Back... again...

here... to my apartments... after a week away handling family affairs. It seems, that no matter where I go, it sucks. I have no escape from the bullshit that is my life! That blows... However, I wish to shout out at the Illini Basketball team! For those that don't give a shit, the team, that was supposed to suck, are undefeated and just won an invitational! VIVA LA ILLINI!!!

That makes me happy.

Slightly Amusing...

Sent by a friend:

Things You Can Only Say On Thanksgiving...............

> 1. Talk about a huge breast!

> 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

> 3. It's Cool Whip time!

> 4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

> 5. That's one terrific spread!

> 6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

> 7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

> 8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

> 9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

> 10. Don't play with your meat.

> 11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.

> 12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

> 13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

> 14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

> 15. How long will it take after you stick it in?

> 16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

> 17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!

> 18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

Teaser!!!!

Coming eventually to "Joe's Game Room"....

From the dark, twisted, perverted mind of Joe...

The epic adventure of two friends...

Friends .... friends that will do anything for each other....


LIMERICK AND HAIKU: Best Friends Forever!!!!


(Pretend there is this cool ass picture here that tantalizes you and makes you curious as to what this epic story... well, not so epic... well, not epic at all... will be all about.)

You have no idea...

how pissed off I get when I come here to the game room, look at my stuff and say... "FUCK! I CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!!!" What happened to those days?

People, I will try... I will try! I will TRY to get my fucking ass in gear and give you some great Joe shit! Not this week... But, eventually.... I have ideas. IDEAS! I just have to figure out how to translate those ideas from thoughts to words!

Prost!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I just thought I would wish everybody a Happy Thanksgiving to anybody who stops by here.

Ummmm... catch you later.

I found this shit...

on my hard drive... I made some changes... enjoy or not. Really, I can't make anybody do anything.

Bullshit... QUESTION FORMAT!

How many people have you dated in 2008?
Hmmmmmmmmmmm…… eh. I didn’t carbon date anybody either… I’d probably have better luck carbon dating, come to think of it.

How did you feel when you woke up today?
“Another day with nothing to look forward too… Oh goody! I better get going!”

Do you want someone dead?
Why would I want anyone dead?

What are you thinking about right now?
The future – time to start thinking about options.


Do you wish someone was with you right now?
Yes.

What time did you go to sleep last night?
It was right after some Canadian sitcom on WGN called “Corner Gas”…. And before the next show on WGN that came after “Corner Gas”…. Canadians look just like us!

Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now?
E-bay… It was a cheap E-bay Illini Hoodie. I use it for walking.

Ever kissed someone who smokes?
Yes…. I did. So there! Dated her too, all you fucking haters! I DIDN’T SMOKE AT THE TIME, EITHER!

Is someone on your mind right now?
Lots of things are on my mind right now. I am sure one of those things is a “someone”.

When was your last encounter with the police.

They wanted me to contribute to some fund… I said, “Can’t! I have to buy a Workplace themed Hoodie!”

What are you listening to?
I did have music on, but the CD ended… DAVE BRUBECK FUCKING JAZZES!

Did you sing at all today?
No…not today.

When's the last time you cried?
Almost earlier today.

Do you believe in love?
I guess… but, not lately.

Do you miss anyone?
Don’t know that person.

Do you curse a lot?
Like a fucking sailor and non-fucking sailors.

Are you too forgiving?
Yeah… no… maybe so… I am indecisive.

Ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex?
Recently? No… The other year? No… The…oh this is depressing.

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
No

Do you want someone you can't have?
Yes

Have you been to North Carolina?
I don’t know… Have I? Maybe when I was younger, but that may have been So. Carolina… You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been… I’ve read about that place. !

When was the last time you talked to your brother or sister?
Earlier today.

Do you ever wanna know who you're going to marry?
I am 34 and have stopped thinking about such things.

Would you rather live in Alaska, or Texas?
ALASKA!!!!

Did you mean it when you said "I love you" last?
When I say it, I mean it.

Is it okay if you kiss people when you're single?
I don’t. I believe in self-control.

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
Yeah, and they are all proud of it, too. To be honest, they sound stupid when they talk about it.

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
Something I haven’t thought about… EVER.

