Foolish Thought....

You don't think now... that... no... you couldn't think that? Do you?

Arrgggg... I am running of out of free time, folks. I keep committing myself to this and that... And, it appears that most weekend days in October are quickly filling up! I should be happy about this, but to be honest... I am getting tired!

Poop... Oh, don't I owe a story or something? I'll get around to it. It's just, well, you see, the odds are that when I actually get around to writing, I have just gotten back from my walk. And, then, after that, I just don't want to do shit. Take care!

Oh, and happy almost October! COLUMBUS DAY ROCKS!!! All those parades and shit.

A quick ramble..

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAMMMble.

Sigh...

As I was walking this evening, I couldn't help but notice a shitload of toads all over the place. Is there a biblical plague I should be aware of?

FUCK!

JUST FUCK!

What a beast of a week... First this happened! Then this happened!! Then THAT happened!!! AND, nothing... nothing to dull the pain! FUCK!

I also need to learn how to say "no!" .... .


NO! I can type it just fine, I see. Now, If I can just learn to say it.


Later....

What? What was that? You're asking when I am going to finish "Saturday" ... the trials and tribulations of me on Saturday, September 13, 2008??? You really care? Heh... Who knew? I don't know. It'll get done... sometime before 9/13/2009.... That I promise. Now, please, I need some peace.

Random Thought...

Little Bunny Foo Foo is psychotic! Bopping field mice on the head for no apparent reason? WTF???? Why are we teaching kids this tale!?!?!? AND, that good fairy, who ain't so good if you think about it, allowed Little Bunny Foo Foo several chances to change its ways! Several field mice had to pay because the good Fairy didn't throw the book at that damn bunny the first time around!

Sigh... now I know why the world is the way it is.... Too many Bunny Foo Foos... and weak-ass good Fairies... We're doomed!

Before I continue my

misadventures two weeks ago, was it? ... I thought I would share my favorite Dylan song... I can't get enough of it... I have several different versions on my iPod... Here are the lyrics and stuff.

Don't Think Twice, It's All Right

It ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It don't matter, anyhow
An' it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If you don't know by now
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on
Don't think twice, it's all right

It ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
I'm on the dark side of the road
Still I wish there was somethin' you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin' anyway
So don't think twice, it's all right

It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
Like you never did before
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
I can't hear you any more
I'm a-thinkin' and a-wond'rin' all the way down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don't think twice, it's all right

I'm walkin' down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But goodbye's too good a word, gal
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right

What's the deal?

Everything, it seems, is made with high fructose corn syrup.... That's rather odd... Why is this sweetener so popular? Why not high fructose pine cleanser? Why not high fructose pipe cleaners? What's wrong with all that stuff?

I'm beat....

In prison...

Metaphysically, .... I am in prison... On that note, let's begin part two of....

SATURDAY!!!!
9/13/08
Part Two
Part one is below somewhere... This is Part two... PART TWO!

There is so much I could write... so much yelling I could do right now... Just so much. Yeah, if you couldn't tell from the undertones from my precious posting, I am not a happy camper. It is so many things interacting with one another ... erggg.... Time to dig into that "fuck-it" bucket I made myself.... Speaking of moments for the fuck-it bucket, my moment at Meijer really didn't qualify. There was nobody in there... it was me, and a handful of others, that decided to brave the weather and head to the store. I walked aimlessly looking for a poncho to wear to what looked as if it would be a soggy beer fest... A beer fest I really couldn't enjoy. I remember the rain just pelting the roof causing a virbiration into the store... It sounded like a billion metal pellats being dropped from some point above... crinkle... crinkle...crinkle... I briefly thought, "Maybe Racine isn't such a good idea." That thought was replaced with, "Oh, here are the... Oh, I don't need that Fighting Illini umbrella... maybe?? No!" ... to the thought, "Why are there only green ponchos" ... to finally, "Hmm... Lake Street will be closed when I head back, I need an alternate route." As I passed by one of the checkers, I overheard a manager on the phone... "It's okay if you're late. I understand about basements flooding." It was then I was transported back to that time my sister's basement flooded, and I headed out into a rain similar to the one outside, to find a submersable pump. I pulled up to a Meijer similar to the one I was standing in... only to read the sign: "Grand Opening SATURDAY!!!" ... It was a Friday night..... I was really wet... I drove to a far away place to find an open Meijer... to get that submersible pump... to fight the flood waters in my Sister's basement for... 24 hours was it? Oh, miserable memeory... I became concerned about my sister's basement.... I became concerned for her kids. I raced home.

