "Maslow!"

And, then I said, "I am going to become self-actualized!"

I am going to find internal "belongingness!" I am going to become a great figure like Jesus and Ghandi and Mother Therese! I am going to become a fourth name on that fucking list in that fucking article read in that fucking Catholic Morality class to become the ultimate fucking human being! Now, is that a purpose or what? Today, I've decided to begin my quest, my purpose, and become self-actualized (and rid the world of cheese sauce).

Here's the rub... I don't think Jesus, Ghandi, nor Mother Therese KNEW they were self-actualized. They just became that way and stayed that way and never cared that some dude named Abe Maslow would classify them as such. Unlike a friend of my sister's who said that she was self-actualized. My sister said, "Jo says that she is self-actualized." (Odd that her name is the female version of mine... concidence?) I said, "You don't say?" "That's what she said," replied my sister. "What does she do or did?" I asked. "She used to drive a short bus." I paused thinking about this for a moment. "She used to drive a short bus and she says she's self-actualized. She's full of shit!" I also remember saying, "I don't think it is possible for a person, including short bus drivers, to know if they achieved self-actualization." I remembered that Cathlioc Morality class and discussing the work of Jesus, Ghandi, and Mother Therese... and none of them, if I recall, drove any short buses. They helped the masses. They led the people. They did great things! I don't think people who become self-actualized feel that life's grand ambition, life's great moments. life's great achievements are accomplished by driving the short bus. I may sound snobbish, but come on! This list makes absolutley no sense: Jesus, Ghandi, Mother Threse, and Jo the "short" bus driver. Besides, I don't think one ever knows they achive self-actualization. According to that article, most of the general population are lucky if they even enter the "realm" of stage of "Esteem." I remember that article saying that most people are in and stay in the third realm: "Love/Belonging." I am going to say it... Jo the short bus driver is full of shit.

I wake this morning and think to myself, "Maslow." I took that as a sign that came from my dark recesses of my mind that I am to begin my quest to become self-actualized. I wonder if my dream happened to be about short busses... hmmmm...

And, that is a great purpose... a possible never ending quest... an always endless search for meaning that I will never know if I achieve until that Catholic Morality Class artcle prints my name along with the greats. AND, even then, I probably won't know. Such is the beauty of this epiphany! It will be my continual mission! I am so excited!

I feel that song coming on again:

To dream ... the impossible dream ...
To fight ... the unbeatable foe ...
To bear ... with unbearable sorrow ...
To run ... where the brave dare not go ...
To right ... the unrightable wrong ...
To love ... pure and chaste from afar ...
To try ... when your arms are too weary ...
To reach ... the unreachable star ...

This is my quest, to follow that star ...
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far ...
To fight for the right, without question or pause ...
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause ...

I, Joseph N. Dulski, will quest for the top of that pyramid. I will quest for greater understanding. I will quest for self-actualization. I WILL BECOME SELF-ACTUALIZED AS GOD IS MY WITNESS!!!!

................................................................................................................

........................................................................................................................

................................................................ Shit... I don't know where to start.... FUCK!

I can't get the hell out of here

fast enough! Summer? WHERE ARE YOU!?!?!?

I need a new adventure... something that gets the old enthusiasm going!

I HATE

CHEESE SAUCE!!!! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT!

It must die!!!!

SUMMERTIME BEGINETH!

Memorial Day weekend.... traffic... BBQs...traffic...family...traffic...friends....traffic...and traffic.
I can't wait! This weekend it's up North... Good old North! So, tomorrow night I head up with the rest of the pathetic and weary travelers who feel compelled to be somewhere on this weekend that begins the summer season. I have some paper work to do... but the rest of the time... IT'S... TRAFFIC! ... I mean fun.

This week has been a tad bit busy. I don't mind. Nothing like a good busy week to test one's mojo. Not that my mojo needs testing, but it's good to see that I still have some. I thought I was plumb run out!

Great news: WISCONSIN OPENS IN TWO... TWO WEEKS!!! WOO HOO!!!!

So, that's kind of cool.

I am in need of the great North. I really, really need it. I have my summer reading list already to go. I am ready to dig in.