Do you crack your knuckles?
No… no I don’t. I do crack jokes.
Do you own big sunglasses?
Normal size… polarized.

Would you go in public looking like you do right now?
I just did… … in a nice neighborhood too…

Did you want to go back to school?
Nope.


Can you handle the truth?
I have found that I haven’t been handling the truth all that well.

Are your nails painted?
Short… they are short.

Do you wear heels?
Pumps.

Name one fact about the last person who text you?
They want my money…

What is your favorite thing to eat?
POPCORN!

Where was your default picture taken?
Being that this must be a “myspace” question, I can’t really answer it… But, the blog picture was drawn by a friend. If it was to change, sadly, one must remove the beer.

Do you watch The Hills?
Only when they are alive with the sound of music.

What do you think your number 1 is doing right now?
My number? Oh… a "myspace" question. I left myspace… No regrets on that either.

Who would be the first person to know if you got pregnant?
Some scientist at some research facility… BECAUSE, that would be impossible!

Where were you on July 4th, 2008?
Sitting in a Jellystone Park in Wisconsin… feeling miserable, and tired.

Who was the last person you were in a car with?
Geri.

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
Yes.

Do you care what others think about you?
No… fuck people and their thoughts.

Good day?
No, the worst…

What do you look forward to in the next 3 months?
Nothing… How sad is that!?!?!?

Do you have any friends that have babies?
Yes, I guess I do.

How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
Nobody, except family members…

Last time you got flowers?
I haven’t… and if I did, I would wonder…

What are your plans for the weekend?
Family crisis.

Do you like winter?
No… the darkness… the feelings in my bones… I could skip it. Fall, now, that’s a season!

Do you regret anything?
So much that I wrote “so much that…”

Do you enjoy late night phone conversations?
Not really…

What are you doing tomorrow?
Sitting and being BORED…

Do you like to cuddle?
I forgot what that feels like…

Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
I made a big mistake….

Do you think a lot of people think bad things about you?
Who cares!!?!?!?

Do you like your school?
The one I went too…. Like UIUC???? Sure. I guess…

What will you be doing at 8AM tomorrow?
Drinking coffee… sitting at a desk… wondering… wondering… wondering….

How was last night?
It was fine, I guess… I took a walk. I had dinner with a friend and her family.

Do you regret doing anything you've done this week?
No…

Do you pay any bills?
No! Why would I do that!!! I want to go to jail! I want bad credit! I want to ruin my life!

Last time you showered?
This morning because this morning was a good time to do it…

Blue or Green?
Yellow.

Have you ever made a mistake?
I…yeah.

What would your last meal be before getting executed?
I don’t know. Something without any greens in it. Wait, if I am about to die, I guess I can have greens… and a beer.. and smoke…

Has someone ever called you beautiful?
Never, actually… never….

Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
I slept on the couch, actually.

Is there one place you'd like to visit?
No… There are several places I would like to visit.

Have you held hands with anyone in the past 48 hours?
No… I haven’t…

Last movie you watched?
Ummmm…. Ummmm….. I can’t think of any that stick out. They must have sucked.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to on the phone?

I don’t know.

Is something bothering you right now?
Yes, and it’s on my mind, before you ask again!

Have you been outside today?
Yes, just a few moments ago.

Does the last person who put their arms around you mean anything to you?
Yes…

What were you doing at 11:00 PM?
Last night??? I was walking??? No, I was just setting on the couch after a walk.


Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you talk to 24/7?
No, I don’t…. Does this mean I have a problem, Doctor?

Are you ticklish?
You know it… That’s one of the reasons I actually don’t like to be touched.

How is your heart lately?
My heart??? Well,… emotionally, it’s stunted, dismayed, irritated, confused, angry… physically, it’s fine.

What do you spend most of your money on?

Myself.


Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
Ummm… mainly, no…

How long does it take for you to take a shower?
20 minutes… full cycle.

Do you like the smell of gasoline?
Oh, the delightful smell of anarchy! It’s the smell of victory!

Do you like who you are, as a person?
I could use some improvements… Like in not pushing people away… Seriously, what does that accomplish?

Is there one thing that is on your mind constantly?
Yes… that constant TICKING!

Are you wearing socks?
Yes, when I wear my shoes…

If you could pack up and move, would you?
Without hesitation!


