Happy....

Easter and shit!

Easter Candy

I picked some little things for the nieces and nephew for Easter. Not much, but a little something to say, "I think about you." Yeah, I miss them. Irregardless of some of the stupid shit they do, or the way they act. I miss them... But, that's not the point. The point was ... well, I was looking at the Easter candy and none of it appealed to me. Anyway, I stalked about the Easter kiosk, is what it actually was... and, as I turned around the kiosk to look at the other side, there was an end cap full of wine. Yes, wine by the Easter Candy... And, of course I thought to myself, "Holy shit! What do they give the kids for Easter in this town!?!?!?" It made me chuckle. I needed that.

It being St. Joseph's Day and all, I thought I would end this little blog with one of St. Joseph's better sayings: "You're having a what!?!?!?"

Yeah!

Happy St. Joseph's Day!

Lima Bean!!!

Puts the "Fun" in Funny...

Oh, I wish that my subject were true... But, I can’t say that. My antics are legendary in my own mind. But, at least I am legend somewhere, I guess. We can’t always have it the way we want it. We can’t always get what we want... But, as the Stones say, "You can always get what you need." As far as I am concerned, the Stones were on some acid trip when they coined that little gem of wisdom. Get what you need? What the hell? I swear, Jagger... If I ever meet you, I sure as hell will give you what you need. A few choice words from this fellow.... That will show him! Get what you "need"... Who the hell are you kidding!?!?!

Okay, don’t know where that came from. I never really thought about his lyrics until this moment in time. I throw it out to people as some flippant response to their "oh woah is me’s" It sounds good. Makes people happy. I sound cool because I know a Stones lyric. There are times where I just don’t have the wisdom. I can only listen and nod. It comes in handy for lack of responses. Maybe that is something I can do... and that is come up with better, more from the heart, responses. There are times Dylan, the Stones, Led Zeppelin... Pink Floyd... they just don’t work. It needs to come from the heart... I want it to come from the heart....

Needs... Needs... Needs... What are my needs? What do I need? Jagger says I can always get what I need. Perhaps he is right. However, we must know what we need in order to get what we need. On some level he is right. I need to go to sleep. In a few minutes I will get that need when my head hits that pillow....I hope. Most nights I actually lay there for an enternity wondering if some ghost people will suck me into the closet and I can only talk through the television (oh, wow... a Poltergiest reference. How lame! That’s where you KNOW I’ve used up any witicism... especially since I am attacking, for no reason, a pretty fucking good Stones song... Joe... Joe... Joe... SHAME!!!) I also need $20 so I can eat lunch for the week. I will go to the cash station in the morning and get that need. So, yeah, perhaps Jagger is right. I actually WANT $40... I don’t have $40... I just need $20. I can get what I need. I also want a water bed, but I have my bed, which is all that I need. So, yeah, on that level, I guess Jagger has a point.

But, on metaphysical levels, I am not sure what it is I need. I guess I just want what we all want... happiness, stablity, comfort. Three simple needs, I think. I have none of it! So, fuck you Jagger!!! Wait, there are times I am very happy. Like yesterday, for example, I was happy to be driving with the iPod up and down I-55. It’s an opportunity to just listen to my library of music and have remeberances that each song represents... For example, I heard a Jewel song. I had the following rememberance: "What the hell is that doing on my iPod? Jewel???? I don’t remember ever getting that song! What the hell was I thinking???" Yes, a wonderful reminescene of my days of youth. Then I heard the following: "Hmmm... ’The Homecoming Queen has Got a Gun’." (an 80’s novelty classic)... and I suddenly remembered the following: "I don’t remember high school. But, I am sure, the homecomig queen in my day would probably have wanted us all dead, too." Another trip down memory lane, I tell you. I felt so ALIVE!!!! I jest of course, I really do use the music to jar loose any sort of memory that may be associated... I use that stuff for fodder to be used at later dates, like when somebody needs some inspiration! But, I also like the time to be one with my thoughts and just ponder. I had a numerlogy done the other week, and it actually said, "You are a thinker... an intellectual. You need private time for exploration and thought." I was like, "WOW!!! Thanks for telling me something I already knew! You psychic folks are fantastic! I am so enlightened!!" But, yeah, I was happy... the stable part? Not so much. The comfort part... working on it. But, it’s been a struggle, and I don’t think I am getting what I need. So, yeah, Fuck You, Jagger!