I couldn't race home. Streets were flooding everywhere! Remember that earlier parking lot flood near the old barber shop? It was overflowing into a major roadway... into back yards. I felt like a dick driving through that small river... creating wake. I wasn't the only one. I made it home. The power to my sister's place was still on... I was a little happy, because I found that her sump pump was still working... every 5 seconds...but still working. Guilt started to form in my head. "I can't leave these kids!" I said to myself. I left them. My friend was counting on me. And, I figured everything at home would be fine as long as the power stayed on. I couldn't think of a reason it would go off... There were no winds, and the rain, by this time, was a trickle. Still the backyard had a new pond. I told the kids, "GET EVERYTHING OFF THE BASEMENT FLOOR!!! JUST IN CASE!" When I was satisfied that they were doing something in the basement, I left.

It wasn't two minutes when I approached a lake in some culdasac (sp?).... It also managed to flood the road... the road I needed to get to Irving Park Road. I, in a brief moment, for some reason, decided to portage that lake...in my car.... I had been there a few times walking. I didn't think that that part of the road could be that deep... I WAS WRONG. I knew at that moment I had made a mistake... My car entered that lake like how a Wisconsin Dells Duck enters the Wisconsin River. There was a wall of water that completely encased my car... I heard a thunk... I heard a thud... I heard a perlunk... I hit the gas and said aloud..."Keep moving! Keep moving! Keep moving!" Somehow I made it through the lake... I pumped the gas... I looked behind me... several onlookers didn't look happy at the wake I put into their front yards... Who can blame them! I did a bad, stupid thing... Yet, I moved on.

TO BE CONTINUED... (It's a long one, folks... Oh, did I say I was unhappy? Did I? Sillies! I wrote it!)

WANT TO HEAR A STORY??? (Part one).

Want To Hear A Story?

There are things in life that I have already accepted or have just begun to accept…

First, I realized that I am not physically attractive. What can you say? I was born with Neanderthal genes. I don’t blame my relatives. I’m just a freak. I move on.

Second, nothing ever…ever…ever comes easy. There is always a struggle… ALWAYS, and I am not often times successful with my plans. However, no plan is a good plan without a contingency plan. I am always planning and re-planning. CONSTANTLY!

Third, I will never get what I want… This goes with my second point above.

Finally, I have… what was called by friends, relatives, and myself as “THE JOE FACTOR”…. It’s that dark cloud that follows me… causes some pretty bad luck. There was a time where I left earlier than most for appointments in order to compensate for hitting every single, damn, fucking red-light. I am … how should… it… Friends notice my bad luck, folks. If people notice the constant bullshit that surrounds me, then I know that there is something to this “Joe Factor”…. The thing about the “Joe Factor” is it comes in massive waves, like the wave I am currently surfboarding… Then, for a couple months, I don’t have any luck… It’s what I call “Status Quo.” So, either I have bad luck or not luck at all. That’s the “Joe Factor.” The “Joe Factor” is pretty much at the heart and foundation of the following tale… sit back, relax, maybe grab a cold one, and enjoy the bullshit that is my life… I call this story:

SATURDAY!