How many people have you kissed in the past 3 months, did they mean anything?
Nobody… and I guess that meant nothing to me.

Where will you be 12 hours from now?
Here…

The first person you kissed?
Her name was “Red”… and she was beautiful.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Yes… yes, I would… and stop myself from making one bad decision…. Just one… Her name was Megan, and she fucked me up real good.

Have you ever been too drunk to remember anything?
No… that’s my gift, and my curse… The ability to remember everything while intoxicated… sigh.

Have you ever been out later than your curfew?
Define curfew?? Like being out for days? Yes!

Do you think you would make a good parent?
I would make an awesome parent…

Are you taller than 5'4"?
Yes!

Have you ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
YES!

Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
YES! And YES!

Does love scare you?
YES!

It's Game Over!

I learned today, and the stars didn't have any say in any of this, that I am not a superhero.

The DOGGONE WORLD IS MINE!

Seriously, what do I need to do to finally GET EVERYTHING!?!?!?!

This world needs an enema.....

Does anybody have any plans laying around... you know... for a doomsday device of some kind he or she will be willing to part with? Anybody?

Please?

The Stars Don't Know Shit!

Yesterday, as you recall, some star and planet alignment said that I was fed up with some people and I need to come to terms with my emotions. I will admit this, some of that is kind of true. I am pretty fed up with some people. As for my emotions? I am quite aware of how I feel. That part was utter crapola. AND, let it be known that I will never admit to any damn star out there that it might be right about something. You know stars. They always gloat. You'll never hear the end to it. Fucking stars... Anyway, here's the shitola that ended up in my inbox today and again, more introspection called for by the Milky Way:

Tuesday, Nov 18th, 2008 -- You may be tempted to make a power play today, especially if you think that someone else is receiving acknowledgment that you deserve. Be careful, for this can be a dangerous move. Examine your motives before upsetting the applecart. Once you begin, you'll need to follow through to the logical conclusion, so think twice before taking action.

WHAT?!?!? What conflict are the heavens talking about? Why must I always think about things? Why must I always be cautious? What if I only think once before taking action? What would happen then? Power play? There's a power play? I want power? (Sure, I want to rule the world, but ... well... ) Who is talking my acknowledgement? Hey, bastard, give me my acknowledgment! The stars say that you may have gotten something that I feel that I deserve! Anyway, the horroscope is bullshit. The stars... all bullshit. I am not a big fan of apples. I wouldn't distrub any sort of apple moving device such as a cart.

I guess the point of all of this... you can't learn anything by looking at the stars...or the planets...or star clusters that look like goats or twins or scorpions. They can't tell you anything. These things don't have the knowledge. We are on this rock alone. And, as much as I would love to think that there is some guiding power that can dispense advice and answers, all I have is my knowledge and experiences to guide me through. And, what I've learned over the last few months is simply.... ummmm..... that.... hmmmm... ummmm.... and.... you see.... Sadly, many of the lessons that I learned haven't all been that positive. I guess that's why I struggle with coming up with anything noteworthy or illuminating..... I just know that a paragraph in the newspaper holds no answers. There are times it becomes a struggle finding some reason to keep going... to keep moving forward. I keep moving forward mainly because I don't like the alternatives. It shouldn't be this hard to keep doing what I do.... sigh. Fucking stars.

It's COLD outside!

So, you know what I am going to do?

That's right! Fucking walk!

See ya!

Here was my "Stupid" scope today...

Monday, Nov 17th, 2008 -- You have reached your limit dealing with people who are not willing to acknowledge their feelings. But don't jump to any conclusions, for it's possible that you misinterpreted someone's attempt to reach out to you. Sometimes, you can be so goal-oriented that you miss a more subtle communication. Take the time to sink into your emotions before accusing others of avoiding theirs.

Silly... silly... silly. How can you get all this by looking at the damn stars? You know what the stars say to me? "Twinkle! Twinkle!" .... That's it! Evidently, the stars are actually saying, "Joe, you aren't sure of your emotions." Well, STARS, I AM pretty sure about my emotions. SO THERE! I KNOW what I am feeling. And, you know what that feeling is? BLAH! Yup... BLAH!

Stick that in your hydrogen gas and light it, Star!