Hmmmmm.... You know? I can't think of anything at all remotely entertaining to write. Maybe I should just call it a night. You don't want to hear about my week. I don't really want to write about it. I mean, we all have busy weeks. My week isn't all that special because busy-ness is all a part of life. My busy-ness and your busy-ness... my guess they are similar in the sense that it is busy. The only difference is what makes the week busy. The feelings are very much the same. It would be a pathetic waste of time to go into it. You don't care. Now that the week is winding down, I don't care. The result? A WHOLE lot of not caring. Let's not care together shall we?

"Hey, Joe, you left the ice out and now it is water." --- I don't care.
"Hey, Joe, you didn't get the trash out on time." --- I don't care.
"Hey, Joe, don't sit there, I just painted that chair." --- I don't care.
"Hey, Joe, the gas prices keep rising." --- I don't care.
"Hey, Joe, custard is good." --- I don't care.
"Hey, Joe, doughnut?" --- I don't care.
"Hey, Joe, your car is blowing up and there are small animals inside." --- I don't care.
"Hey, Joe, that can't be good to eat." --- I don't care.
"Hey, Joe, cheese?" --- I don't care.
"Hey, Joe, let's go to the store and by pretzels." --- I don't care.
"Hey, Joe, the beer is gone!" --- HOLY SHIT! TO THE STORE! TO THE STORE!

I hope you enjoyed not caring with me today. Let's also not care tomorrow... and Saturday... and Sunday... and Memorial Day... But, let's care again on Tuesday... It's Summer Time!

Story Time!!!

There are times I actually wonder about genetics and heritage and ethnicity. Do these things really play significant parts in our lives? Do they have an affect? Yes, I guess I am getting at the nature versus nurture debate. What makes us what we are? I am Polish. My last name gives that away. And, when I make a mistake, it is in a most embarrassing, humiliating, and grand fashion. Is this because I am Polish? Am I cursed? OR, am I just an idiot that often has moments of complete stupidity... I dunno, but with the following story, maybe you can help me decide. Let's get into the "Way Back Machine" (thank you, Mr. Peabody), and set our sights on the Spring of 1994. I was a Sophomore in college..... Here we go!!!!

The 6-Pack.... The 6-Pack was the student name for my dorm complex. They were six identical buildings. Now that I think about it, we could call this the college version of a suburb... In suburbs, houses look the same. This section of campus, the dorms looked the same. How interesting is that? It was a micro chasm of actual life. I am pretty sure 75% of the inhabitants were actually from some burb, like myself. I digress.

The 6-Pack was undergoing some outdoor renovations. Simply put, there were some sewer problems, and the area kept on flooding. The renovations (or construction), in attempt to fix the problem, actually made things worse. When it rained, what used to be a small puddle caused by sewer drainage problems in the middle of things, was a lake in the middle of things. Walking through this area after a rain became a game. How do you cross Lake 6-Pack without getting your shoes wet? I never won, simply because I didn't care. Let's just say I went through several pairs of sneakers. Stupid me. I wasn't going to let some damn puddle keep me from a direct line to my dorm which held my bed where I napped a lot. I loved those naps.

This particular spring it rained... it rained... it rained a lot. We are talking "40 days/ 40 nights" type rain. My friends and I were thinking about building an ark just to save our own lives. In college, it was every man for himself. Animals and assholes be damned! AND, On the particular day I have taken us in the "Way Back Machine", I recall having 12 hours of torrential down pours. I didn't leave the dorm that day due to constant warnings of tornadoes and high winds. After all, why risk my life for knowledge when my bed looked more inviting? Besides, for some reason, my room had free HBO and Cinemax.... FREE HBO AND CINEMAX! While I laid there with my free HBO and Cinemax watching Armageddon outside my dorm room window, I suddenly had this wonderful idea - "When it stops raining, I want to go puddle jumping." Don't knock puddle jumping unless you've tried it. There is nothing more refreshing, rehabilitating, stimulating, and liberating then a good jump and plop dead center in a puddle. The splash! The look of water spraying in all directions! The feel of rain water (mixed with mud on your clothes) on your skin! HEAVEN!

I conned my friends into this idea at dinner. "Hey, they say the nasty stuff is to the east of us now. How about later we jump in puddles?" I said. "Joe, you two?" responded a friend. "Dude, why don't you just trust me!" "You two?" After this conversation went on back and forth over something that looked like meatloaf, it was finally decided that we'd go do this puddle jumping thing... more like sliding in the puddle thing... After all, most college kids have the intellectual prowess of two year-olds. Regress we did... The clock struck 9:00pm... Clothed only in our grubbies, 6 of us went out looking for the ultimate puddle to jump in a simple drizzle...