Heh... Boy oh boy do I wield the bullshit like nobody’s business... Sometimes, like the above, I like to put some things down just so I can look at it and say, "Wow! That came from your head? Dude! That... well... you’re full of shit, buddy, but there are some funny parts." I love to throw out the cynical just to amuse myself... I hope you’re amused, too... But seriously, deep down, I’m a warm, gushy Lima bean!

Prost!

Happy St. Patty's!!!

I must admit, I am not that into St. Patrick's Day as I once was. I don't know if it comes with age, or there is only so much beer one could drink in a lifetime, or possibly I just hate crowds. Take this weekend for example. I had an opportunity to join the masses for the debauchery surrounding the St. Patty's Day parade in my locale. Instead, I opted to sleep instead (as I didn't arise until after the noon hour and slept intermittently throughout the afternoon). I just didn't want to go, fight crowds, get drunk on beer I won't like (except Guinness, but those don't sit well in quantity), and, well leave myself open for stupidity. I am very good at stupidity, mind you. I prefer doing that in small company, where it is safe for my stupid acts... mainly with words. I can have a big mouth. Anyway, I am sure you don't want to read about my getting old here in the gameroom. You want some old-fashioned fun.... Which, at present, I can't think of.... I mean, how can one go on about anything when one chooses to sleep all day Saturday instead of reaping the benefits of going out there and creating stories with beer, the color green, and total strangers?

Sigh.

I am losing my edge. Old age is creeping up on me, I reckon. This just can't be! IT CAN'T ....

So, how about five random thoughts? How about that! Just five!

1. ........ Happy St. Patty's Day!!!! AND, pre-St. Joseph's Day... and Easter for all that it matters.

2. I forgot it was Easter on Sunday. My haircut lady reminded me. Thanks, Haircut Lady!

3. I was called a "Salty Motherfucker" this weekend.. and told that's a good thing. I didn't realize it meant: cynical and bitter. Well, I can't argue with that now can I!

4. I am a "salty motherfucker!"

5. I am bitter and cynical.

Okay, that wraps it up. Can't you tell I am struggling for rational thought? Okay... okay, I had a couple Guinness... It is St. Pat's for crying out loud.

Prost!

Why?

Why is everybody so surprised that my fish is still alive? What am I going to do, kill him? I swear to GOD!!! I can take care of a beta fish. Yes, for those who care, Ike is still alive. He's been with me over a year-and-a-half now, and he's still kicking. In fact, he's actually pretty well traveled. On long weekends, I take him with me to swim in one spot in a different spot. Sure, Ike isn't exactly a dog. He doesn't travel well, but let me tell you. He's a trooper. There have been several times where I almost killed him. Not to long ago, Ike almost saw the inside of the kitchen sink drain. Little guy jumped out of the net as I was trying to transfer him to a new bowl, but he made it because I daintily scooped him up and put him in the bowl. I am sure he had a few choice fish words for me, as I would had I almost been drained. AND, he almost augured in last year around this time because of another lousy bowl transfer. I hurt his little fin. He couldn't swim, but like his owner, he pulled through because he's got moxy. So, Ike is indeed a wonder fish. He gets excited when he gets fed, and there are times I see him nozzle into the marbles I bought him. I take care of Ike. In my little world, he's all I got. So, he'll be treated very well. Right Ike? "Glup!" He says. I think that's fish for "Joe, I love you." Or, it could be "Joe, you forgot to de-chlorinate the water! Help!" .... But, I will go with the former.

COLD DAY IN HELL!!!

Illinois in the finals of the big ten tournament?

HOLY SHIT!!!!

I can't fucking believe it!

Holy Shit!!!

The Illini managed to advance to the semi-finals...

I feel hell freezing over.

Pac-Man Fever!!!