Sigh some more...

Nothing is right in my life....

AND, to make matters worse, the fucking Illini game wasn't streamed because of technical difficulties...

I sat here... working..... in silence.... yet again denied something I looked forward too...

I just give up.

Joe is out...

More Bull Shit... ARGGGG!!!

I can't take it much longer. Somebody... ANYBODY... give me some good news.

Illini are winning!

GO ILLINI!

OH...

for those days of wearing ugly flannels! Where have those days gone?

Another bullshit filled day, I fear. When is this going to end?

BUT, I did learn today that I can read trivia questions very well... Almost in Alex Trebek style. I am thinking about going after his job. That is, of course, after I take over the world. Without further ado: How about one more list of ....

TEN EVEN MORE THINGS I WILL CHANGE/DO WHEN I RULE THE WORLD....

1. I will arrest people... I will have too, because, I will be the law.

2. I don't understand why the freezer is generally smaller then the cool side of most refrigerators. Most home owners have to buy a separate chest freezer because the other freezer is either to short or thin. From now on fridges will have have two halves... equal sized! If people still think having Internet access through some console on the fridge is necessary (and, quite frankly it isn't), they will be arrested.

3. I never really understood the point of square dancing... It's gone! I one square dances. They will be arrested.

4. I will send postcards out that will read: "All those women that rejected me in the past??? Look at me now, Beyotches! I bet you wish you were more kind! Oh, by the way, you're arrested!"

5. Put my inner circle on some sort of family plan text thingy so we can keep in touch and tabs on the general populous. I can't do it alone. I'll need support. If they fail to serve me well... arrested!

6. I will make sure George Lucas does not make nor write any film ever again! George? What the fuck were you thinking messing with my childhood like that? You're arrested!

7. I will force people to look both ways before crossing the street. This will prevent any unecessary traffic accidents and deaths. If people fail to be safe in those streets, I will burn their houses down... Oh, and, they will be arrested.

8. Talking in movie theaters on cellphones... OR texting/talking with somebody while you're in my company... How fucking rude!!!! Oh, it was an emergancy? I see... I see... Bullshit... You're just trying to get away from me. What do you mean I've changed since I became the only world ruler? I am still the same person I always was.... That's crap... What? Put that down! Don't you go shaking that knife at me. I arrested them because they deserved it. They didn't comply to my street rule. ... Nobody complies with my street rule? That... oh... yeah... I .... Fuck this, you're arrested.

9. Touch my popcorn, and you will be arrested.

And, finally...

10. I will build larger prisons and have a LARGE police force.

Today...

I wearing my "ugly" flannel shirt. I forgot I had it. It's beautifully ugly and comfortable, actually. I bought it at a Farm and Fleet... somewhere outside some town not far from here. I bought it when I had this outrageous idea to throw a themed party. The idea was called: "REDNECK PARTY".... I started collecting things for the party such as the flannel I am wearing.... I had several people contribute ideas as well as pledge time to transform my sister's home into a beautiful mimic of the South.... Sadly, it never happened. The summer we decided to throw the party, my sister was diagnosed with cancer. Pretty much killed most of our summer plans... Anyway, the other day I found in my sister's garage the "Lawn Jesus" I bought for $5.00 at a Wisconsin FleaMarket.... Damn was that thing funny..... It is now sitting proudly on a shelf ready to be lawned at a moments notice.... Come to think of it, I should bring "Lawn Jesus" here to Central Illinois... Maybe then I will actually not be considered and treated like such an outsider. Then again, people here in Central Illinois may ship me off to Tennessee. Hmmmm.... To make a short story shorter... here I come world... Ugly flannel and all.... But, no "Lawn Jesus."

Will I ever learn....

I took a nice long walk today... really long... like the last time I took a really long walk... and, wouldn't you know it, I re-hurt my foot because I didn't properly care of it the last time I did this....

I got nothing accomplished on this walk... nothing... just rehashed all the ways I've been screwing up lately and asking myself why I do the things I do.... I had no answers... just more questions.

"Eventually," I said to myself. "Eventually we'll figure it out.... BUT, how much to we have to keep losing until we do?"

Delusions. . .