We scoured the area finding and then jumping in puddles, sliding on the muddied grass, and splashing nay-sayers. We turned a corner... And there it was! THE HOLY GRAIL of puddles... That lake puddle I mentioned earlier that formed in the middle of the 6-Pack, in that one day, became an ocean. I could see whales striking the surface. I could hear the sound of fog horns. I could see fishing boats hoisting their nets. This, my friends, this was the ultimate puddle... This was what the sport of puddle jumping is all about. This was our Mt. Everest!!!! My friends and I eyed this adventure hungrily, but apprehensively... "Let's jump head first in that one!" I said.
"Dude, you have no idea what could be in there now," said my engineering friend (leave it up to an engineer to see the rational side of things). "I'm doing that!" I said. "I don't care! We'll never get another chance at something like that!" I wanted to be the first to brave Super-lake 6-Pack. This was going to be my greatest show. This was it! THE MOMENT FOR GREATNESS!!! I gaged the distance. I readied my stance. I took off like a ball-player trying to steal second. In a made flash I quickly neared what would be my greatest achievement...I leaped forward. I dove head first. I was flying... The puddle loomed before me... and ... I.... I missed.

I came up five feet short... I missed the fucking ocean. My friend that came behind was the first to brave the puddle.... All I could hear was his feet come sludging by and something that sounded like, "You dumb Polack!" as he hit the water.

What I did do was hit the sidewalk in between the puddle and some grass... I tore my clothing. I scrapped up the right side of my body pretty good (blood everywhere). My face landed in a big patch of mud. It was not a good moment.

I arose and rejoined my friends who were readying themselves for the ultimate plunge. "How the fuck did you manage that, Joe?" One friend said. "You stupid-ass Polack" said another. I shook off the jeers... waited my turn... bloodied, humiliated, and defeated, I nailed that puddle the second time around.
Shit.

Anyway, I am not sure if it was my Polishness that fucked that one up, or the fact I was just stupid. In any case, it was a good time and well worth the added fee we had to pay the building service workers who had to clean up the mess we maid going back to our rooms triumphant.

It was a good day.

The Four Horsemen

Incidents at work today brought me shame. There really was no reason for the dismal failure. Half a brain cell is all they needed. ONLY HALF A BRAIN CELL... This incident got me to thinking. We're doomed. I mean we are really doomed. We are headed for the Armageddon. It's over. I have come to believe that the end of the world is nigh. The apathy people show toward their work makes me shudder in fear for the future. For brief moments this afternoon, I wanted to move to Canada. Let me stress "brief moments." They passed quickly. Seriously, Canada? I am sure that things aren't that good there, mainly because there are so many Canadians walking around our country, in disguise... . If they want to leave their country to come here, this trend for failure must be universal. After my thought of a Canadian excursion was shot down by other thoughts, I thought of a list a friend of mine started to compile to prove that we are only a few moments short of the Apocalypse. This was a few years back. I can hardly remember what he had on there. I laughed at it. I added a couple items to his list, and sadly I can't remember what those were either. I think one item was "Leaf Blowers"... Anyway, I thought I would quickly write down ten items that prove that we are doomed. They aren't well thought out because of time constraints, but here we go...

10 QUICK Not Well Thought out Signs We Are Doomed by Joe

1. Leaf Blowers

2. References to "McDreamy" and "McSteamy" resulting from a hackneyed television show staring shitty talent. "Gray's Anatomy"? PUHLEEZE!!!

3. A new study has revealed that a mother's overuse of the cellphone (from baby in the womb to baby being seven) causes behavioral issues in the child.

4. Cell phones in general and the belief that we must constantly be in communication with each other, and people faking it in order to look popular. That's just fucked up. This is a perfect off shoot from those fake beepers people used to wear to look important. That... THAT WAS DUMB!

5. Internet TEXT language is starting to become a viable form of communication in most formal settings. "I Luv U...LOL!!!" AND, now people are beginning to talk that way. "Hey, Joe! You suck! ROFL." Sigh

6. Cheese sauce

7. The new socially acceptable trend to make segments of the population evil because they don't believe in what you believe or do what you do. For example, Republicans, Smokers, Fat People, People who aren't very green, Priests, In Chicago - people who drink bottled water, SUV drivers, Rich People, Church goers, and sadly the list does go on.