First, one must comment on the victory that the Illini threw up on the board this afternoon.... WOAH!!!! How in the world did they pull that shit off???? I’ve watched diligently the whole season, and everything the Illini did wrong... they did again after the 11:00 minute mark in the second half... It’s like clockwork. The game ends at that 11:00 minute mark... They couldn’t, all season, pull it out. But today... with 15 seconds left, of all people, Frazier pulled in a two point basket!?!?!? Frazier who can’t hit shit? Illini by one????? How in the world!?!?! I am speechless, as far as that is concerned. I am happy, but... Where was this shit against Arizona? Maryland? Duke? Indiana? Michigan State? Some team I never heard of? Anyway, good job, boys... you have lived yet again to choke another day!!! And, that is at 5:30pm tomorrow night... Where should I go to drown my sorrows as I watch the game tomorrow evening? Hmmm... But, I shall figure that out tomorrow... Tonight, I shall bask in the glory that is Illini Basketball ... And, at least I get my one night. I think I deserve it considering the shit I watched all season long... not to mention the jabs, the jokes, the sneers sent in my direction. It’s tough being me.

Pac-man... I was bored the other evening, and downloaded Super Pac-man to my phone... only to suddenly remember that I always sucked at Pac-man. I loaded up the game just a few moments ago, and around the 11:00 minute mark, in the second half, I choked. Damn ghosts!!!! One would think it would be quite easy to move a yellow circle around a maze and eat ... gold rings??? Were those gold rings? Anyway, it appeared to me, I wasn’t good at eating those gold rings. My high score is hardly something to brag about. I could brag about it to my fish, I suppose. I bet he’d be a worse Pac-man player then I. Then again, he is a crafty fish, I think. You can never tell with those Beta fish. They have these shifty, blank eyes that one can’t read. I bet he’s plotting something right now. Actually, I bet he’s hungry. I haven't fed him yet... Wait, I did feed him. OH NO! I’m becoming forgetful! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! Maybe it’s the stress the Illini basketball team has given me... or maybe the fact I suck at Pac-man. Who knows... sigh.

Anyway, I really should get some work done. I think it would be fun to do. Who am I kidding. I hate doing work in the off hours, but I choose this life for myself. Time to grin and bear it.

Go Illini!

Fuck you, Pac-man!

A Later Date....

95 flavors of extract? Holy shit! That's... that's a plethora of flavor... Do you know how many combinations you can make with 95 flavors of extract? .... Anybody know? I... well, not much on math. What's the equation? Is that a factorial type thing? I don't know... But, that's a shit load of flavor. You can mix several flavors and get something... like banastrawblueberrybutterscotch... Oh, how about vanilochocalatemellowmintyrootbeercremeolicious? Holy shit! That's... that's just incredible. 95 flavors. 95 fucking flavors! Each are probably a different color! Wow.

That's... That's... wow.

Personally, I just like vanilla... But, fuck vanilla when you can have popcornopciopacocanutbutterpeachapricotcreme!

Damn! A flavor sensation!

Sitting here...

isn't good for my soul. The weather just got nice. I should be out there! I think I am going over to that deck, grab a chair, and sit enjoying what's left of the nice temperature. I've been inside ALL day, in a cave, working... with ... people. I am beginning to lose FAITH in humanity. I just wanted everybody to know that. I used to have faith, but too often I am reminded that we are doomed. DOOMED!

Today I really want to be up North... in the woods... without nary a person around... just me, a book, a beer, and silence. Sigh.... 3 more months!!!! Thus, my countdown begins.

Anyway, I am not exactly in much of a mood to write. It's just going to become downer nonsense... I want to be FUNNY!

Like, ha ha, funny... not, just "clever" funny... Fucking, outrageous, fucking funny!

The sounds of... daylight savings time...

It is late. I should be sleeping. YET, I am not sleeping. Not even close to it. I. HATE. TIME. ZONE. CHANGES.

What to do about that? I know! COMPLAIN!!!!

Downer...