I actually thought about it for real.... I asked myself, "Joe, what would it take to actually take over the world?" James Bond movies make it seem almost easy. These movie megalomaniacs have all these minions (How do they get those? Is it because there is a good dental plan?) at their disposal, and enough money to build some sort of device they can use to hold the world hostage. After thinking about it for awhile, I decided that it's not that easy. There are issues to consider. For example, if I make Canada a nature preserve, where do I place all the misplaced Canadians? Anyway, to make a long story short, I decided to place my want to rule the world on the back burner and instead focus on determining possibilities. I should also think on smaller scales in order to build up to larger scales like taking over the world. This is how I came up with the following:

TEN THINGS I WOULD DO IF I SUDDENLY BECAME FILTHY RICH!
(I love these list things all of a sudden).

1. Travel the United States and collect a whole bunch of bumper stickers: "I've Been to Wall Drug!"

2. Ramon (or is it Ramen) noodles! Ramon noodles! Ramon noodles! I would never eat them again! EVER!!!!

3. Buy a popcorn factory then eat all the popcorn I can until I puke.

4. Buy a container of Tic Tacs... the orange flavor.

5. Buy Wisconsin... liberate central Illinois from the evil clutches of cheese sauce with real cheese.

6. Play ski ball until my hearts content.

7. DO NOTHING!!! Why should I do something? I am filthy rich, suckers!

8. Real estate! Real estate! Real estate! ... Buy some or something.

9. Buy some random street... and name it after me.

And, finally,

10. Buy Canada!

I know what you are thinking... "Joe, how can you be such a bastard? What about helping family and friends?" Good question. I will get back to you on that! :)

Prost!

Time for Remembering....

I like to walk/hike... It's my new thing. I was with a friend yesterday, and we decided to walk along the Lake Michigan lake shore. I had never partaken in this Chicago MUST before.... Anyway, as I looked at the gloomy lake (weather was cold, rainy, nasty), I remembered that tomorrow is the the anniversary of the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. I would like to dedicate today's crappy ass blog to that disaster and all the Nautical disasters in history.... AND, I just wanted to not really write anything because I don't feel like it.

Thanks to Gordon Lightfoot for the following lyrics (Illini basketball streamed at 4:30pm today at www.bigtennetwork.com... go Illini!).

THE WRECK OF THE EDMUND FITZGERALD

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
When the skies of November turn gloomy.

With a load of iron ore - 26,000 tons more
Than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty
That good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
When the gales of November came early

The ship was the pride of the American side
Coming back from some mill in Wisconson
As the big freighters go it was bigger than most
With a crew and the Captain well seasoned.

Concluding some terms with a couple of steel firms
When they left fully loaded for Cleveland
And later that night when the ships bell rang
Could it be the North Wind they'd been feeling.

The wind in the wires made a tattletale sound
And a wave broke over the railing
And every man knew, as the Captain did, too,
T'was the witch of November come stealing.

The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
When the gales of November came slashing
When afternoon came it was freezing rain
In the face of a hurricane West Wind

When supper time came the old cook came on deck
Saying fellows it's too rough to feed ya
At 7PM a main hatchway caved in
He said fellas it's been good to know ya.

The Captain wired in he had water coming in
And the good ship and crew was in peril
And later that night when his lights went out of sight
Came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Does anyone know where the love of God goes
When the words turn the minutes to hours
The searchers all say they'd have made Whitefish Bay
If they'd fifteen more miles behind her.

They might have split up or they might have capsized
They may have broke deep and took water
And all that remains is the faces and the names
Of the wives and the sons and the daughters.

Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings
In the ruins of her ice water mansion
Old Michigan steams like a young man's dreams,
The islands and bays are for sportsmen.

And farther below Lake Ontario
Takes in what Lake Erie can send her
And the iron boats go as the mariners all know
With the gales of November remembered.

In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed
In the Maritime Sailors' Cathedral
The church bell chimed, 'til it rang 29 times
For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald.

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
Superior, they say, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early.

© 1976 Moose Music, Inc.

As an FYI for all those "FYI" loving folks: In the Ojibwe language, the lake is called Gichigami, meaning "big water". It is also written "Gitche Gumee" as recorded by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in The Song of Hiawatha.

Bring It!