I didn’t see it coming… I wish I did, but my guess is if I did see it coming, then I probably wouldn’t have had as much fun as I did because I would’ve known about my new “freakishness,” and therefore already living my new found, forced upon me, pious lifestyle. I’m adjusting, but I still find that I have hang-ups… and feelings of “THIS IS UTTER BULLSHIT! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!” when I discover new foods I can’t eat, or get phone calls from friends that have been drinking having a great time, and I am stuck … at home… on the couch… sober… seeing the world as it truly is…unable to hide behind that fake curtain that alcohol (and smoking) were able to provide for me…. This week has been chaotic…. And I have NOTHIING… NOTHING to help dull the pain. All I have is my stubbornness… and mission to move forward at all costs no matter what…. You know what? I’ve avoided making plans in order to avoid drinking situations…. I am not ready for that. This week, I’ve wanted to quit my job, pack up me shit, and move out of the armpit of Central Illinois. I want a fresh start… and just… you see… basically, I am having adjustment issues. I’ve had them since I returned to central Illinois… and, it’s been hard. Yeah, I know, life is hard… I don’t want to hear it… Yeah.. yeah… lucky… lucky… I feel like I am in a prison now… being punished for GOD knows what… AND, the feelings of loneliness that have suddenly surfaced because of all of this mess known as my “health” issue… It doesn’t help.. Oh, starting to digress… focusing…focusing…

Yes, I really can’t drink anymore because of health issues and genetic factors. But, before I knew this, I had purchased tickets to a beer fest in Racine, WI. I’d been to that one last year. I threw a restaurant beeper into Lake Michigan while attending… Good times… Good times. Anyway, I had planned to just eat the $30.00 I spent on the ticket, and just not go. Seriously, why torture myself and be around drunkards when I can only take an occasional sip? After some thought, I told my friends that I would be the Designated Driver. I wanted to be a good sport. I also decided to make this my final, last beer fest… I called it “an end to an era” adventure… A good-bye, closure type thing, at least to this aspect of my life… While the door is not fully closed to my “beer” hobby… as I will keep it open a crack… my drinking days are pretty much over. … sniff.. So, last Friday night, I trekked Northwards to Chicagoland to be a “good sport.” It was raining. I learned on that drive that I still have smoke residue on my windshield… and it was causing fogging issues… that got old real quick… I made it to Chicago without incident…..
Saturday morning was rather bleak looking the moment I woke up. I could sense from the meager light from the window that it was raining outside. I turned off the alarm, and had my first thought of the day. “Shit! This beer fest could really, really suck instead of sucking with this rain. FUCK!” That thought sets our tone.

I showered and prepared to go have my hair cut. I never found a hair cutting specialist around here, where I live. I am up North often enough, so I decided to just keep that hair cutter type person. It began pouring as I left the front door. It poured rain as I drove. It poured rain as I ran into the barber shop. It stopped as soon as I took a seat in the barber’s chair. I like this shop because it has a female barber working along two males. It’s an oddity, therefore I like it. It’s like having a Female bassist in a rock band… unique and cool. She gets to be the lucky barber this time that cuts me hair. We chat about our weekend plans. “I’m going to Racine for a beer fest,” I say. Soon we are talking about beer. She mentions the weather. “It must of rained really hard,” she said. “Several roads on the way to work started to flood. In fact, the parking lot here was flooded.” We both look out the window. “It looks pretty good now,” she said. I think it was that moment it began to rain again. Her job is done. I paid her and I left…. Only to halt at the curb as I looked at my car…in the pouring rain… sitting in the parking lot…which began flooding…again… My car was sitting in a about a half-foot of water. “Damn!” I scowl. I take my shoes off and wade out to the island that was my car. Yes, I was wet, but my car moved out of the lake that was the parking lot just fine. “I need rain-gear,” I say to myself. It was off to Meijer I went. …

Emergency Vehicles passed me on Lake Street. I didn’t think much of it until I rounded that bend and looked ahead of me. Water began pouring into the street from some nearby water reservoir. The Emergency Vehicles began to situation themselves on the roadway to prevent traffic from going further. Luckily I got through, but those behind me weren’t so lucky. “I will have to find another way back to my sister’s house,” I say to myself. Meijer was empty. I could hear the pouring rain pelting the roof. It was then I wondered if the adventure to Racine, Wisconsin was really a good idea….

TO BE CONTINUED…

Sorry, Kids....