Boy, can I be a downer or what? Did you read some of that earlier crap? What the fuck is that shit? Well, I shall make it up to you with .... the following crap:

It’s as they say... I don't know what "they" say... I was simply just trying to get the creative going. I am not quite on the "day-light saving" thing and find myself just kinda hoovering about my small little world. I know I will regret this tomorrow, but that's tomorrow.

It's time for some RANDOM thoughts!!!!!

1) I am not quite sure, but it seems to me most people really don't think before they... Fuck... Not good.

2) This is really the first random thought, because my "first" random thought bombed really, really badly. I was going for clever, but instead I ... didn't clever. It didn't click. I hate that. I have a thought... thought mutates... thought gets nixed by my internal censoring devices. So, thought number one should be ignored.

3) I really should try my hand at some serious writing action. I know I can do it. I am smart enough to create something of some sort of magnitude. Instead, I tend to go for the silly. And, surely, I am the only person that gets a kick out of the crap I try to write. But, serious writing, yeah... that's something I should really try hard to work on. I've read numurous books, all in the serious realm. I can understand them. Why can't I do that!?!? Obviously, serious is not a strength. And, neither is spelling.

4) Shoot, I had a great random thought for number four, and it left me. What the hell was I thinking?

5) Think... think... think... think... think...think... think... think.. think.. think... (this is random thinking)... think.. .think.. .think... think...

6) That was just dumb. That last thing? Dumb! DUMB!

7) I've always felt that my writing has always been "clever"... that it is actually beyond clever, but imagnitive. But, no. I don't think it is really all that great. Seriously, it's not at all very witty. And, the jokes are just junevile to say the least. Entertianing? Maybe, on some level, perhaps. Maybe I should just call it what it really is... TIME WASTING... Which, actually, is pretty cool, too. If there is anything I know how to do, probably better then anyone else, is waste time. Oh yeah!

8) I remembered that thought that was mentioned earlier... Did you know Hitler wanted to kill off the Slavic nationalities in addition to the Jewish nationality? That fucking, lunatic bastard! I did know this, to some extent. Something about 4,000,000 killed besides Jewish. Most of those were Poles. That fucking prick! Yes, the Jewish holacuast makes me weep, but to think about what might have happend if Hitler wasn't stopped. This... this... this crappy, ass blog wouldn't have exsited! That BASTARD!!! HEY!!! A serious thought! I CAN DO IT! I CAN DO IT!!!

9) I need to eat other things besides Popcorn.. not because of nutrition, but I don't want to ever lose the taste for one of my favorite foods. That's been happening a lot lately. One of these days it will be down to cheese and cracker, and I don't want that at all.

10) I am thinking of skipping out on Thursday afternoon.... Shhh!!! But, I probably won't. I am ... well, honest. Fuck.

11) I need to find some time to seriously find my apartment. My home hasn't been much of concern to me... my shit is everywhere. I am the only one here, besides my fish. He doesn't show much concern for my lack of apartment caring. Hell, I'm single. Who do I have to impress... Ike just wants fresh water every so often, which I gave him today. In fact, it was a complete bowl change. The water is really clean.

12) When are these thoughts going to finish, you ask? Soon. I usually go to 15... and this is merely a creative excercise to see how much crap I can write without stopping for a breath. Yes, folks, a mental excercise to keep things sharp. I have been rather forgetful lately and things are blurring... and I am losing my creative edge, that is, if I had a creative edge. Then again, I have been elsewhere, actually. BUT, if all goes well, I think I may have a plan! A PLAN! Which, is nice, because I need new goals. Oh, that's funny.. A plan? ME? PLAN? That's like, well, like ummmm... oh for the want of a metaphor. I llike being aloof, as for now, I think that's the way to be.

13) Thirteen, they say, is a rather unlucky number. Just thought you should know.

14) I think it is time to start wrapping this puppy up. It's late. I have things to do. The more I waste time here, the more I am missing out on wasting time eslewhere. And, I need to be elsewhere more often. I have cabin fever, that's for sure...

15) I bid you a fond farewell, and have a wonderful time doing whatever wonderful people do.

This Song Cracks Me Up!!!