8. The idea that if you drink wine, you are better then everybody else.

9. People who feel the need to bring ferrets and pythons to outdoor events in order to look cool. Who the fuck do they think they are kidding?

10. Our culture's over obsession with the Hollywood elite. If I hear one more thing about Bradjalina or Brittany Spears... Or Paris Hilton... I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD!!!

10a. People who commit acts of evil or do things wrong suddenly become rich and famous... in other words, our culture's need to reward bad behavior - Example: Kobe Bryant, The Runaway Bride, Paris Hilton.

Yup, we're doomed. However, I feel that maybe I am too negative. So, here is another attempt at optimistic thoughts that maybe it isn't as bad as it seems:

10 QUICK Signs That Things Will Be Okay by Joe

1. Leaf Blowers

2. Moon Pies

3. Real Cheese

4. Led Zeppelin

5. Knock! Knock! Jokes

6. ummmm.... ummm..... Me? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA... anyway, ummmm... Flowers? Sure, pretty flowers (gag).

7. Gunniess... and other fine beers everywhere!

8. Simple acts of kindness

9. Conversation Hearts

10. That old lady that talks about sex on that one cable channel.

So, there you have it... my quickly written lists. Now, you decide how it's going... Doomed? Not doomed? Cheese sauce sucks ass and doesn't belong on any food? Real Cheese rocks? Leaf Blowers? Is there anything more futile or is it a convenience device that makes life simpler? Joe is an ass? Doesn't matter... The point is, let's just go drink this off.

Prost!

WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS!?!?!?

You won't believe this... I just wrote an extremely personal blog and almost posted the damn thing... Until my phone rang and I came to my senses. I said, "NO WAY WILL I SHARE THIS!?!?! WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!?!?!?" It was pathetic! You really don't need to know what I've been thinking or why I've been doing some of the things that I do.. or why I felt the need to distance... It is not any or your business. It isn't even my business. I don't even like to know why I do what I do... I like to be surprised like everybody else. Just the basics ... I have a plan. That's all you need to know. Though, I must admit, it was a very nicely written personal statement. It would've have left you speechless. You would have said, "Joe, I didn't know you could write so eloquently and with such passion!" You would've been left in sheer awe! I mean it! It was great! It was stupendous! Yeah, baby, I can fucking write like nobody's business if I damn well feel like it. The words just flowed from my mind...to my fingers... to the keyboard... to the screen! Yes, it was great thought that from the mind that I decided I wasn't going to use to think with anymore (which I will start doing once again... Fuck my thoughts... seriously...)! I was sweating and panting.. my heart was skipping beats, it was so damn good... and personal... and ... and beautiful! SHEER POETRY... from the bottom of my heart... to the depths of my soul! But, sorry. It was deleted. No sharing. Nope. Not at all... Ha ha! I remain ever so mysterious... Not that I am mysterious. I don't think I am all that mysterious. I do keep to myself. In a moment of non-clarity, I almost slipped with this Nobel Prize in Literature winning stuff that I almost posted a few moments ago! But my exceptionally brave and AWESOME private thoughts will remain just that... PRIVATE! Hey, don't even think about asking me to share... No! None of your business. Go away! Leave me be! It's dead! DEAD I TELL YOU! Oh, you think you can get it out of me? FAT CHANCE! I am a rock! AN ISLAND!... actually a Polach-Czech rock-island thingy... But, still! I won't budge! In fact, I've written so much crap since then, that I don't even remember what I had written.... Okay, I remember now, but no! You won't... I MEAN WON'T ever know... NEVER!!!!

I want a Donavon album. I want the one that has all his folksy stuff in one big anthology. I was listening to my I-Pod, and one of his songs came on. I thought to myself, "Wow! That's really very nice!" I've been in this folksy mood... I almost bought a Pete Seeger albumn last night on I-Tunes... I didn't, but I almost did... So, now I want a Donavon Albumn... "Call me Mellow Yellow!"... So, that is one thought I will share. I also ran out of popcorn... and all my food, actually. I have to go get some.