But, Dane Cook has got to go! What the fuck are you thinking?

Off to see the Wizard!!!

I screw around, but folks, I know my shit.

Peace!

FUCKING AROUND!

Unposted bullshit now posted bullshit... BOOYAH!

How many people have you dated in 2008?
Hmmmmmmmmmmm…… eh. I didn’t carbon date anybody either… I’d probably have better luck carbon dating, come to think of it.


How did you feel when you woke up today?
Like I should’ve not have done what I did to that one thing that was sitting there doing this and that forever and a day…in addition to all of that other stuff I felt it couldn’t possibly think what I thought, but in the end it worked out fine.


Do you want someone dead?
Jesus! I… no, I don’t want Jesus dead. I was merely thinking about what a drastic question. I wouldn’t want my worst enemy dead… suffering, sure, but not dead.


What are you thinking about right now?
“Sigh” … That’s what I thought… I had a mental sigh. Cool huh?


Do you wish someone was with you right now?
Hell no! It’s MY TIME! Mine! All mine! MINE! MINE! MINE!

What time did you go to sleep last night?
It was right after some Canadian sitcom on WGN called “Corner Gas”…. And before the next show on WGN that came after “Corner Gas”…. Canadians look just like us!


Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now?
Dick’s Sporting Goods…. I think… It could’ve been Wal-mart…. BUT, too make me sound cool, I will say Dick’s.

Ever kissed someone who smokes?
Yes…. I did. So there! Dated her too, all you fucking haters! I DIDN’T SMOKE AT THE TIME, EITHER!


Is someone on your mind right now?
If there was, I would say, “GET THE HELL OFF!!! That’s my head! IT HURTS! ASSHOLE!”


When was your last encounter with the police.

They wanted me to contribute to some fund… I said, “Can’t! I have to buy a Workplace themed Hoodie!”


What are you listening to?
The sound of the fan… buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….. Just a moment ago, a car backfired. I did have music on, but the CD ended… DAVE BRUBECK FUCKING JAZZES!

Did you sing at all today?
The Blues…. Always singing the Blues… That reminds me, I have to go listen to some. “I was born under a bad sign….ba da ba domm!”

When's the last time you cried?
The moment I realized the answer was “No!”… sniff.

Do you believe in love?
I guess… but, not lately.

Do you miss anyone?
Don’t know that person.

Do you curse a lot?
Like a fucking sailor and non-fucking sailors.

Are you too forgiving?
NO! But, I forgive you.

Ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex?
Recently? No… The other year? No… The…oh this is depressing.

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
I think the answer is rather complicated in that there are so many circumstances that could really fuck the whole relationship up when there are factors that may contribute to feelings of uncomfortablilty (I am rewriting the English language! POWER, PEOPLE! LANGUAGE IS POWER!)…BUT, life is risk… yadda…yadda…blah…blah… SO, how much pain do you want??? Now, what was the question?

Do you want someone you can't have?
Yes

Have you been to North Carolina?
I don’t know… Have I? Maybe when I was younger, but that may have been So. Carolina… You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been… I’ve read about that place. I HATE YOU, UNC! AND, YOU TOO, DUKE!

When was the last time you talked to your brother or sister?
Hmmm… the other day… Briefly… for this, that, and the other thing.

Do you ever wanna know who you're going to marry?
I am 34 and have stopped thinking about such things.

Would you rather live in Alaska, or Texas?
ALASKA!!!! Running with the Caribou!

Did you mean it when you said "I love you" last?
When did I say it last…. Considering I don’t say it often, when I say it, I mean it.

Is it okay if you kiss people when you're single?
I usually don’t……

I mean…

The idea…

I think people tend to be rather… how should I say it… ummmm… scared of me. BOO!

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
Yeah, and they are all proud of it, too. To be honest, they sound stupid when they talk about it.

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
Ummmmmm……. Gosh…. Being that every 9 years or so God tries to take my life, I think he owes me one???

Do you crack your knuckles?
With a hammer sometimes… But, I have found feathers are much nicer on the skin.