Puddle of Mudd
She Hates Me

"She Hates Me"

Met a girl, thought she was grand
fell in love, found out first hand
went well for a week or two
then it all came unglued

in a trapped trip I can't grip
never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
then I started to realize
I was living one big lie

She fucking hates me
trust
she fucking hates me
la la la love
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away

She was queen for about an hour
after that shit got sour
she took all I ever had
no sign of guilt
no feeling of bad, no

In a trapped trip I can't grip
never thought i'd be the one who'd slip
then I started to realize
I was living one big lie

[Chorus]

that's my story, as you see
learned my lesson and so did she
now it's over and i'm glad
'cause i'm a fool for all i've said

[Chorus]

la la la la la la la la la love
Trust
la la la la la la la la la love
Trust
and she tore my feelings like I had none
she fucking hates me

Fucking Stubborn...

Boy oh boy am I fucking stubborn.... stupid Slavic ancestors... YOU DID THIS TO ME!?!?!?

No wonder Hitler had plans to eliminate US from the face of the planet after he was done elsewhere (The Zookeepers Wife). But, it would be my guess that We'd be tooo stubborn to die.

It's a family trait... we're all stubborn.

I could write a song...

Who's Stubborn? Joe is Stubborn!!
Stubborn! Stubborn! Stubborn!
Why's he stubborn? Why not be stubborn?
Stubborn! Stubborn! Stubborn!"
Does he have to be stubborn? Sure, be stubborn!!
Stubborn! Stubborn! Stubborn!
Joe is stubborn!
Yeah!


Fuck...

I have to go work on a musical.

It's the waiting...

I think I now have about 20 applications in the pipeline. I fear that I won't get a bite. I fear that I haven't done enough here in one of the few oasis's in the abyss that is Illinois to have anybody of importance even take a look at my resume. I am so fucking bored, and all I can do is just wait it out. The waiting is draining me, in addition to putting me in a foul mood most of time. Where the fuck am I going? What is next on the docket? What lies ahead? It's really getting to me. I pause in trying to begin a life down here. I don't want to get close to anybody. I don't want to start anything up. I plan on ending this chapter, right? What's the point? Nobody has given me any reason to stay, really. Their arguments are easily counter-argued. I take that as my mind being made quite up. It's time to go. That's what I tell myself everyday. And, something always comes up that reminds me of that fact, too! I love my friends here... But, two years ago, I left some friends behind. It's a Catch-22......

So, as I think about directions, I am very reminded of that Simon and Garfunkel song... "The Boxer." The lyrics go as follows... at least the relevant part:

"Now the years are rolling by me
They are rocking evenly
And I am older than I once was
And younger than I'll be, but that's not unusual.
No, it isn't strange
After changes upon changes
We are more or less the same
After changes we are more or less the same

Li la li...

And I'm laying out my winter clothes, wishing I was gone, goin' home
Where the New York City (Middle of Illinois) winters aren't bleedin' me, leadin' me, goin' home

In the clearing stands a boxer, and a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders of every glove that laid him down or cut him
'Til he cried out in his anger and his shame
I am leaving, I am leaving, but the fighter still remains
Yes he still remains

Li la li...

(End of Song)

And, the opportunity to leave hasn't even surfaced... and it seems so far away.... It's really gotten a hold of my thoughts. Most times it is all I can think about. So, what if I can't find a new gig? What if? I soooo want a change. I want to go back to being little old me. I miss me... I feel like I've gotten mixed up in the quagmire...... SHIT! I know, this sounds like a bunch of useless rubbish. I sound like I am whining (I am just getting my thoughts down so the world can see... It, well, it makes me feel better... chances are I will return to this blog, read it, and say, "FUCK! What the fuck!?!?! Joe, you idiot? What were you thinking?????" And, then remove it hoping nobody saw it). I should clearly state that my location isn't all that bad. There are some good things. I have met some really good people (and some people that make me scratch my head in complete wonder --- but, you get that anywhere). The thing is, I am not convinced that I belong here. I have always told friends, "Once a burbanite, always a burbanite." You can't get it out of your blood. I really enjoyed bopping around Chicagoland when I was there... Actually, I still enjoy bopping around Chicagoland when I go there (across the "ABYSS"... across the endless amount of farmland and nothingness). Right now, I have nothing, other then my original plan.... come here, get experience for two years, move on. Since that's all I've really got in terms of plan, I might as well see it through... right or wrong... And, (my sister laughed at me for this), I want to return, eventually, to the world of Academia and get my Masters in History.... Why not? It's something... and that opens even more doors. AND, I may become so educated, I won't be able to communicate with anybody!?!?! Talk about loneliness. But, what the fuck? What's yet another piece of paper on the wall from a university... I've got three... and three is a crowd. Four... That's a party!