Yup, the above was random to prevent you from thinking I had written anything so great as I did for the past hour... I did. It was great. I worked on it an hour. But, I won't share. HA! I am impressed that I could write beautiful thoughts when in such a cynical mood. When I got home, I was ready to go into the whole, "Life is such bullshit! Bastards always fucking win!" thing... but, I didn't. I am proud. Instead... I opened up... BUT CLOSED !!! YES!!!!!

Now I am bored with my nonesense. Peace out!

I fogot to post this the other day.. oops.

Stupid "Word" and all it's glory! That's what happens when we get distracted and forget to finish a job. Anyway, here we go... .more stupid shit.

The SUBJECT WAS: "Over and Over and Over Again!"

The subject has nothing to do with anything. I randomly picked the word "over" and thought, "Joe?" I call myself "Joe". I said, "Joe, write 'over' several times for absolutely no reason whatsoever... Adding the conjunction "and" and "again" and then put it all together. You have to love the English language for having such words that make sense out of nonesense. AND, for giving me a ... Nah, I will leave this little, stupid wittiness alone.

Anyway, today was one of those days that can easily be forgotten. If it wasn't for dinner with friends, it would have been a non-day. That means, everything was status quo. I have too many of those "status quo" days. It gets boring. Sure, I had "drama" days. Those days I long for "status quo." But, if one has too many status quo days, it does get boring. AND, we can get destructive. I am just bored. I think I don't want to quit smoking because of that very reason. It's a time filler. Yes, yes... This summer I plan on the cold turkey bit. I figure I can be up in Wisconsin where nobody is around as I go through the, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" after quitting days. There I can keep myself busy, and I won't hit people with shovels. It's always good to not hit people with shovels.

Lately I've been trying to figure out how to end the "status quo" and begin to have "eventful" days. I've got nothing. I thought maybe I should actually write things other then boring ass blogs.... Of course, I've had this thought before. This, in itself, has become a boring thought. I will no longer have this thought, therefore won't bore me, nor anybody who reads this. I wish not to be boring. I hate boring. Boring sucks. Anyway, what to do... what to do.

Anyway, the main reason for even checking in today and composing this blog was to merely end the day with some sort of brain exercise. "Can I write something without giving any thought?" That's what I asked myself when I walked in the door. I don't often ask myself questions, but today I did. AND, I sure can! This blog comes with 100% no thought. I put no thought here. I am not even thinking as I write this. You can tell the lack of thought merely by looking at the randomness of my sentences and words. They are all over the place! Thinking causes... ummmm... causes a linear pattern. ummm... maybe. Non-thought creates abstract ideas with no cohesion at all. My sentences don't make any sense. My thinking or lack there of, has created dribble. I am dribbling. Isn't that great? Maybe I should not-think more often to find out where it might take me. I won't think tomorrow when I drive my car! WATCH OUT, THINKERS! I won't think when I work. WATCH OUT, LEARNERS! I won't think when I converse! WATCH OUT, LISTENERS! I am through with thought. It gets mer no where! So, I won't think! I think no more... therefore I am not. I won't think. I am done with that stupid idea of thinking. What has it gotten me lately? Nothing! So, thought is gone. My brain is a thinkless organ that can't think. I think I shall end this so I can not think about going to bed nor think about getting up.

I am not thinking.

No thought here.

Nor here.

Thoughtless.

Nope.

I have not had a thought for several seconds now.

Begone, useless thought!

Ummmmmm.......................................................................................................

I STAND for something!!!

Ah… Beautiful day…..Huh?? Phone is ringing? WTF??? Answer it or not? Well, I usually choose to let it go to voicemail… But, curious I am…. “Private call”… WTF?

I answered it. Nobody!!! See, that’s why I usually choose not to answer my phone. It’s usually a waste of my time…sometimes. But, “Private Call”??? Who would want to block their phone number? Who is this mysterious person that would cause me to get off my ass to find my phone and force me to answer to nothing? Well, “Private Call,” you missed out on a great opportunity to talk with me…and be bored to tears!!! So, there, “Private Call!” SO THERE!!!

Anyway, what was it I wanted to waste time with today before I go to my balcony and sit with a book and smoke and drink…? hmmmm… I had an idea during my prep period. I wanted to mention something…. Ahhh..