Do you own big sunglasses?
Are girl scout cookies made from real girl scouts?

Would you go in public looking like you do right now?
I just did… … in a nice neighborhood too… where people drive BMWs…

Did you want to go back to school?
NO! à This, of course, is a cryptic answer. What am I talking about here?


Can you handle the truth?
THE TRUTH!.... CAN I HANDLE THE TRUTH!!! I CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! AND, no, I ordered no code Red… Sorry.

Are your nails painted?
Painted? My nails? Hmmmm…. …. Hmmmmm…. I… painted? Really?

Do you wear heels?
I am a heel!

Name one fact about the last person who text you?
They want my money…

What is your favorite thing to eat?
POPCORN!

Where was your default picture taken?
Being that this must be a “myspace” question, I can’t really answer it… But, the blog picture was drawn by a friend. If it was to change, sadly, one must remove the beer.


Do you watch The Hills?
Only when they are alive with the sound of music!

What do you think your number 1 is doing right now?
Being lonely?? Cus, the number 1 is the loneliest number that you ever saw. AND, it’s lonelier then the number 2, which is a lonely number as well… 3, a crowd.

Who would be the first person to know if you got pregnant?
Some scientist at some research facility… BECAUSE, that would be impossible!

Where were you on July 4th, 2008?
Sitting in a Jellystone Park in Wisconsin… feeling miserable, and tired.

Who was the last person you were in a car with?
Paul.

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
Yes.

Do you care what others think about you?
No… fuck people and their thoughts. NOBODY, I mean NOBODY is perfect, except me… of course.

Good day?
No, the worst… Oh, ummm… not really much to write about. I hate my job, though.

What do you look forward to in the next 3 months?
Nothing… How sad is that!?!?!?

Do you have any friends that have babies?
Yes, I guess I do.

How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
Nobody, except family members…

Last time you got flowers?
I haven’t… and if I did, I would wonder…

What are your plans for the weekend?
Steak? Did you say steak?

Do you like winter?
No… the darkness… the feelings in my bones… I could skip it. Fall, now, that’s a month!

Do you regret anything?
So much that I wrote “so much that…”

Do you enjoy late night phone conversations?
Not really… When I get tired, I find that I can’t finish sentences because I lose my train of thought…. Only talk to me late at night if you want to hear what a driveling idiot sounds like.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Sitting and being BORED…

Do you like to cuddle?
I forgot what that feels like…

Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
Steak… Did you say ‘steak’?

Do you think a lot of people think bad things about you?
Who cares!!?!?!?

Do you like your school?
The one I went too…. Like UIUC???? Sure. I guess… J

What will you be doing at 8AM tomorrow?
Drinking coffee… staring out the window… wondering… wondering… wondering….

How was last night?
Shoot… It was… busy.

Do you regret doing anything you've done this week?
No…

Do you pay any bills?
No! Why would I do that!!! I want to go to jail! I want bad credit! I want to ruin my life!

Last time you showered?
This morning because this morning was a good time to do it…

Blue or Green?
Yellow.

Have you ever made a mistake?
Heh… heh.. heh… heeh… Ooops… misspelled “heh”…

What would your last meal be before getting executed?
Human flesh roasted with a white wine sauce and a nice Chianti….

Has someone ever called you beautiful?
Never, actually… never….

Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
I slept on the couch, actually.

Is there one place you'd like to visit?
No… There are several places I would like to visit.

Have you held hands with anyone in the past 48 hours?
No… I haven’t…

Last movie you watched?
Ummmm…. Ummmm….. I can’t think of any that stick out. They must have sucked.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to on the phone?
I haven’t…. WAIT! It was a friend. I needed directions.

Is something bothering you right now?
Yes, but it isn’t on my mind, before you ask again!

Have you been outside today?
Yes, just a few moments ago.

Does the last person who put their arms around you mean anything to you?
Yes…

What were you doing at 11:00 PM?
Last night??? I was walking??? No, I was just setting on the couch after a walk.


Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you talk to 24/7?
No, I don’t…. Does this mean I have a problem, Doctor?

Are you ticklish?
You know it… That’s one of the reasons I actually don’t like to be touched.

How is your heart lately?
My heart??? Well,… emotionally, it’s stunted, dismayed, irritated, confused, angry… physically, it’s fine.

What do you spend most of your money on?

Myself.


Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
Ummm… mainly, no…

How long does it take for you to take a shower?
20 minutes… full cycle.

Do you like the smell of gasoline?
Oh, the delightful smell of anarchy! It’s the smell of victory!

Do you like who you are, as a person?
I could use some improvements… Like pushing people away… Seriously, what does that accomplish.

Is there one thing that is on your mind constantly?
Yes… that constant TICKING!

Are you wearing socks?
Yes, when I wear my shoes…

If you could pack up and move, would you?
Without hesitation!


How many people have you kissed in the past 3 months, did they mean anything?
Nobody… and I guess that meant nothing to me.

Where will you be 12 hours from now?
Here…

The first person you kissed?
Her name was “Red”… and she was beautiful.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Yes… yes, I would… and stop myself from making one bad decision…. Just one… Her name was Megan, and she fucked me up real good.

Have you ever been too drunk to remember anything?
No… that’s my gift, and my curse… The ability to remember everything while intoxicated… sigh.

Have you ever been out later than your curfew?
Define curfew?? Like being out for days? Yes!

Do you think you would make a good parent?
I would make an awesome parent…

Are you taller than 5'4"?
Yes!

Have you ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
YES!

Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
YES! And YES!

Does love scare you?
The one under the bed? YES!

TIRED OF THIS VAMPIRE SHIT!!!!

I just have to... it's... ummmm... Hi!

Okay, so before I head for the walk (I walk an hour a day to keep the doctor away... literally), I just wanted to quickly gripe about this cultural fascination with the VAMPIRE! ENOUGH ALREADY!

Jesus fucking Christ! I hated Ann Rice when she made vampires the "in" thing. Fuck you, Ann Rice. You and your bullshit goth oriented bloodsucker bullshit!!! COME ON!!! Vampires, if you really look at it, are really... They're dead! I mean... I can't explain it. Ahhh, I guess, we are supposed to feel sorry for them... "Look at me! I am a blood-sucking brooding vampire. I have immortality, and all I want to do is just find love!" For fuck sake! I was pretty much done with the vampire crapola after a friend of mine actually wrote a vampire musical. It was SOOOO god awful... It was a rehash of tired Ann Rice images mixed in with songs that... well, lasted for an eternity and made the audience want to actually be bitten to death by vampires. I was proud of him and his effort.... BUT, sorry, Buddy, that shit sucked...literally and figuratively. I can't get those images out of my head! It makes me want to pound the living bejesus out of my skull with a huge mallet! It was when I learned that even though they may be a friend, I don't have to like all the shit they do.... So, yeah, I watched this musical that should have been really called, "ANN RICE -- YOU GODDESS!!! I WORSHIP YOU AND YOU'RE VAMPIREISHNESS!!!!" .... Anne (is it Ann or Anne... oh, who the fuck cares! She's a born-again Chritian now... so I hear...) Rice... you made the vampire what it is today... BORING!!! So, yeah, I was done... Sure, Buffy the Vampire Slayer did a nice job at making me forget my hate for the vampire... It was a good show... One of the only few I actually watched religiously..., but now that this Twilight Saga has brought the Vampire back into vouge... I want to spit. .... SPIT!

Goddamnit! What about the creature for the Black Lagoon? Where are the cliched love stories told about his/her starcrossed loves? Huh? What about that!?!??!

FUCK!

End o'rant!

How I feel at present...

I know... What's with all the bullshit posting? I agree... "Joe, cut that shit OUT!"

Well, I'm working... and when I do that, my mind seems to jump all over the place. I just don't want to do what I need too... But, I plan on focusing in just one second.

Before I do, I just thought I'd share how I am feeling at the moment... by posting the lyrics to a Green Day song. I hate posting lyrics... BUT, sometimes you just have to say "WHAT THE FUCK!?!!??! LOOKS LIKE THE UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS!"