Illini Basketball season is almost here! Illini Basketball season is almost here! Illini Basketball season is almost here! AND, one last time for emphasis.... Illini Basketball Season is almost here!

WOO!!!!! HOO!!!!

"Is there....

anybody out there?" ..... Yes, folks, today I began with a lyric from Pink Floyd. Oh how clever is that!?!?!? Yes, not so clever is it? Especially if you aren't a Pink Floyd fan... or don't care if you are out there of care if anybody is out there. Serious, where are you when you wonder who's out there? My guess is you are in a place you shouldn't be and more than likely being stalked by some crazed dude in a political mask with hedge clippers.

I think it would suck being stalked by somebody with hedge clippers. Those things have got to hurt once they are used to clip you. I am thinking the immense blood loss would be incredible. Take this as a public service warning to you all... avoid lunatics with hedge clippers. It could hurt.

Now, the main event, bar any hedge clippers....

10 MORE changes I will make when I rule the world.... Ready, set, go!

1. Some bullshit about world peace or crapola like that.... Yeah, I would bring it to fruition... I guess it needs to happen. Once I rule the world, I guess I would want to keep ruling it. I don't want to be killed... That's all I would need... Bozo's with guns... or ... hedge clippers trying to take me out. Maybe I should, with world peace, get rid of vigilante Bozos as well.

2. I will remove the word "Poinsettia" from the English Lexicon...

3. The new Christmas plant would be eggplant. That is until I decide to remove "eggplant" from our language. I am not a fan of that word. Not a big fan at all.

4. Space aliens will get in at half-price!

5. The Global Anthem will be... "I'm A Little Teapot" sung to the tune of Led Zeppelin's "Black Dog"... And, yes, the song's movements must be done.... I don't have to do them. YOU DO! (A good alternate song would be Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" ... I love the fish bowl lyric. Fantastic!)

6. Antarctica will be home to the most kick ass sledding hill imaginable.

7. Sorry manatees, you're out!

8. The famous "Running of the Bulls" will be changed to the "Running of the Caribou."

9. All distances will be measured in hours and minutes.

10. Kenyans will no longer be allowed to compete in marathon races. We know they can kick our asses.
11. BONUS: The number "1" will no longer be the loneliest. That title will then belong to "233,353,234."


What a wonderful world it will be!

What does it all mean???

Can somebody tell me?


When I ask questions like this, I think of the following gem:

THE UNIVERSE SONG, from Monty Python's THE MEANING OF LIFE

Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown, and things seem hard
or tough.
and people are stupid, obnoxious or daft,
and you feel that you've had quite enouuuuuuuuugh...

Just
re-
member that your standing on a planet that's evolving,
and revolving at nine hundred miles an hour...
That's orbiting at ninety miles a second, so it's reckoned,
the sun that is the source of all our power.
The sun and you and me, and all the stars that we can see,
are moving at a million miles a day.
in an outer spiral-arm at forty thousand miles an hour
of the galaxy we call the Milky Way.

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars,
it's a hundred thousand lightyears side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand lightyears thick,
but out by us it's just three thousand lightyears wide.
We're thirty thousand lightyears from galactic central point,
we go 'round every two hundred million years.
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions,
in this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,
in all of the directions it can whiz.
As fast as it can go, that's the speed of light you know;
twelve million miles a minute, that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember when your feeling very small and insecure,
how amazingly unlikely is your birth,
and pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'cause there's bugger-all down here on earth!

Withdrawn....

"At my window, sad and lonely," croons Jeff Tweedy lead in my current favorite band Wilco....

This really has nothing to do with anything. I just always wanted to use a song lyric done by Wilco to begin a blog entry. I think, in the past, I've used this one before. I guess it is nothing new. It appears I am repeating myself.

Anyway, for those who know me... on Saturday, November 22 in a location found in Northern Illinois (North of I-80) will be the often talked about "JOE DRINKS A BEER" PARTY.... It will be a cocktail type thingy where I, Joe, will be drinking a couple beers (only a couple beers, because... well... I can't really drink anymore).

It's a chance for several parties, including myself, to unwind, after a whirlwind of bad luck and several months of bullshit. Mark your calendars and contact me for details either through my comments located here on my blog or through my personal e-mail address (for those who know it).