Last Friday I actually went to a demonstration. This was my first demonstration that I actually had a stake in the issue and for the most part cared about. In college, I never demonstrated. I always happened to be located, at the time, near a demonstration of some sort. It was never for an issue I really gave two shits about. I usually watched and made cynical comments. That was me. Things don’t change. However, I make cynical comments regardless of demonstration. I make them to put in an element of truth to the things people bitch about. Often people seem to miss the big picture. I like to make the picture extremely clear. Cynicism is just a nasty way of speaking the truth.

But, I went to a demonstration for an issue and I partook in the demonstration… I walked in said demonstration, but I did not cheer. I don’t cheer. I feel that my mere presence is voice enough. “Why?” you ask? I’m Slavic… that’s why. If we look at Slavic history, one can see a huge amount of historical evidence that my cultures (Czech and Polish) are used to being kicked in the head. We are cultures that … well… lose gracefully. We lose, we get up, we get kicked in the head… we go down (yes, folks… this is my life on so many levels…. DAMN YOU GENETICS), we lose some more… we get up, and we say, “I guess we deserved it. Oh Well!” … And, eventually, we get tired of the kicks in the head and say, “ENOUGH!” Then, because we are so used to abuse, we fight, then we win. Then, we get kicked around some more until we stand again. The process continues over and over again. For 500 years the Hapsburgs pushed around the Czechs… Then the Germans alone… then the Russians… In fact, one could say the same of the Poles… But, here we are in the 21^st Century, and you can’t get rid of us… Mainly, for once, my cultures took a stand! FEEL THE POWER OF THE SLAVIC NATION, BITCHES!!! This is why I usually choose not to care about anything, because I usually get kicked in the head. It’s easier to just stand there and take it. But, for once, I stood with comrades, and it appears that my mere presence has changed the outcome … I think. Okay, not really, but I stood for once with comrades, and that is a big thing for me. I demonstrated. I took a stand, and let my Slavic look voice my discontent…

In general, I lose a lot. I lose so often that I have begun not to care because, well, I lose. What’s the point? There is always somebody better….. To which I say, “Fuck em!” So, I just don’t care. I shall go out and have my fun. I think this is the best way to do my Slavic heritage proud… Go ahead, kick me in the head! I just don’t care! Because no matter what, I won’t go down! I will go down… but, I will keep getting up, and? I will win, eventually!!! I have centuries of genetic chutzpah that keeps me in the game! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!! AGAIN… FEEL THE POWER OF THE SLAVIC NATION, BITCHES!!!! Perogi anybody? How about some sort of meat and potatoes slathered (I love the word “slather”) in brown gravy? Yeah, you know what I am talking about! FUCK YEAH!!!

Now, on to the main event… I decided to re-write a Who song… It was an obvious choice. Ready… Set… go!

Happy “Joe”

By the Who

And Shamelessly reedited by Joe

Happy Joe wasn't old, but he was a man.
He lived in the sand at the Isle of Man.
The kids would all sing, he would take the wrong key,
So they rode on his head in their furry donkey.

The kids couldn't hurt Joe,
They tried, tried, tried.
They dropped things on his back,
They lied, lied, lied, lied, lied.

But they couldn't stop Joe, 'or the waters lapping,
And they couldn't prevent Joe from being happy.

But they couldn't stop Joe, 'or the waters lapping,
And they couldn't prevent Joe from feeling happy.

The kids couldn't hurt Joe,
They tried, tried, tried.
They dropped things on his back
They lied, lied, lied, lied, lied.

But they couldn't stop Joe, 'or the waters lapping.
And they couldn't prevent Joe from being happy.

Bye-Bye!!!

A Do It Yourself Blog

Being that my creative well needs time to fill, I thought it would be fun if you wrote your own blog in this space! Yes, you get to be me more for a brief second... a way of entering my mind (a real dark place, so brace yourselves)...and go through the process I use in writing your own blog, pretending it is here, and hopefully laugh! That's the name of the game here, right? Free entertainment Joe style? Let's begin...

Step One: Look around the room and say "ummmm" a lot. You need to do several "ummmms" and several looks around the room in order to get optimum output. Don't... I repeat, DON'T skimp on this step.

Step Two: Get up from computer, say "Fuck it! I can't think of shit!".... have a smoke on balcony and look at the spiders named "Reggies 1-5." Non-smokers can skip the smoke part.