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

I think that captures it to a tee!!! A CAPITAL "T"!

I know, "Joe, the posting of lyrics is such bull shit! We came here to read! We came here to be enlightened! (You came here to be enlightened???? Are you feeling okay?) We came here to ... well... we're all masochists! We want to be punished by reading the crap you manage to produce! NO MORE LYRICS... though a good song... NO MORE LYRICS!!! ORIGINAL CONTENT ONLY!"

Okay... okay! I will do my best, but, kids, you have to understand. It's going to take some work on my part... There is just so much around me and I have only been able to be creative so little. I promise that, only once, in a great big while, will I waste time by ... what is it I am doing? Oh, yeah, try to write pure old fashioned Joe Shit... However, I am going to be starting some side projects that will take some time.... and, those days I won't post. And, like today, even though I said earlier that I wasn't in the mood to write anything, I won't post anything because chances are I really didn't feel like posting... You know me. I will be sporadic, but when I do post, it will be good. I will try. And, if you haven't noticed, though I said I wouldn't post, today, I am just fucking around. You know, like I did in the old days. So, if you want true, original content on those days I offer up nothing to you crazies, then... well... ummm.....


Joe is thinking....


You want original content, then hit that next blog button and look at some boring ass pictures that somebody deemed important.. .... like the following one....



See! ... get that by hitting that blog button...

OR, how about this one!



Actually, I kind of like the above.... ummmm...

One more:


I've always love the "Fluffy" one...


So, yeah, original content... I will work on that... but, only once in awhile.

My life... I just can't explain.

Later!

I had too....

I am a murderer... I had to... Treaty was violated... and... and... they multiplied! MULTIPLIED!... ALL OVER!!

You remember the "Reggies" right? The spiders that I mentioned that lived on my deck? Remember them? They violated that unwritten treaty about who's part of the deck was whose? I guess... well... there were lots of Reggies... LOTS of them. I had no choice! They were all over!

Now, with some spray, I mourn their loss... But, a treaty is a treaty.

It's all... just...

Howdy! Howdy! Howdy!

I have to say this.... LIFE .... BLOWS.... Okay!

Yes, folks, I, survived, yet again the Chicago flooding! It's a miracle I made it back to central Illinois alive! The DesPlaines River tried to kill me! It really did! BUT, if it wasn't for my trusty... If it wasn't for... sheer luck, I may be slowly headed downstream... onward to the mighty Mississippi... in a car... going to end up God knows where.

Small victories today... I am to stay off the Thyroid medicine. I know, you don't care. I care. I couldn't eat for an hour after taking it... and I had to take it first thing. My thyroid may have finally kicked it into gear and we're on our way to good thyroid health!. My cholesterol? Yeah, you're asking... I know you are... it went down 60... 60 some points! BOO YAH!!!

So, anyway, we go... we go... I'd write more, I'd really do that. But, I don't want too.

Later!

Cob Webs!

Gads! Look at all the cobwebs that have formed around the game room.... I've been neglecting. Well, kids, the reason is, I've been playing around with myspace to much. After much thought, I said, "Time to go back to my roots!" I've been on blogger for four... five years now? I can't abandon this project! I just can't!....

So, here I am... I am going to give this place my full attention. Sure, it will be sporadic. I have things to do outside the realm of game room, but when I have that creative vibe? I am so here!!!

LET IT RE-BEGIN!!!

Saturday (yesterday) sucked! IT JUST SUCKED! From the moment I woke up, to the moment I fell asleep on the couch, it was nothing but one mis-adventure after another. Some strange vibe was in the air... some... strange...vibe.

RERUN CITY

I found the original Bob the Dark Lord story... thought it was gone! FOREVER!!! ERASED!!!! . I shall post it in parts... over time... Soon, I will eat breakfast, and then I will go out and about and find something to do... whether it be play bags or visit someplace new ... whatever it is, ... ummmm it will be done?? Yeah, something like that.