Prost!!!!

"Annie"...

was okay as musicals go.... However, they nailed it right on the head with this gem:

"It's the hard-knock life for us!"

[ORPHANS]
It's the hard-knock life for us!
It's the hard-knock life for us!

[ANNIE]
'Steada treated,

[ORPHANS]
We get tricked!

[ANNIE]
'Steada kisses,

[ORPHANS]
We get kicked!

[ALL]
It's the hard-knock life!
Got no folks to speak of, so,
It's the hard-knock row we how!

[ANNIE]
Cotton blankets,

[ORPHANS]
'Steada of wool!

[ANNIE]
Empty Bellies

[ORPHANS]
'Steada of full!

[ALL]
It's the hard-knock life!

[ANNIE]
Don't if feel like the wind is always howl'n?

[KATE AND TESSIE]
Don't it seem like there's never any light!

[DUFFY AND JULY]
Once a day, don't you wanna throw the towel in?

[MOLLY AND PEPPER]
It's easier than puttin' up a fight.

[ANNIE]
No one's there when your dreams at night get creepy!
No one cares if you grow...of if you shrink!
No one dries when your eyes get wet an' weepy!

[ALL]
From all the cryin' you would think this place's a sink!
Ohhhh!!!!!!!
Empty belly life!
Rotten smelly life!
Full of sorrow life!
No tomorrow life!

[MOLLY]
Santa Claus we never see

[ANNIE]
Santa Claus, what's that?
Who's he?

[ALL]
No one cares for you a smidge
When you're in an orphanage!

[MOLLY]
(Making a whistling sound and imitating Miss. Hannigan)
You'll stay up till this dump shines
like the top of the Chrysler Building.

[ORPHANS]
Yank the whiskers from her chin
Jab her with a safety Pin
Make her drink a mickey finn
I love you, Miss Hannigan

[MOLLY]
(whistle) Get to work!
(whistle) Strip them beds!
(whistle) I said get to work!

[ALL]
It's the hard-knock life for us
It's the hard-knock life for us
No one cares for you a smidge
When your in an orphanage
It's the hard-knock life
It's the hard-knock life
It's the hard-knock life!


BRAVO!!! BRAVO!!!!

I also liked the song "Easy Street" from that show. Anyhoo, I must go.... Thar be issues afoot... ARRRR....

Halloween....

thus begins the unofficial start of the Christmas season!!!! GET OUT THERE AND BUY! BUY! BUY!!!!!!

If you don't, you can't save the economy, and then you're un-American!

BE AMERICAN!!!!! BUY CHRISTMAS!!!!

(in case you feel like buying for me, and that isn't such a bad idea, I want money to sporting goods stores because I want to take up hiking and I need good shoes <--- shameless victim of commercialism!!!! Yes, I am being cynical!!! Oh yes....
It's not that I don't like Christmas... I just don't like the endless parade of Christmas bullshit that goes along with it... AND, I am just not in the mood at present to be all JOLLY..... I can tell you stories... STORIES... Well, not really that much of a story. I am perturbed. Here's my horoscope for the day... It's actually rather quite true: Everywhere you turn there is change and it makes you nervous. You think that you need to stabilize your life now, but this may be impossible with so many circumstances out of your control. Instead of trying to do the impossible, focus your attention on how you react to what's happening. Your life will get easier once you give up the idea of being in charge of it all. ... For once the horoscope is directed toward me. Well, back to the walk on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams.... sigh.... I hope you all have a good day and be happy... and go buy Christmas stuff. Wal-Mart should have a rather nice Christmas section by now... Halloween stuff was 50-75% off yesterday to make room).

Anyhoo, I thought the following lyrics by Tom Lehrer would be apropos for this, the start of endless commercials and all that applies!

Christmas time is here, by golly,
Disapproval would be folly,
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and dont say when.
Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the dickens,
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.

On christmas day you cant get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore,
Theres time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four.

Relations, sparing no expensell
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.
Just the thing I need! how nice!
It doesnt matter how sincere it
Is, nor how heartfelt the spirit,
Sentiment will not endear it,
Whats important is the price.

Hark the herald tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry, merchants,
May you make the yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high
Tell us to go out and buy!

So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Dont stand underneath when they fly by.