Later

I can't sleep...

The time change has fucked up my system real good. My body says I have a little time to putter around. The clock says I don't. So, I figured I would fuck around here at my blog a little bit in hopes to loll myself to sleep out of sheer boredom with my own writing. So far it isn't working.

I don't have much to report, other then I spent the afternoon putting in my applications at various web-sites in hopes of finding my way out of here. Last weekend I crossed the "abyss" yet again, and as I did so I hoped that my countless journeys through there would hopefully come to an end soon. That trip literally kills me. At mile marker 145 there is rest area. A billboard claims that Nostradamus predicted the wonderful experience of a Steak N' Shake at exit 160. And, there is a University Farm at mile marker 168. That's what I do as I cross that abyss. I memorize mile-markers. I often find myself counting them either up or down depending on my direction of travel. Then, I make a mental note of something interesting. Needless to say, the memorization process is quite easy. There is nothing all that interesting to note. I think my car hates that drive as well. Every once in awhile, it makes a crick noise kinda like a bored horse might make on its journey from one desolate locale in the west to another. I guess you might say I am bored to tears with my existence here. I am not saying that I can find excitement when I move back North, but I know that there is more to do. It is the adventures in the Chicagoland I look forward too, now that I feel I can make them.

I went to see the "Kite Runner" today with some friends. I felt the filmmakers left some key things plot points out dulling down the emotional experience I had with the book. I should've known that the book would be better. It's a given, yet I hoped the film would have some emotional weight to it. ... My blog did a weird thing just there... knocking me out in mid-thought. Anyway, my prevailing thought as I watched the film was, "Why in the world did humans settle in that desolate area? There is nothing, I mean nothing there!" I don't think the filmmakers wanted me to have such thoughts.

Well, I think that about does it. I should really try to get some ZZZZs. I have work.

OMG!!!

It's my life!?!?!?

SNIFF

Back to the Drawing Board...

I was with friends from college the other day. I told them about my "travel" idea... that is, to go to Duluth, Minnesota for bragging rights.... That is, I WAS going there until I heard, "I've been there..."

"What?" I said, "You've been where?"
"Duluth," she said, "on a canoing trip."
"Really?" I said in a very disappointed way.
"Yes...."

FUCK!!!

FUCK!!!

Sigh...

Now, I don't even have Duluth to look forward to anymore.

FUCK!

GOOD GOD!!!

I just don't want to do this anymore... This... this sitting in front of the computer!!!?!?!

So, I think I shall sit in front of the TV.

More Fun With Conversation Hearts!

Valentine's Day has come and gone. I know this. In fact, I am rather happy about that fact. Nothing irritates me more then frilly shit mixed in with the "happy" colors of pink, white, and red. It is enough to make cynics, like myself, puke. Anyway, not to long ago I ran an experiment regarding a bag of conversation hearts. That is, I talked with that bag. Well, the conversation didn't go very well and I was quite discouraged. I was out to a store not long ago, and I found a bag of Brach's Big Conversation hearts for 75% off!!! I thought to myself, "Maybe the bag I had last month wasn't much into conversation. Maybe this bag will present more possibilities." So, here we go... a bag of Brach's conversation hearts (last bag was made by Necco) and me....