Step Three: Walk around room thinking, "Dear lord! I am a slob!" This step is also crucial. Self-loathing is an important step in the creative processes! It really, really is! Humor, or my humor, must flow freely from the pits of my dark, evil infested psyche where loathing of all sorts dwell... But, self-loathing helps point out nice, funny flaws. If it helps, also go into the bathroom which should never, ever be neglected and look at all the neglect.

Step Four: Pop popcorn. It doesn't add anything to the creative process, but it does make for a tasty snack (or dinner, in my case).

Step Five: Think about all the things that need to be done for work, and then not do it.

Step Six: Flip channels on the television... quickly turn TV off, because you've seen that same episode of "Scrubs" at least fifty gazillion times. Now say, "Back to the computer... Maybe I can write something."

Step Seven: Repeat step one.

Step Eight: Repeat step two.

Step Nine: Repeat step six.

Step Ten: Ignore cell phone as it rings. There is writing to be done! AND, you never answer the damn thing anyway.

Step Eleven: Look through the mental pictures of the day. Focus on all aspects of the day, both good and bad. Filter out the good images. Good images never, ever make for anything worth ranting about... or writing about. Focus on the bad... Anything unique about those moments? Pick one unique moment. Is it funny? Can you say anything about it worth mentioning? If not, say "FUCK! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME TODAY?" If it is go to step thirteen

Step Twelve: No unique moments during the day is not the end... Start thinking about the past... Anything interesting? No? Then say, "FUCK!!!! I am going to bed! Fuck this! Fuck this to hell!!! Who reads this shit anyway? This is bullshit! I am a hack! I have no talent! My life sucks! SUCKS!" Quickly have another smoke.. sneer at the spiders... go to bed. If yes, go to step thirteen.

Step Thirteen: You have your idea? Now, begin blog with the following: "I can't under stand why (insert unique moment) blows chunks!" Change that opening line several times until you have it right. Perhaps, interchange some good old fashioned swear words. I find those help convey meaning, and relieve stress.

Step Fourteen: Stream of consciousness... I just write... write... write.. whether it makes sense or just, well, blows chunks. Re-read what you write being careful to not see any spelling errors, grammar errors, missing words, and poor sentence structure. After all, you took English in college (or high school). Maybe find something you wrote that will bring it all together and fool people into thinking that you are clever.

Step Fifteen: Forget to hit "Publish Post" button, close window, and go to balcony for vice and then realize your mistake.

Step Sixteen: Go out to balcony with beer this time and drink it with an angry grimace.

Step Seventeen: Open up "Word" ... write blog there... and repeat the entire process.

Final Step (YAY!): Correctly post blog and hope for the best it isn't the shit you think it is.

So... now you are done, and you should have a nice mental picture of some crap piece of writing you can't believe came out of your mind for the whole world to enjoy. I hope the blog you imagined here is the best "Joe" blog you've ever written. After all, we must always continue to out do ourselves.

Later!

A Rant Like Nobody's Business!

I hate @$@ing $*^%* and all that belongs to that Q%(*ing club because of all the (*& and (*%Q& that goes on. I mean, un(*&)%ing bel*(&)able…. I can't believe that we as a *&)$* *)(&( society don't do anything about all the miserable ^&*()(*& bastards. Seriously, the more I *)(*&)*( and ^*%%^ the more %(&*()^& it makes me want to ^&%$&%$ every $&^%^*%^ I see!!! It is not enough that I must *&)*&)*& in addition to $*&^&%* all those ^*(&(&^)@% that favor that $^%$^&%! Am I to assume that @^%$^$ and &^%&$^ can just come in and tell me that $%&%^%(*& and @$^% will solve all the problems? $^&%&$! I say! Seriously, if we are to accept the fact that ^%^&^ and @^$^%^$, then we must have our %^^&%$ examined. I am not sure $&%^&$ is any answer to all the &(*&&(*^ in this world. Now, if you ask me, %$*&(*^( to all those that favor the $*&*&(^(ing thing. Honestly, don't waste my $*&^*(&^( time with all that &%&^&%$ and ^&%&%$. Solutions! WE NEED ^&$^%$ SOLUTIONS! Not the $*&^%*%^ we usually get. How can one $*&*%ing %$*^(*&^ think that is all we need to $**^*%^ do? It isn't enough… NOT NEARLY ENOUGH!!! So, get $*&^&(*& and go $*&^%*^&% with that horse! Fuck!

Thank you very much for reading.

P.S. I really LOVE popcorn. It's really, really good!