The Search for the Dark Lord

An Epic Parody of Nephew's Epic Adventure with the Same Title

By Joe

(Title and chapter titles By Nephew, borrowed straight and in order from his adventure currently in production)




Chapter 1

Tripod


There was a Dark Lord. His name was Bob. He was known all over the land as Bob the Dark Lord. Bob hated the town of Tripod. Why you ask? Because the town was loaded with nice people. Since Bob was an evil Dark Lord, it stands to reason he would hate that place. Tripod was a nice town with nice people.




Chapter 2

The Message


Bob received a message from the people of Tripod. "Come to our Town's 100th anniversary," it read. "We would really like to have you present, Mr. Bob the Dark Lord." Needless to say, Bob wasn't planning to go.




Chapter 3

The Challenge


Bob found it a real challenge trying to avoid the citizens of Tripod. Everywhere he went to be evil, there was some Tripod folk smiling, kind and considerate getting in his way. And they would always say the same thing. "We'd really like to see you at the party, Mr. Bob the Dark Lord. Are you coming?" Bob would give his most fiendish expression and say in the most sinister way, "No! Can't make it! Washing my hair." Bob hated Tripod, a lot! "Those poopie, friendly folks," he'd say to himself. "Can't they see that I am EVIL!"




Chapter 4

The Dark Cave


Bob moved away from his home to a dark cave to avoid the niceness emanating from the citizens of Tripod and the fact they bothered him about that party. However, like an idiot, he forwarded his mail to the cave, and sure enough the citizens of Tripod had found him. They continued to send well wishes and invites to their party.



Chapter 5

The Forest


Bob eventually moved from his cave to a forest far far far far away from Tripod. However, Bob eventually had to move shortly after because of the events about to be described in complete detail in Chapter Six entitled "The Attack of the Sturpents and Toothases."




Chapter 6

The Attack of the Sturpents and Toothases


In the forest, Bob was attacked by sturpents and toothases. He got bit a lot. It hurt. He moved.




Chapter 7

The Man


Bob moved into a big, dark fortress of EVIL. Shortly after settling in, there was knock on the door. It was a man. "Hi," said the man. "I am from Tripod and wanted to remind you about our big anniversary party coming up. We really would like you attend." "No! I hate you!" screamed Bob as he slammed the door shut.

TO BE CONTINUED

My Fish isn't dead yet...

Miles's guarantee expires tomorrow. Can he live?

Ideas often strike me at the oddest times. Those moments are great. I think about the idea. I either catalog the idea, or I act on the idea. Sadly, when I actually sit down to do my daily "blog" exercise, the ideas never strike. I am often left just sitting and staring at a blank blog window while the South Park version of me, to my left, stares at God knows what. What is that South Park version of me staring at? By the look on this face, he seems to be cynically staring at some activity. Hi little South Park caricature of me? How are you? THAT'S what it has come down too... me talking to a cartoon version of me... SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! Oh the humanity! OH THE HUMANITY!!!! SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE FROM PEOPLE AND YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! AH, DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!
Yup...
Charlton Heston quotes... you got it. I felt the moment actually called for it, don't you? Yes, I pat myself on the back... a perfect blend of nothing with popular culture references which becomes a seamless example of irreverence.
So…. Ummm….. blogging is fun!
Well, that does it for now. I could literally find dozens of ways to bore the hell out of you with archaic stories that don’t do much of anything except take up blog space. I could tell you the story of me over-sleeping for TEN MINUTES!!!! … I could tell you that one. OR, I could tell you how I don’t think “refreshing” body wash actually refreshes… I think that’s a lie. I could also go on and on about whole grain foods… it’s like the only thing left that I can eat! Well, I can eat meat, thank god! I made some flesh yesterday… It wasn’t my best work. I need to trust my instincts… I was like, “I need to remove the meat now…..” But, I didn’t. Instead, I left it for a couple more minutes… Stupid! STUPID mistake. …

I think I have done enough damage this evening. Please, go out there and have a wonderful time!

Prost!