Me: Hello, Brach's Bag of Conversation Hearts! What's up?
Conversation Heart (CH): "Awesome"
Me: Oh? Does that mean you are good? OR, is there something awesome I should know about?
CH: "Head/Heals"
Me: What?
CH: "Heart throb"
Me: Oh, um... gee thanks.
CH: "E-mail me"
Me: 'Okay, what's your address?
CH: "Good times"
Me: Is that your address? I am not following.
CH: "Guess Who?"
Me: Okay, you are a white conversation heart with pink lettering. But, what is your e-mail?
CH: "You rock"
Me: Thanks, I think... but, what about that e-mail address?
CH: "Talk to me"
Me: I am!
CH: "Sweet thing"
Me: What? Listen, I don't have time for shenanigans... (Now, there is a word not much used!)
CH: "Sweet thing"
Me: Quit trying to schmooze me...I am not in the mood. Now, do you want me to e-mail you or not?
CH: "No doubt"
Me: Then what is your e-mail address?
CH: "Heart throb"
Me: Heart throb at what?
CH: "Too cool"
Me: Yes, I know, getting an e-mail from me is totally cool. Now, Heart Throb at what domain?
CH: "Cool 4 me"
Me: I have never heard of that... are you pulling my leg? Cus.. if you are, I will eat you?
CH: "Good times"
Me: What, you fucking with me over e-mailing? I am not amused, Conversation heart.
CH: "Good 4 you"
Me: Hey! I don't think you fucking with me is good. Jesus!
CH: "You flirt"
Me: I am not flirting with you... can't you see my face getting red with anger, here?
CH: "Good 4 me"
Me: Oh, so you want me to be angry at you! I think that's fucked up!
CH: "I'm in love"
Me: Oh, that's fine. Dodge the issue.
CH: *smudged*
Me: Come again?
CH: "No doubt"
Me: You know, I am not getting you.
CH: "Good times"
Me: Okay, this conversation is getting stupid. I don't think you have anything pertinent to say. How about the recent election? What about that?!?!?
CH: "Honey Pie"
Me: Honey pie? ... How about Global warming?
CH: "Party time"
Me: Oh, I see... the idea of polar ice caps melting and flooding our coastal cities appeals to you?
CH: "You flirt"
Me: You know what? This was a bad idea. I am outta here. You're just a stupid bag of candy with absolutely nothing to say....
CH: "Good times"
Me: You know what? Fuck you! I'm done.
CH: "Friends 4 Ever"
Me: I don't think so... bye.
CH: "Too Cool"
Me: Bite me.


Okay, so conversations with Conversation Hearts ... not a good idea. I suggest you go and converse with, say... people. Candy? Nah... They maybe sweet, but dumb as a rock.

Later

Get Up and Dance!!!

It's Casmir Pulaski Day!

WOO HOO!!!!

Now, go out and help liberate a third world nation from imperialist scum!

WORLD TRAVELER!!!

I think it must be in the stars. I think it might be because I happen to be in the wrong places, but at the right times. I think...where was I? I was distracted with something else for the last few minutes and forgot I was even working on this... Let me review... wait just a second... Oh, yes... anyway, lately, I've been listening to conversations about travel. Last night, for example, a bunch of architects I was with (my good friend is a project manager for a firm) were talking about all the cool exotic places they've been... Paris, Munich, Hong Kong, Puerto Rico, Mexico City, a place in Mexico I've never heard of, another place in Mexico I've never heard of... just to name a few. AND, they were aboug 9-11 years younger then me (other then my project manager friend who's my age). Of course I am thinking, "What the hell is this?!?!? How can this be???" I've gotten to England and Canda... That's it. Great Britian was rather cool, but Canada? Needless to say, I was discouraged and rather left out. So, I decided that I was going to show them all. I am going to the one place nobody would ever go. I am going to a place nobody would ever consider. I am going to go to the place that will surely give ME all the bragging rights in the world..... I didn't know where that was. That is, up until recently. Yeah, this summer.... I am going to the place of all places...

DULUTH, MINNESOTA!!!

YEAH BABY!!!!

DULUTH!!!

Expect a postcard, Fuckers!!!








I know what you're asking... Duluth? What on Earth is in Duluth? I really can't answer that. I don't know! That's the point! I don't think anybody knows. But, I am going to find out... oh yeah... I am going to find out!